Cassie Blake: Um… why is the world on fire?
Jake Armstrong: Well I’m certainly not burning an ancient symbol of vengeance and persecution into the lawn, that’s for sure!
Cassie Blake: Oh good. Well I’m going back to bed then.
Cassie Blake: Hi Grandma! Do you know anything about an older, hotter version of Nick who might have been standing outside my window last night?
Grandma Jane: Only that he’s Nick’s older brother, and that he’s inherited Nick’s place in the Circle. Oh, and he’s a troubled loner, so you should probably fall in love with him before you finally end up with Adam.
Diana Meade: Hi Daddy! I found this picture of Nick when he was a baby and we all went out on the boat and he was afraid of drowning so he hung onto our arm and asked him to protect him from drowning so he wouldn’t drown! Remember how you didn’t want him to drown?
Charles Meade: Wibble.
Cassie Blake: Hi guys! We have a newer, hotter Circle member!
Adam Conant: He is not hot and you wouldn’t like him and I hear he smells and also his hair is stupid!
Diana Meade: …They have a history.
Faye Chamberlain: Hi Melissa! It’s been like forty-eight hours since Nick died, why aren’t you over him yet! I mean, I’m totally over Jake, and would never slut myself up just to make him want me just so I could see the pain in his eyes when I tell him he ain’t getting none of this!
Jake Armstrong: Hi everybody! I’m here to complicate things!
Grandma Jane: Hi Dawn! I want to talk about demons!
Dawn Chamberlain: Hi Jane! Just let me get you a cup of tea and a giant kitchen knife!
Grandma Jane: And I don’t suspect your involvement at all!
Dawn Chamberlain: So… two sugars?
Adam Conant: Yeah, so there’s no way I’m letting Jake patch in, and the vote has to be unanimous.
Cassie Blake: Okay, so two things. One, he’s a part of the circle whether we like it or not. And two, you really need to lay off the Sons of Anarchy marathons.
Diana Meade: Hey guys? Did anyone leave their flaming crescent moon burning on the lawn outside?
Adam Conant: “This is Jake’s fault I have no doubt, so put this stupid fire out!”
Cassie Blake: Hi grandma! Do you know anything about crescent moons?
Grandma Jane: It’s one of Islam’s holiest symbols?
Cassie Blake: What if I told you it was magically burned into the ground outside our creepy cabin?
Grandma Jane: Oh, that crescent moon. It means someone’s trying to kill you. Also, I have rounds now. Bye bye!
Faye Chamberlain: Hi Jake! Don’t you want to do sex to me? Because you can’t! Also, sorry your brother died and stuff. Also also, you’re a dick for lighting our crab grass on fire. Also also also, I’m totally over you.
Dawn Chamberlain: So yeah, Jane knew all about the demon, but it’s cool. I handled her.
Charles Meade: How so?
Dawn Chamberlain: I… didn’t disagree with her when she asked for my help. Ain’t I a badass?
Charles Meade: …
Dawn Chamberlain: Also, we should probably kill her and steal her magic crystal.
Simone: Hi Cassie! I’m here to do murder to you!
Cassie Blake: …I really need to take self-defense classes or something.
Jake Armstrong: “I just heard my neighbor’s cry, and you have tabasco sauce in your eye!”
Cassie Blake: Swoon.
Jake Armstrong: Hi Cassie! I’m a witch and I have a Book of Shadows and I’m older than you and that means you aren’t important to me which probably means you want to sex me even more now and also I have no idea who that crazy bitch is why would you ask something like that?
Grandma Jane: Hi Jake! Would you like some milk and cookies? Or a boot in the ass on your way out the door?
Diana Meade: So Adam, I’ve been thinking-
Adam Conant: RAWR I will destroy you for talking to my fair Cassie!
Cassie Blake: …
Diana Meade: …
Jake Armstrong: Smirk.
Melissa Glaser: I miss being used for sex, insulted, and then thrown out of Nick’s house! Weep.
Diana Meade: So Nick saved Cassie’s life, and he’s a necessary member of the circle, so how about we actually talk to him and stuff?
Adam Conant: Jake Armstrong is a vile lothario with whom I shall never willingly associate!
Faye Chamberlain: He’s also a manwhore, if that changes anyone’s mind.
Grandma Jane: Hi Cassie! I’ve been thinking… it would be awfully convenient if you were able to do magic without phoning one of your less useful compatriots, so… I present you with a Plot Device!
Cassie Blake: Thanks Grandma! This is the shiniest Plot Device I’ve ever seen!
Jake Armstrong: Hi Simone! I know you don’t like me, because you’re a True Believer™, but I think we should work together to rid Chance Harbor of witchcraft! </shocking-development>
Faye Chamberlain: You know what we can do to honor NIck’s memory? Drugs!
Ethan Conant: Nick’s death makes me sad! Almost as sad as the Blackwell incident! Whiskey!
Adam Conant: Hi Jake! I’m sorry about your brother! I’m also sorry that you’re talking to Cassie! Facepunch!
Diana Meade: …I’m starting to wonder if you have feelings for Cassie.
Charles Meade: Hi Jake! Sorry I murdered your brother! I mean, found his body.
Cassie Blake: Hi Jake! You experienced something terrible and ran away, just like my mom experienced something terrible and ran away! That probably means we should do sex to each other!
Jake Armstrong: …Call me when you aren’t a felony.
Diana Meade: Hi Mr. Contant! I brought you tea! To help you sober up!
Ethan Conant: Thanks Diana! It’s really sweet how you love my son and take care of me! Too bad Adam and Cassie are fated to be together. Really. It’s written in the
Faye Chamberlain: Hi Melissa! I’m going to offer you a sweet platitude, right after I get done dancing on this railing. Witch drugs are the best!
Cassie Blake: Hi Adam! Thanks for punching that guy out at his own brother’s funeral in an unasked-for attempt to defend my honor!
Simone: Hi Jake! Knifethrust!
Cassie Blake: “By the power of this magic rock, don’t renew this extra’s contract!”
Jake Armstrong: So… is it just me, or did you magic that knife out of her hands with your brain?
Cassie Blake: …It’s just you.
Cassie Blake: So that girl we just murdered together… it’s funny how friendly you two seemed right up until she tried to shank you.
Jake Armstrong: She… wanted to scavenge dead witch powers or something. Saw it on The Vampire Diariesor whatever.
Cassie Blake: That sounds like bullshit, but… your eyes are so soulful and ernest!
Diana Meade: Hi Adam! I talked to your dad and he said some weird crap about astrology and scripts and doom, and I think I’m going to sleep with Faye. Have fun with Cassie!
Adam Conant: …Yay?
Diana Meade: Hi Cassie! I just told my boyfriend he was all yours! I sure could use a consoling hug!
Cassie Blake: 0_o
Charles Argent: Hi Jake! I’m taking a brief holiday from murdering werewolves to murder a few witches! So how’s operation “Gain Cassie’s Trust And Then Murder Her” coming?
The Plot: Thickens.
Well, Jake certainly is an upgrade to Nick. He’s older, he’s hotter, and he’s evil. And like you all know, I root for the bad guy.
Also? Jake and Cassie have like a billion times more chemistry than Cassie and Adam.
I love how Adam was acting like a super-douche because he thought Jake was creeping on his girl… which was kind of true, except for the part where Cassie isn’t his girl. And massive props to Diana for calling him on it, and then ending things when it became clear that Adam was never going to stop macking on the new girl.
Such is the way with star-crossed lovers.
I like the additional layers to the show’s mythology. Chris Argent is one of the few things I like about Teen Wolf, and I think he’ll be a fine addition to Secret Circle.
I’m not sure how I feel about Cassie being the Circle’s natural-born leader. I mean, from a plotting point of view, it makes sense, but I don’t know that Cassie, as a character, can handle the load. Of course, those are the things that character arcs are made of.
And honestly? I don’t know why so many people are hating on this show. It isn’t as good as The Vampire Diaries, but nothing is as good as The Vampire Diaries.