Previously, on The Secret Circle…
– Creepy Cabin of Coven Craft –
Jake Armstrong: Hi guys! I couldn’t help but notice your crushing lack of chemistry, so I figured I’d do everyone a favor and do a little kissus interruptus!
Adam Conant: Hi Jake! I couldn’t help but notice that the last time we saw you, you were hanging out with a bunch of religious psychos who want us all dead!
Jake Armstrong: Hi Adam! I couldn’t help but notice you’re short, scrawny, lacking in bone structure in the cheek/jaw area, and void of any charisma!
Adam Conant: Don’t you usually lurk in the shadows?
Jake Armstrong: Don’t you usually sex a different girl?
Cassie Blake: Guys guys guys! There’s an easy answer to all of this! Devil’s Threeway!
Jake Armstrong: Wouldn’t we need another man for a D3?
Adam Conant: Sulk.
Jake Armstrong: Anyway, I just dropped by to tell you that you’re safe from the witch hunters, because they’ve realized that your dark magic is too powerful for them to overcome!
Cassie Blake: Yay!
Jake Armstrong: Instead, now you have to worry about the council of witch hunters, who have a ritual designed specifically to murder users of dark magic!
Cassie Blake: Boo!
Jake Armstrong: It worked great the last time they used it, which was sixteen years ago!
Cassie Blake: Poop!
Jake Armstrong: They used it to murder your father!
Cassie Blake: Yeah, I got that. Thanks.
Continue reading »