Thomas Galvin
Purveyor of Fine Pulp Fiction

Triquetra
I root for the bad guy.

Previously, on The Secret Circle

– A Quick Glimpse Behind the Scenes –

The Producers: God, did you see how TVD ended?

The Writers: I know, right! It’s bad enough that we have to follow their Plot: Thickening without so much as a commercial break, but now we have follow Damon/Rebekah hatesex? We’re screwed!

The Producers: What are we going to do? What could we do to compete with that?

Phoebe Tonkin: G’day, mates!

Chris Zylka: Sup, guys!

The Producers: …

The Writers: …

Phoebe Tonkin and Chris Zylka: What?

– Ten Minutes Later –

Wink wink wink, nudge nudge nudge

– Chance Harbor High – Psychic Fathers and Stolen Flames –

Cassie Blake: Blah blah blah earth-shaking magic, blah blah blah psychic mumbo-jumbo, I think my Daddy is coming back to either save us from the Witch Hunters or murder us and eat our souls or both!

Diana Meade: Great! Say, Valentine’s day is a bit rough for me this year, since you stole my boyfriend and all … wanna come over to my house and do shots with me until I forget all about it?

Cassie Blake: Boy do I!

– Chance Harbor High – Ride ‘Em Hard, Put ‘Em Away Wet –

Melissa Glaser: I hate Valentine’s day! Being alone sucks!

Faye Chamberlain: Right? Kind of like how I slept with Jake last night, and did all of those naughty things guys never think a girl will actually do, and then I did even naughtier things that he’d never even heard of, and then I gave him a quickie when we woke up, and then I left him all alone in his bed, no small talk, no cuddling, no emotional attachment at all! I bet he’s devastated right now!

Melissa Glaser: Yep, You sure won that little exchange. I don’t know how he’s going to recover.

Faye Chamberlain: Exactly! So who wants to have a horror movie marathon at my place tonight, and watch some hearts literally getting ripped out of people’s chests?

Cassie Blake: Oh, I do!

Diana Meade: Me, too!

Faye Chamberlain: …As long as you don’t talk about Adam. Jesus, I am so sick of hearing about Adam.

The Audience: …Can she hear us? Because that’s kind of creepy.

Cassie Blake: Okay, I have to go get my textbook! I’ll see you guys in class!

Diana Meade: …

Melissa Glaser: …

Faye Chamberlain: …

Cassie Blake, Diana Meade, Melissa Glaser, and Faye Chamberlain: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

– Chance Harbor High – Parking Lot of Painful Love Stories –

Adam Conant: Hi Cassie! We should go out! Like on a date! Because of our amazing chemistry together!

Cassie Blake: Checks the script.Yes. Yes we should. Because of all the chemistry. The chemistry that we share. Yes.

Micky the Murder Monk: Hi Cassie! You can’t see me because I’m a ghost or invisible or whatever, but… BOO!

The Lady of the Manor: Dude’s gonna get hit by a car if he keeps standing there.

– Chamberlain Chamber of Horrors –

Lee LaBeque: Hi Faye! Sorry I never made you an all-powerful witch, but I brought you a voodoo stick! Just put it in your bed and you’ll wake up feeling full of power!

Faye Chamberlain: Yeah, sorry, but Jake already gave me his voodoo stick, and this time I didn’t even wake up with a rash.

– Armstrong Apartments – Why Pick a Side When You Can Play Both –

Chris Argent: Hi Jake! I’m here for a heart to heart!

Jake Armstrong: Hi Chris! You lied about my parents, and your friends are responsible for my parent’s deaths! To that regard: facepunch!

Chris Argent: But Jake! John Blackwell orchestrated the whole thing! He knew the Circle was going to recant their magic, and decided to slaughter them all in order to steal their power!

Jake Armstrong: That’s a great story! I think I’m going to murder you a little now!

Chris Argent: Or, you could bring me the Mayhem Medallion. You know, because I’ve been so trustworthy in the past.

Jake Armstrong: …Okay!

– Creepy Cabin of Coven Craft –

Micky the Murder Monk: Hi Cassie! I’m visible now! Boo!

Cassie Blake: Screams, runs, has great cardio.

Thomas: Honey? You can murder people with your brain. Running should not be your first instinct.

Adam Conant: Cassie! What’s wrong?

Cassie Blake: There’s a … guy … downstairs. Kind of … standing there. He’s wearing the same robes my father had on when the Witch Hunters tried to kill him!

Adam Conant: Wow, really? Who do you think it is?

Cassie Blake: …Dunno.

Adam Conant: Me, either.

Cassie Blake: We should go get pizza!

Adam Conant: I love pizza!

Cassie Blake: Me, too! It’s like we’re soul mates!

– Chamberlain Chamber of Horrors – Lesbian Slumber Party –

Diana Meade: Hi Faye! I brought all of my clothes over in case I have a wardrobe emergency! Also, I broke your magic voodoo stick!

Faye Chamberlain: That’s funny, because I broke Jake’s magic voodoo stick earlier this morning!

Melissa Glaser: Guys! Stop fighting! You should be cool and relaxed and mellow the way I am when I snort a line of this… herbal … supplement … thingie.

Diana Meade: Well, since that herbal supplement thingie doesn’t look exactly like a bag of coke, I’m in! Snort!

The Lady of the Manor: That’s Faye’s bedroom? Her mother is a high school principle.

– Armstrong Apartments – Sexy Symbologist –

Jake Armstrong: Hi Cassie! I’ve been looking into that symbol you saw on that dead guy’s robe! It’s the family crest of the Nadaros clan, and it means “we’re going to return from the grave, take over your boyfriend’s body, threaten various vague harms, and then go away impotently!”

Cassie Blake: Sounds thrilling!

– Chamberlain Chamber of Horrors – Spells of Summoning Smootches –

Diana Meade: What do you want to do tonight!

Melissa Glaser: I don’t know, but let’s take off our pants!

Diana Meade: Okay! And then let’s cast a spell to get a pizza for free!

Faye Chamberlain: Seriously? I could do that by opening two or three buttons.

Thomas: Desperately wants a Damon/Faye crossover episode.

Diana Meade: Okay, better idea! Let’s summon the hottest guy imaginable, and then I’ll make out with him!

Lee LaBeque: Ladies? You called?

Faye Chamberlain: Stupid circle magic. Can’t open a locker, can’t turn Cassie into a frog, can’t summon a hot guy… so Lee, can you fix the-

Diana Meade: SMOOTCH!

Faye Chamberlain: Voodoo stick?

– Grandma’s Gingerbread House – Grim Gathering –

Diana Meade (via text message): Bitch hurry!

Cassie Blake: Well that’s-

The Murder Medallion: Don’t mind me, I’m just going to walk myself off the table and out that window over there for no reason at all and certainly not because there’s a pair of reincarnated slaughter sorcerers or anything!

Cassie Blake: -odd.

– Chamberlain Chamber of Horrors – Phallic Favors –

Lee LaBeque: So I can’t help but notice that your friends are hopped up on a mind-erasing devil drug…

Faye Chamberlain: Yeah yeah yeah, your precious girlfriend got a legerdemain lobotomy from your magic mushrooms, cry me a river. And then when your done airing out your precious feelings, can you fix the voodoo stick for me?

Lee LaBeque: Baby? I will make a my voodoo stick into a solid shaft any time you want.

– Chamberlain Chamber of Horrors – I Kissed a Boy and He Liked It –

Pauly the Pizza Guy: Hi guys, I’ve got a large-

Diana Meade: SMOOTCH!

Pauly the Pizza Guy: -Erection.

Cassie Blake: Ooookay, so I’m gonna-

Melissa Glaser: Do a line of coke because coke is awesome I love coke coke is my new best friend coke coke coke wheeee!

Cassie Blake: This is going to be a long, long night.

– Chance Harbor – Docks of Doom –

Jake Armstrong: Hi Chris! I can’t help but wonder at the fact that a bunch of dead witches are haunting Chance Harbor in general, and my little blond love bug in particular! Any chance killing you would fix this problem?

Chris Argent: Nope! You see, John Blackwell murdered the Nadaros clan, and like a bajillion other witches, and once she activated his Murder Medallion, it started drawing their damned souls toward her!

Jake Armstrong: You’re sure killing you wont fix this problem? Because I’d really like to kill you.

– Chamberlain Chamber of Horrors – Scary Stories to Tell in the Well Lit Room –

Cassie Blake: And then … I walked downstairs, each step creaking like the bones of a hanged criminal, and then … I found myself in a room as dark as a murderer’s soul, and then … I saw a ghost! And it wasn’t just any ghost! It was a ghost … with bad fashion sense!

Faye Chamberlain: Ooh, I love scary stories! Let me tell one! Once upon a time there was this really hot girl, so hot that everyone in the school either wanted to be her, or be with her, or both! But then one day a little blonde troll showed up, and everyone started fawning over her for no reason at all! And the hot girl was sad and lonely, and she sought ways to be the center of attention again! But the writers saddled her with a lame voodoo drug plot, and a lame voodoo priest love interest! But then she slept with the hottest guy on the show, and it looked like everything was turning around! But then … the lame ass voodoo priest came back to haunt her character arc once more!

Diana Meade: Yeah, I like Cassie’s story better.

Melissa Glaser: Me, too.

Faye Chamberlain: Oh you can all go to hell.

– Chamberlain Chamber of Horrors – Seance of Sorrow –

Cassie Blake: Hey, do you guys want to use a devil board and my father’s Murder Medallion to contact the evil spirits that are probably trying to murder me?

Everyone Else: That’s a great idea!

The Ouija Board: Y o u a r e g o i n g t o d i e a s l o w a n d p a i n f u l d e a t h !

Faye Chamberlain: Wait, what did it say?

Cassie Blake: I think it said “You’re going to Des Moines, Iowa”!

Diana Meade: No, silly! It said “You’re going to seem low and plain!”

Faye Chamberlain: Guys? It clearly said “You should get a butch hair cut and wear clothes that hide your figure and also find a way to give all of your powers to a hot brunette not named Diana.” Right? Right?

Diana Meade: I want pizza!

Melissa Glaser: Coke? Who said coke? I’ve got your coke right here! Wheee!

– Chamberlain Chamber of Horrors – Tender Texts –

Adam Conant (via text message): U OK 🙂

Cassie Blake (via text message): No 🙁

Adam Conant (via text message): Wanna come over? I’ll comfort u. W my penis. 🙂

Cassie Blake (via text message): …

Adam Conant (via text message): 8===D <- very very comforting

– Chamberlain Chamber of Horrors –

The Door: Ding dong!

Faye Chamberlain: Did you sluts order another hot pizza guy?

Thomas: Loves Faye.

Jake Armstrong: Hi Faye! No time for hatesex, I have to save a pixie from a ghost!

Melissa Glaser: You’re not a hot pizza guy! And the only ghosts around here are the ghosts of Adam’s virginity. Because Cassie is over driving a stake in it as we speak.

Faye Chamberlain: Technically, isn’t it Adam driving a stake into Cassie?

Jake Armstrong: …I need to brood right now, but I also have to rush over to prevent an apocalypse. Could you go me a favor and imagine me scowling at you for the next ten minutes or so? Thanks.

– Chance Harbor – Highway to Hell –

The Murder Medallion: Super Cassie choking jeep flipping night wrecking powers activate!

Cassie Blake: It’s okay! I didn’t hurt anything important! Just my head!

– Adam’s Love Boat – SS Cock Block –

Adam Conant: Let’s see … rose petals, Celine Deon CD, enough candles to keep the Bennets busy for a month, oysters, chocolate covered strawberries, fresh sheets on the air mattress …

Jake Armstrong: Hi Adam! Cassie’s in imminent mortal danger again! Let’s go for a ride!

Adam Conant: … And a knife to ram into that cock-blocking son of a whoring Avon sales rep’s heart.

– Chance Harbor – Highway to Hell –

Cassie Blake: Hey look! A bunch of murderous hellghosts! I better run after them!

– Chamberlain Chamber of Horrors – Frustrating Phone Calls –

Adam Conant (on the phone): Hi Diana! I’m with Jake, and we’re both looking for Cassie!

Diana Meade (on the phone): No. You know what? Maybe she found a third boyfriend, or maybe she was eaten by the Ghost of Valentine’s Day Past, or maybe she turned into a black hole so the universe could literally revolve around her, but I don’t care. I have a hot pizza, a bag of coke, and a vibrator, and I am going to spend the rest of Valentine’s day the way God intended. Good day, sir. I said good day.

– Chamberlain Chamber of Horrors – Handling the High –

Faye Chamberlain: I love Melissa best!

Diana Meade: No I love Melissa best!

Faye Chamberlain: I love her infinity times a million!

Diana Meade: I love her infinity times a million plus one!

Melissa Glaser: Guys? Kind of ODing here, could use a little help.

Faye Chamberlain and Diana Meade: Shut up!

– Chance Harbor – Highway to Hell –

Adam Conant: Look, Cassie’s van is lying upside down in the road! Do you think the dead witches did this?

Jake Armstrong: ..No. I’m pretty sure a bunny ran out in front of her and she drove her jeep over that conveniently placed ramp to avoid it.

Adam Conant: Well that’s a relief!

– Chance Harbor – Sacred Heart Church of the Immaculate Murder –

Cassie Blake: Look! A bunch of creepy ghosts standing around a creepy building! It’s almost like they want me to go in there! And since ghosts are well-known masters of reverse psychology, that obviously means they’re trying to keep me out! Well the joke’s on you, ghosts! Because into that church I am headed!

– Chamberlain Chamber of Horrors – Dungeon of Detox –

Melissa Glaser: WHARF!

Faye Chamberlain: I can’t believe you did those drugs with her!

Melissa Glaser: WRETCH!

Diana Meade: I can’t believe you introduced them to her!

Melissa Glaser: PUKE!

Faye Chamberlain: Well I can’t believe you didn’t watch after her!

Melissa Glaser: BLARGH!

Diana Meade: Well I can’t believe you let her do them on an empty stomach!

Melissa Glaser: Kill me.

– Chance Harbor – Sacred Heart Church of the Immaculate Murder –

Cassie Blake: All right you ghosts! Hurry up and manifest so I can kick your non-corporeal asses!

The Ghosts of Witches Past: Actually, we need a body to inhabit before we can do anything to you.

Adam Conant: Hi, guys! …Why is everyone staring at me?

The Ghosts of Witches Past: No reason, we just want your tight little body.

Adam Conant: Why, I am aghast at the suggestion!

The Ghosts of Witches Past: Oh, no, not for anything dirty. We just want to possess you, murder your girlfriend, steal her power, and unleash hell on earth.

Adam Conant: That’s it! Stand back, or I shall inflict greivious harm on you with this three inch pocket knife!

Jake Armstrong: … I heard it was small, but three inches? Damn, bro.

The Lady of the Manor: Wait, he has a knife? He deserves to die.

Thomas: I have a knife. Lots of them.

The Lady of the Manor: You’re not trying to fight the disembodied spirits of a dozen dead witches.

Thomas: …Not that you know of.

Brian Cummings: LOL Look who brought a knife to an unlimited witch power gun fight! #AdamTooDumbToLive

The Lady of the Manor: RIGHT?

– Sacred Heart Church of the Immaculate Murder – Service Sunday 11AM, Possession Thursdays 9PM –

The Ghosts of Witches Past (via Adam Conant): Hi guys! Sorry about the smoker’s cough, but you wouldn’t believe how polluted the air is in hell. Anyway, we’d just love to get that medallion, and our reality-shaping powers, back, and if you don’t give it to us, we’ll cut this little twerp’s wrist right in front of you!

Thomas: Down the road, not across the street. Amateurs.

Jake Armstrong: So Cassie? That medallion contains the power of roughly a fuckton of dead witch’s powers, and if you give it to these Undertaker wannabes? Probably not going to be a good thing. Especially since it was your father that murdered them and stole their power, and their first order of business will be to take revenge on his progeny.

Cassie Blake: How do you know that?!?

Jake Armstrong: …Because I’ve been a witch hunter for the last five years? Because I have more occult knowledge than the rest of you combined? Because I have tea with Chris Argent every Saturday? Jesus, why does my knowing things still surprise you?

Cassie Blake: Whatever! Bored now! You’ve left me no choice but to crush the medallion with my bare hand!

The Ghosts of Witches Past (via Adam Conant): Curses! We knew we shouldn’t have purchased our all-powerful talisman at Hot Topic!

Adam Conant: Wow, if getting possessed and almost suicided by your girlfriend’s father’s enemies doesn’t get me laid, nothing will!

– Chance Harbor – Docks of Doom –

Jake Armstrong: Hi Chris! I bought you the shards of the Murder Medallion! Cassie destroyed it with her … tiny little hand, actually,

Chris Argent: You fool! You have (vague hints and rumors about something bad coming blah blah blah)!

Jake Armstrong: I am so going to kill you. Right after I run to Arby’s for a Tastee Freeze!

Chris Argent: Your anger makes you weak, Jake. I can’t help you any more.

The Lady of the Manor: Much anger I sense in him. Strong, the dark side is.

– Chamberlain Chamber of Horrors –

Faye Chamberlain: Well, Melissa is still alive and Diana is taking care of her … let’s see what this voodoo stick can do!

Diana Meade: Faye, can you-

Faye Chamberlain: Don’t come in here!

– Lee LaBeque’s HooDoo Hideout –

Lee LaBeque: Let’s see … voodoo soul stick, dollop of Faye’s blood, girlfriend in a coma because of hoodoo hemp … tonight’s gonna be awesome!

Thomas: Would like to point out that he called the whole “don’t let anyone have your blood, particularly a voodoo priest” thing.

– Chamberlain Chamber of Horrors –

Melissa Glaser: I think Lee like you!

Faye Chamberlain: Yeah, no, I am done with guys.

Diana Meade: Woohoo!

Team Fayana: Yes!

Faye Chamberlain: …W. T. F.

– Adam’s Love Boat – Love is in the Air – Somewhere, Anyway –

Adam Conant: So Cassie, this is the Valentine’s day episode … wanna pretend to have some chemistry?

Cassie Blake: Yeah, I guess. Wooden smootch!

Adam Conant: Awkward response!

Cassie Blake: I’d rather be kissing Jake!

Adam Conant: Me, too!

Cassie Blake: Wait, what?

– Chance Harbor – Docks of Doom –

John Blackwell: Wow, this sure is a pretty ocean view! It almost makes me not want to end the world in an orgy of demonic violence! Almost!

The Plot: Thickens.

– Post Mortem –

I love Jake and Faye. They’re hot, they have chemistry, they kinda hate each other and kinda love hate sex, neither of them really has the upper hand on the other … it’s pretty much perfect. I just can’t settle on my shipper name: Fake? Fayke? Jaye? I’m not sure yet.

I do have a confession to make, however. The Lady does not love them, because she doesn’t think Jake is particularly attractive. That makes me doubt myself, because she clearly has no taste in men, but she married me. Frownyface.

I’m glad the ship has sailed on Lee/Faye, and that Lee has (predictably) turned out to be a bad guy. For one, this means there’s a Faye-centric story coming up, and two, it’s going to be all kinds of fun watching Faye kick Lee’s scrawny, scruffy ass.

I’m glad the Murder Medallion is gone. I didn’t have a problem with it, per se, it’s just that destroying it hints at a TVD-style plot churn. I’m glad they had the balls to say “you know what? We don’t need this particular McGuffin, we have other stories to tell.”

Diana needs to get laid. I don’t care if it’s by the pizza guy or by Faye, but she needs to get her a little something something. I am glad that she finally vocalized how sick she is of everybody fawning over Cassie. Cassie suffers from Elena/Sookie syndrome … the center of everybody’s attention because that’s what the plot demands, and I’m glad there are people around to express the audience’s disbelief.

The whole voodoo slumber party was kind of fun, though … I could totally see magic-having teenagers using their mojo to get hot guys to kiss them. And Faye’s line about undoing a couple of buttons was, of course, awesome.

The Ghosts of Witches Past felt a little monster-of-the-week, but it did give us a bit of character/mythology development regarding John Blackwell. The Witch Hunters are still the bad guys, but now it’s also pretty apparent (if there was any doubt) that Blackwell is also a bad guy.

Of course, that raises the question of what he’s doing in Chance Harbor. I don’t know, but I bet is has nothing to do with stealing the Circle’s magic and obtaining unlimited power!

Adam and Cassie are inert elements. You put them together, apply heat, and … nothing happens. But as long as they keep giving me Fayke, I honestly don’t care.

On to the next episode!

0 responses to “Secret Circle – S01E14 – Valentine”

  1. sepiriz47 says:

    I’m pretty close to giving up on this series.

  2. Heather (ecotwin1) says:

    Faye is the best thing about this show right now. Well, her and vneck-wearing, or better yet, naked-in-bed Jake. My thoughts are scattered right now because I have been reading this recap for like 30 minutes because my 8 yr old is relentlessly clamoring for my attention. I still don’t love this show, but I am holding out hope that it gains in momentum and depth. Until then, I shall enjoy the show’s opening/closing theme song, my girl-crush on Faye, and my appropriate crush on Jake, whom I can’t believe the Lady does NOT find attractive?!!
    I wish there had been these types of shows back in the late 70s/early 80s during my horror addiction phase (read “Amityville Horror” as a 3rd grader, then moved on to John Saul and Stephen King!). But at least my inner teen can enjoy them now with the appreciation of a “wiser” adult 😉

  3. Jamie says:

    This recap is totally hilarious and I’m STILL laughing. I feel like Cassie is a HORRIBLE fucking friend too. Diana has been the nicest to her, she has been the best, and Cassie basically was like oops no you’re Diana’s ex but by the following week was swooning all over Adam. Adam is such a boring character, I’d rather see more of Melissa on coke than to see Adam pining over Cassie. Jake and Faye are theeee best. Diana has her moments of awesomeness like calling out Adam and the fuckery of how all the guys want Cassie, and a few other times she’s been awesome too.

  4. Ellyria says:

    Adam waving his little pocket knife at the Ghost!Witches made my day. What an idiot.

    For Adam and Cassie being “written in the stars”, they’re very… boring. Like Bonnie and Jeremy boring. Like fast forward through all their scenes because I can save those precious minutes for the Old Republic boring. *yawn* And doesn’t it seem like Adam’s trying a little too hard? I mean, a couple episodes ago he was desperately trying to get Diana back, now he’s throwing himself at Cassie at every turn, and trying to make everything super romantic? I wouldn’t be surprised if he bought out the flower shop and pulled out the fine china when asking Cassie to come over for pizza.

    *high-fives the Lady* I do not find Chris Zylka attractive either.

    Is it wrong that I found High!Diana hilarious? Especially her phone call with Adam? She and Faye are the best things about this show (other than Gale Harold), so they need better storylines, please?

    Speaking of Gale Harold, why couldn’t Charles have been fighting over the crystals with Ethan and Dawn for a few scenes? The storyline is so sad it makes me lol but I <3 Gale Harold.

  5. Mary says:

    Surprisingly good episode. Loved the scene in the church. Finally this show is getting the right forward momentum. Also loved Faye and Jake. Diana and Melissa high was also hilarious.

  6. Kiana says:

    The Secret Circle is getting stupid and lame.
    If it wasn’t for your recaps, I would’ve gave up already.
    The possession scene was laaaaaaame! And I was playing Megajump on my phone the whole time!
    Anyways, I meant: “great recap! You’re the only reason I endure Cassie and Adam!”

  7. The_Void says:

    Decent episode, thanks to the Diana/Faye/Melissa scenes. And just them – I fast-forwarded through most of the rest. Really could not care less about Adam/Cassie/Jake drama. Or the horribly lame witch hunter plot. Actually you know what, Faye and Diana are literally the only good things about this show. They are ten times more interesting than any other part of the show. The show would be a lot better if they were the only characters. (And I wouldn’t say no to them hooking up either. Jake/Faye is awful. Fayana or GTFO).

  8. Thomas says:

    Hi Everyone,

    Busy weekend. I’ll try to at least get started on responses some time tonight, but the majority of them will probably have to wait until Monday. Thanks for stopping by and leaving your thoughts!

  9. Chellacat says:

    Hi Thomas, great recap as always.

    I agree with The Lady though, Jake kinda leaves me cold he’s not hot like Damon or even Stefan (who is NMT), as for Adam, he might get interesting to look at in another decade or so. 🙂

    I do like pairing him with Faye, they have weird chemistry, its oddly attractive.

    But my biggest nit pick with this eppy has got to be WTF happened to the power of the thousand dead witches from the Medalion of Meyhem? Cassie crushed it to powder with her tiny inefectual little fist and her hand was all bloody too, so did she absorbe the power herself or use her own magic and blood to destroy the Medalion of Meyhem and then the power went where exactly? Dissapated and became one with the earth? The gohsts of the dead witched got it back? Or 3rd some mysterious still to be used future plot device?
    I really felt like reaching through the screen and shaking the characters till they spilled the beans, they didnt even dwell on it for a second. They didnt even question how Cassie had crushed a oiece of metal to DUST!! Is she secretly a terminator, should John Conner…. um sorry, Adam, be worried about this?

    Diana Meade: Yeah, I like Cassie’s story better.

    Melissa Glaser: Me, too.

    Faye Chamberlain: Oh you can all go to hell.

    I loved this it’s almost like Sunnydale syndrome only here its Cassie’s Mind Whammy Retcon, only Faye seems to be imune to her charms, lol.

    Looking forward to next weeks recaps !

    P.S. Fake is the perfect shipper name for them!

  10. Thomas says:

    Hi sepiriz47,

    I’m not ready to give up, but I recognize the show for what it is. TSC is TVD’s kid sister; she’s got braces and freckles and she’s kind of awkward, but all the boys are hoping she’s more interesting to look at after the summer.

  11. Thomas says:

    Hi Heather,

    Yeah, for me this show is largely “other stuff happens until Faye is back on the screen”, though I do still get a kick out of it when Cassie goes all dark side. She’s adorably evil.

    We are living in a bit of a golden age for this type of show. TVD is king of the hill, but we’ve also got TSC, TB, Teen Wolf, Grimm, OUAT, Supernatural … and some of those shows are even good!

  12. Thomas says:

    Hi Jamie,

    Actually, this show seems to be unfolding in real-time, as we’re watching. Like, it was the start of the semester when the show began, and they had a Halloween party at the end of October, and a V-Day party this week … so really, Cassie and Adam have been doing the Tepid Tango for months now, not just a week or two. And in high school, especially a smallish high school like Chance Harbor seems to be, I think that’s fairly reasonable. What’s odd is that everyone is trying to remain friends with everyone else.

    Diana on magic coke was fun to watch, and I am glad she finally called out Adam on his douchebaggery.

  13. Thomas says:

    Hi Ellyria,

    It is funny how little magic gets tossed around on this show about witches. Hold on, lemme stab the ghost with a pocket knife, that ought to work.

    In real life I could actually see Adam and Cassie falling for each other, They’re both generically attractive and have the same kind of personalities. It’s just that they’re not the type of people I think you can hang an entire show off of.

    Diana was pretty fun whilest on magic coke. Too bad it looks like that’s run its course.

    I don’t think they know where they want to go with the adults and the crystals.

  14. Thomas says:

    Hi Mary,

    This was a pretty good episode, and I’m glad they’re finally getting to the meat of the Balcoin drama.

  15. Thomas says:

    Hi Kiana,

    I’ll let the CW know they owe me royalties 😉

  16. Thomas says:

    Hi The_Void,

    Faye is golden, and the other two are better when they’re playing off of her. I like Jake, so I’ll watch him try to woe Cassie, but she doesn’t elevate him the way Faye does. Also, Faye Faye Faye.

  17. Thomas says:

    Hi Chellacat,

    I don’t think Jake is Damon-level either, but he’s easily the best guy part of TSC. Not that there’s all that much competition. And I do like the way he and Faye love to hate each other.

    Good point, regarding the power stored in the medallion. Unfortunately I don’t know that TSC is tightly-written enough that we can count on this being addressed. On TVD, they at least would have thrown in a line about how the magic was absorbed into the aether or something.

    Faye acting as the voice of the audience may be my favorite part of the show.

  18. The_Void says:

    Hey Thomas,

    I’ll be honest, I don’t like Jake. I don’t dislike him, he just does nothing for me. He’s supposed to be this “bad boy” but he doesn’t actually do anything. I expect “bad boys” to be a bit reckless and fun and unpredictable, Jake just sits around and angsts. And falls in love with Cassie (as everyone does) in about 5 seconds. Which brings me to my problem with Jake/Faye – I love Faye, and I want to watch every second she’s on screen. But I also really want to skip every scene Jake is in. You see my conundrum? I don’t think Faye elevates Jake at all, Jake just drags her down. The only Jake interactions I’ve kinda enjoyed so far is him and Adam. It would be cool if they developed a Spike/Angel-style bromance, but the show will probably just keep them fighting over Cassie instead. Bleh.

    Phoebe Tonkin makes any scene watchable, but as with any talented actress, she’s at her best playing off another talented actor. IMO, Shelley Hennig and JPK (and Gale Harold) are the only other actors in the cast worth a damn. That’s why, for me, Diana is comfortably the second-best character on the show and Melissa I think has potential if she was given a proper storyline. That’s why IMO the Faye/Diana/Melissa scenes have been the strongest part of the show. Also Charles needs a better plotline than being cockteased by Dawn.

  19. Thomas says:

    Hi Void,

    I’m not going to get off Team Fayke, but an Angel/Spike brohatemance between Jake and Adam would be fun … and they kind of went that direction in this episode, a little bit. I think the seeds for it are there, anyway.

    Faye/Diana are probably the strongest actors teenager-wise. It would be fun to see more of them, and maybe more of them interacting with their parents. I really hope this whole “oh by the way we’re evil and using you to get our powers back” thing blows open soon.

  20. SoccerMom says:

    Only 2 reasons I can think of to watch this show: 1) some kind of weird loyalty to Kevin Williamson to whom I owe so much due to TVD, and 2) I get to laugh out loud while reading your recaps. Actually, third might be seeing Jake in his boxer briefs, but that doesn’t happen often enough to really warrant watching on it’s own. Frownyface.

  21. Thomas says:

    Thanks SoccerMom 🙂

    In his recap, Price pointed out that this is actually Jake’s first episode as a member of the normal credit-scroll, *and* his first underwear scene. So the smart money is on him stripping down more often.

  22. Neil says:

    Hey Thomas,

    I was going to say I didn’t think this show is worthy of your recapping talents…..but then I remembered you heroically (or was that masochisticly) recaped Teen Wolf and TB season 4 and this show, despite it faults, isn’t that bad.

    I could spend ages on what’s going wrong with it but I don’t think you need to go any further than watching a couple of scenes of Adam/Cassie. If only they weren’t the official couple on the show. I watched a couple of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicle episodes and I have to say I’m not overwhelmed by Thomas Dekker. That said he still gave me the best scene of the episode with him brandishing his little knife – the writers really don;t like him much do they.

  23. Thomas says:

    Hi Neil,

    Yeah, Teen Wolf. Any time I think my life sucks, I remind myself that I write about Teen Wolf, and I remember … it’ll get worse. And it’s a 22 episode season this year!

    The knife was just hilarious. It’s like they’re grasping at things to make him a baddass … or an idiot. It’s hard to tell which.

    Honestly, I like this show. It’s not TVD, but nothing is. It has enough good moments to keep me interested, and not enough bad moments to turn me off.

  24. Neil says:

    It’s not awful by any means and I’ve watched and (sort of) enjoyed shows that are a hell of alot worse than TSC. It does have its pluses but at the moment it feels, to me at least, like those first few episodes of TVD before they had their rethink and it got good. I’m just waiting for TSC to kick up a notch and maybe Blackwell showing up will be what the show needs. I’m still not sure I’m going to warm to Cassie or Adam though, and I’m getting the impression I’m supposed to care. If Blackwell should happen to murder Adam with Adam’s little pocket knife in some of bloody ritual to the dark powers while Cassie watches helplessly then I might be in for the long haul. No promises though.

    Blimey, 22 episodes of Teen Wolf. Good luck with that.

  25. nvo says:

    Okay Diana’s behavior made me want to snort some of that devil’s spirit stuff.

    There’s something powerful about chemistry. When Stefan and Damon were fawning over Elena in season 2 I was not rolling my eyes the way I was in this episode. Cassie and Adam have no chemistry what so ever and I’m sure Jake would be hotter if he were more…hot. Does that make sense?

  26. Thomas says:

    Hi Neil,

    TSC feels like a 12-episode season stretched out to a 22-episode length. There’s just not enough story to fill this many shows. And I agree, TSC needs the same kind of rethink – I like that term, it wasn’t a rebot, but a mid-course correction – that TVD had.

    If Blackwell murdered Adam I would stand up and cheer. Or if Adam murdered Blackwell. Either is good for me. But leave Faye alone. Anyone touches Faye and I will cut a bitch.

    And yeah, 22 episodes. Buy stock in Tequila Rose, because they’re going to experience a boom this summer.

  27. Thomas says:

    Hi nvo,

    Yeah, chemistry can do a lot to overcome even bad writing. A love story where the two actors ain’t got nothin’ goin’ on, though … I believe that Damon wants Elena, or that he wants to screw Rebekah’s brains out. I don’t believe in Cassie/Adam the same way.

    I think Jake’s dialog needs a little tweeking. They’re writing him as a kid trying to be a badass. “The vengeance that I see is what you have given me” or whatever he said to Chris Argent this week. It’s just stilted. “This is all your fault” would have worked much better.

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