Previously, on The Vampire Diaries…
I, uh … huh. Hmm. Let’s see. Elena and Caroline went to college, and so did Ghost Bonnie? And Elena’s roommate got murdered super quick, because being anywhere around Elena is terribly dangerous? And I guess the college was run by Elena’s adoptive daddy’s bad-guy buddies, and they went around torturing vampires and stuff? And Damon got turned into a bigger monster, but then he got better? And he also found his long-lost best friend, who then killed himself by getting fisted by Stefan? And Katherine
was aweseome went to Hell? And then there were a bunch of Gypsies Travelers who did a whole Invasion of the Body Snatchers thing and took over Mystic Falls? And then they used Elena’s and Stefan’s blood to make magic not a thing anymore? And then everyone died? Except Blondie the Albino Witch did a spell, and Bonnie brought them all back? Except Damon, because he was super tired of this shit? I guess?
Whatever. Alaric is back, so your argument is irrelevant.
Camp Ground of Chaos
Cute Young Guy: Hey there cute young girl, can I interest you in some underage alcohol, followed by some illicit sex!
Cute Young Girl: You sure can! But first we should totally go check out that strange noise!
Cute Young Guy: That sounds like a totally reasonable and not at all dangerous plan!
Cute Young Girl: I sure hope it isn’t a vampire or something! Tee hee!
Sheriff Forbes: Nope! It’s just me, the friendly neighborhood murder hider!
Cute Young Guy: Awesome! I thought we were in real trouble!
The Shadowy Form of a Fanged Former Cheerleader: Rawr!
Sheriff Forbes: Oh well, you guys are on your own! Tee hee!
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