In the movies, when someone dies, you run your hand gently over their face, and their eyes close. It doesn’t work like that in real life.
I’m talking about a cat, but it didn’t feel like that at the time. Her name was Beauty, but pet names are more suggestions than facts in our house, and lately she was called Floobey Boosh more often than not. Boosh came from “Beauty,” and “Floobey” came from… well, it’s a long story.
Beauty used to be… portly, would be a kind way of saying it. The Epitome of Obesity would be a slightly less kind way, and that’s how the Wiswell Sisters referred to her for some time. Then it was just Chubby, which became Flubby, which became Floobey.
The cat didn’t mind. Cat’s ignore anything that isn’t a can of food being opened anyway.
She was twenty-plus years old, which is about ninety-seven in human years. She was old and fraile, but dammit the girl just wouldn’t die. For a while, I was convinced that she would outlive all of us, which led to another one of her names: Rasputin.
She’d been going down hill for a while now. She wasn’t as quick to jump up on the couch, and when she laid down, you could tell that she was trying to align her joints just so. She was deaf, and her eyesight was going, and she couldn’t really clean herself anymore.
When she got an abscess in her jaw, we had it drained, gave her a course of antibiotics, and hoped for the best, but the infection came back. The vet said that one of her teeth would have to come out… but that at Beauty’s age, she just wouldn’t survive the anesthesia. There was really only one thing to do.
She sat on my lap all last night, and slept in bed with us all night long, cuddled up next to us, nestled in our arms. And I know that it’s just my sentimental side wanting this to be true, but even Pixel, who thinks everything on earth exists to be hunted down and nibbled into submission, seemed to take it easy on her last night.
Beauty slept in our bed until half past eleven this morning. She had her favorite food for breakfast, and some of the treats that she seemed to love. She sat in my lap during the car ride, alternating between looking out the window and trying to wedge herself under the brake pedal. When we parked, she ate more of her treats from the palms of our hands.
We waited for the vet for what felt like forever, but it was probably less than ten minutes. Beauty lay on her side, on a blanket made of soft felt. We cradled her face and stroked her hair.
It was over faster than I expected. In a scant few seconds the vet took the stethoscope away and told us to spend as much time with her as we needed. He said he was sorry, and then we were alone.
She didn’t look any different. There was no eerie stillness, no sense that she wasn’t really there. It was just Boosh. And her eyes wouldn’t close.
That was just beautiful. I’m crying like a baby.
Very sorry to hear about your loss. Getting an animal euthanized is so hard, but it’s the kindest thing you can do, sometimes.
So sorry to hear about your cat. It sounds like she lived a long and happy life and you had a great last day together. I dread the day when we will have to make that last trip to the vet with one of our three. Best Wishes!
Oh Thomas how sad and how beautifully written. I’m sorry for the loss of your pet!!!
u know, usually u make me cry from laughing but this…can`t stop tears falling :’( Made me remember my passed away furry buddies, it`s always so hard…she lived a very long life and seems a good one if there is some one to cry after her…
So sorry for your loss. I had to put down my dog, Loki, last year and it was, without a doubt, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
Wow Thomas, I am very sorry for ur loss, I went through the same with my dog of 16 years :( U truly have a way with words, whether it’s making us laugh or cry and that, my friend, is a real gift – that was beautifully written! May u find comfort in the fact that she lived a long life – hang in there!
Oh, I’m crying. I’m so sorry for your loss, Thomas.
She was a very lucky cat to have had so much love throughout her life and right till the end, dying is harder for those left behind and I’m sorry you had to go through all this, my cat died a few weeks ago and as painful as it was, I can’t imagine the pain of having to take him to the vet to die.
It’s always hard to say goodbye after so long – but at least you have a pleasant memory of her last hours (or as pleasant as they can be when one is ill). Just try to hang onto that rather that the moments post-injection.
I lost my feline companion of over half my life suddenly 5 years ago to a heart attack and stroke, but I’ll always remember the night before when he was in a mood to pounce on my feet in bed the night before.
Rest in peace, Beauty. You will clearly be missed. <3
It's always horrible to say goodbye to a pet. Especially when it's a case of having them euthanized. You gave her a wonderful goodbye, though. I'm teary-eyed over here.
– Ellie.
Ooh So sad :’(
I’m sorry for your loss
I recently got a cat and I hope she’ll live as long and as happy as yours ^^
You wrote this so beautifully! *snif*
I’m so sorry for your loss. I understand your pain, I lost a cat a few years ago too. =(
Oh Thomas, you make me laugh and now you make me cry.
I’m so sorry that you had to say goodbye to Beauty.
She is very lucky to have been loved so much, for so long.
xx
I’m so sorry for your loss. Know that she had a good and long life that was all the richer because she had you!
Thanks Sofia
Thanks Anita
Thanks Beth… yeah, I hope that we were able to make her final moments as special as they could be.
Thanks Kat
Thanks Elina… yeah, it’s hard, but it’s also necessary. And I think it was a long, good life.
Thanks Laur… sorry about Loki.
Thanks Alicia, sorry about your own friend. We’re hanging on as best we can.
Thanks Danielle
Thanks Jez, sorry about your own loss. I hope her passing was peaceful.
Thanks Luthien… yeah, we made the few hours previous as happy as we could.
Thanks Ellie
Thanks Mona
Thanks Lithium, sorry about your own cat.
Thanks Hayley
Thanks Maria
massive hugs. lost my 12-yr-old buddy to cancer a few years back, in the car on the way to the awful dreaded vet trip. it’s so hard.
Thanks bekka, sorry about Buddy.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Rest in peace, Beauty.
I’m so sorry for your loss! Beauty really was a beautiful cat, and I’m very thankful to you for sharing Beauty’s story with us! Take care!!! :)
Thanks Tabi.
Thanks Mailin.
That was beautiful, I’m so sorry for your loss. At least her last day was a happy one.
thanks Rowan.
I know how you feel and i’m sorry. I always think of my cats and I smile at their memories, and it helps. she really was a Beauty. take care
Thank you for sharing your experience, even though I imagine it was very difficult to write. You story is a very poetic piece of art and it made me feel every emotion. You are a gifted writer and and obviously very caring cat caretaker. Thanks again.
Thanks Misty.
Being a writer is kind of a double-edged sword in cases like this. I couldn’t not write this, but doing so wasn’t fun or easy. But I guess, at least for me, reliving something is part of working through it.
Thanks Francesca. You’re right, trying to remember the happy times does help.
Oh my gosh. I am so sorry, Thomas. That must be hard, to loose her after such a long time, and yet you wrote that beautifully. I am so sorry.
Thanks Gloria… it’s getting a bit easier every day.
I lost my very old childhood cat in a similar way. Seemed like she would go on forever…. but obviously didn’t. I wasn’t there at the vet but it was still tough.
Speaking from experience, it does get easier, as you’re finding out. There will be brief moments of melancholy now and then when something makes you remember her, but ultimately the worst of it fades away with time.
Thanks Zoe… yeah, it does come and go in moments. Thanks for the kind words.
It’s a real pleasure to find soemone who can think like that