Thomas Galvin
Purveyor of Fine Pulp Fiction

Triquetra
I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Sergent Shithead: Egads! These beings have mastered the technology necessary to cross interstellar distances, making us look like feces-covered apes who have yet to work out how rubbing two sticks together can create flame! And their homologous morphology suggests either convergent evolution or, perhaps more incredibly, common ancestry!

Ranger Redneck: Homo what? Evolution? Fuck you, science! Guns ‘n’ Jesus, woohoo!

Sergent Shithead: Look, than man is carefully approaching us, hands empty and raised, in what appears to be the universal symbol of “I mean you no harm!”

Ranger Redneck: Holy shit! Better shoot the fuck out of ’em before they steal our wimmins! Are there any kids I can kill? Blam blam blam blam blam blam blam blam blam!


Well, the CW has managed to steal another hour of my week. Honestly, if I could get Time Warner to sell me an “MSNBC and CW and PBS so my wife won’t go into Downton withdrawal” cable package, I would be all over it. On the other hand, this show appears to have nothing to do with Julie Plec, so at least I’m not completely her bitch.

The above is a fairly accurate representation of the opening minutes of the CW’s latest opus. Aliens land. They appear friendly. We shoot the fuck out of ’em anyway, and lock them in internment camps.

Flash forward ten years, and we’re dropped right into an analog of the racial integration of Little Rock Central High School. The aliens, called Atrians, are still living in government-run ghettos, but a new program allows a limited number of them to be bussed to a white human high school. And in case the metaphor was a bit too subtle for you, the aliens are called the Atrian Seven.

Heavy handed? It might seem so. Hell, you might be tempted to call it ridiculous. We’re so much more open minded than we were 57 years ago, right? We would never be that evil to an innocent people, would we?

But then you see the shit that they’re trying to pull in Arizona, the test lab for the Tea Party’s crazy. They are–and this is actually happening, right now, in 2014–trying to pass a law that makes it legal to discriminate against LGBT people because of “sincerely held religious beliefs.” And suddenly, the premis of Star Crossed doesn’t seem all that far fetched.

Our romantic leads are Aimee Teegarden, playing Emery Whitehill, and Matt Lanter as Roman, who are, respectively, Nina Dobrev’s long lost cousin and Cam Gigandet’s slightly more muscular clone. And TVD‘s Malese Jow, in her longest running arc yet, survives the first episode, so that’s cool.

Star Crossed is your basic riff on Romeo and Juliet, but with humans and aliens instead of Montagues and Capulets, but the stars have good chemistry, the sci-fi element is fun, and the social commentary is topical. The Atrian’s special powers, revealed at the end of the episode, are cool, but come at a cost, eliminating a too-easy get out of jail free card.

All in all, a solid premier. Yeah, I think Star Crossed can stick around for a while.