This Week on the Web brings you the latest Thor and Transformers trailers, and new Google tablet, that damn autocorrect, more people getting trampled in an effort to get cheap crap from Wal Mart, the impending collapse of America, and more!
The latest Thor trailer: Look, I know this is petty, but I just can’t get on board with the way Mjolnir looks in this movie. I even know that it’s source (comic and legend) accurate, but why would you want some lame sledge hammer when you could have a giant, lightning-throwing battle axe? (via AJ Wiswell)
Glee star Heather Morris might be the next Buffy: I’ve never watched Glee, so all I can say is “WTF YOU’RE REBOOTING BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER WITHOUT JOSS WHEDON WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?”
Emma Stone as Gwen Stacey: From the Spider-Man reboot.
Mega Man meets Halo: This mashup is fantastic, and it makes me want a Mega Man movie. (via Matt Burdell)
Star Wars as created by Dr. Seuss: This body is old, but it’s all that I’ve got, when 900 you reach, look so good you will not! Really, they didn’t have to change Yoda’s dialog all that much to make it Seuss-like.
George Lucas plans to use dead movie stars in new 3D films: I’m amazed that no one has stabbed this man in the face yet. On the other hand, this might be a complete lie. But I’m still amazed that he hasn’t been face-stabbed. I mean, those prequels were crap, am I right?
Unused Superman and Doomsday concept art: From (what could have been) Superman Returns.
Google eBooks: Google just launched its nook/kindle competitor. It uses Adobe’s DRM, which means I won’t be using it.
Google reveals Honeycomb, their new Android tablet: I am cautiously optimistic that this will be more useful than the iPad. (via Slashdot)
Was NASA’s announcement just a publicity stunt? You know that thing where they discovered an entirely new form of life? It may have been pure bullshit.
Damn You Auto Correct: This thing is the bane of my existence, and I’m glad someone finally decided to do something about it. (via Candice Torres)
The best Cash 4 Gold rejection letter of all time: Of all time! My favorite part is the birthday party hosted by Ed McMahon at McDonald’s.
11 celebrities that were secretly total badasses: Did you know that Samuel L. Jackson was a Black Panther? Or that fought sharks in World War II? Well now you do. (via AJ Wiswell)
6 animals that just don’t give a f**k: “Like a backpack capable of hate.” (via AJ Wiswell)
The intro to Monday Night Football – From 1973: My favorite part is the guy giving the OK sign. (via John Myers)
Salsa Dog: Not dance, not the food. Your weekly dose of squee. (via AJ Wiswell)
Imagining food can stave off hunger: The brain is simply amazing. These guys are claiming that thinking about your favorite foods – rather than avoiding those thoughts – might be the best was to keep dietary compliance.
Target customers trampled on Black Friday: I really love these videos. I especially like the part where the grown man collapses and starts crying, right around the 54 second mark. These things should be illegal. (via BoingBoing)
Hanukkah Hams: Little known fact: sin is delicious.
Krampus: the darker side of Christmas: A hairy, horned devil that accompanies St. Nicholas around and drags evil children to hell? Now that’s a Christmas tradition I could get on board with. (via Roger Ebert)
Salvation Army throws out Twilight and Harry Potter donations: Because they aren’t “Christian.” I don’t know if this is a universal policy, or just Canadian.
How America will collapse by 2025: Executive summary: our economy is in shambles, our military is falling apart, and our educational system isn’t actually teaching kids anything. I need to go brush up on my Chinese. (via PZ Myers)
The Fourth Tea Party: Well this is a gem. Steven Grant explains that the Tea Party isn’t a new movement; in fact, it is a reoccurring phenomena, ordained by god almighty! So, yeah, this guy is basically advocating holy civil war so that Wall Street can charge higher interest rates. Or something. I am honestly dumbfounded that these people can read the Bible and not realize that it completely, totally condemns their political mindset. (via PZ Myers)
Church sues parents for letting a minister molest their daughter: This is abso-fucking-lutely unbelievable. So a couple of missionaries left their daughter with a church’s youth leader, and the youth leader sexually assaulted her. Now the church is suing the parents for negligence. I hope they all rot in hell.
The women of the “stay at home daughters” movement: Speaking of people that should rot in hell, check out this quote: “Daughters aren’t to be independent. They’re not to act outside the scope of their father. As long as they’re under the authority of their fathers, fathers have the ability to nullify or not the oaths and the vows. Daughters can’t just go out independently and say, ‘I’m going to marry whoever I want.’ No. The father has the ability to say, ‘No, I’m sorry, that has to be approved by me.’” Dear Doug Phillips: Fuck. You.