Thomas Galvin
Purveyor of Fine Pulp Fiction

Triquetra
The best revenge is massive success. -Frank Sinatra

Previously, on The Vampire Diaries

- A Quick Glimpse Behind the Scenes -

The Producers: Last week was fantastic! Salvatore skin! Flamethrowers! Fanservice! There’s just one thing… Team Elijah is getting a bit… restless.

The Writers: Hmm…

The Producers: Also, those heart rips are really popular…

The Writers: So… Elijah, heart rips… I think we have an idea…

- Double Wide of Doom -

Brady the Were-Douche: Found another one! This one had his spleen removed through his nostriles!

Jules: Well that’s special. Anyway, toss him on the camp fire funereal pyre with the rest of them.

Stevie the Were-Pup: Hey, you know how Mason was banging that hot vampire chick? And how he was looking for the Moon Rock? And how there’s a really old vampire with a really powerful witch that seems way less lame now that he can cast Inflict Pain as a field effect? Well, when you put that all together…

Jules: You mean… they’re trying to use a Lame Ass Ritual to break the Lame Ass Curse!

Brady the Were-Douche: No way! It’s our turn to be murdered by a vampire perform a Lame Ass Ritual!

- Chateau Forbes – Supernatural Lesbian Slumber Party -

Elena Gilbert (on the phone): Hi Stefan! Slumber parties are great and it was the best idea you ever had and Caroline is totally over the whole torture thing now and I was thinking if sharing a bed can magically make all of your problems go away we should have a slumber party because we have a lot of problems like an uncle who’s also my daddy but in a weird “I’m not going to tell them” kind of a way and not in an “I’m going to knock up my sister” kind of way and I don’t want to deal with any of that so let’s go camping yay!

Stefan Salvatore: Wait, you all slept in the same bed?

- Castle Salvatore -

Andie Star: Thanks for the sexy times, Damon! And thanks for not killing me! I’ve got to go interview Elijah Smith.

Damon Salvatore: Lamest. Pseudonym. Ever. Anyway… loooook into my eyyyyyyyyyyes! </dracula>

Andie Star: Oh and by the way you didn’t bite me and you didn’t drink my blood and I think I’m in love with you!

Alaric Saltzman: I’m in this episode!

Damon Salvatore: That’s my new girlfriend! Andie Star, Action News!

Alaric Saltzman: It’s… not called Action News.

Damon Salvatore: I know, I just like saying it! Anyway, Uncle John Gilbert gave me this Dagger of Vampire Death and this White Oak Dust of Woe and it’s supposed to kill Elijah. Legit: Y/N?

Alaric Saltzman: Beats me. My vampire ex-wife was the brains of the outfit. I’m just the guy who builds pneumatic stake launchers. Anyway, don’t go killing Elijah at the tea party, okay?

Damon Salvatore: Please! Like I’d kill him before I tortured the truth out of him. It’s like you people don’t trust me or something.

- Mystic Pizza Grill -

Caroline Forbes: Hi Bonnie! So tell me about your big plan to find out what Elijah’s up to!

Bonnie Bennet: I’m going to kidnap Luka and brain-rape him!

Caroline Forbes: That sounds like fun! Oh, hi Matt!

Matt Donovan: Eff you, Caroline!

Caroline Forbes: D-:

- Double Wide of Doom -

Tyler Lockwood: Hi Jules! Weren’t you supposed to get the eff out of town?

Jules: We’re totes going to, but…

Brady the Were-Douche: We need to strong-arm you into something first!

Stevie the Were-Pup: You see… super exposition explaining the Lame Ass Curse of Mild Inconvenience powers activate!

Tyler Lockwood: Seriously? That’s the plot for this season? All right, let’s go kidnap a doppelganger.

Jules: Great! Do you know this girl?

Tyler Lockwood: Yeah! That’s Elena! I’ve got a picture of her on my bedroom ceiling!

Jules: …

Tyler Lockwood: It’s really good quality, for being taken from the bushes!

- Mystic Pizza Grill -

Caroline Forbes: Hi Matt! Sorry I missed our date last night!

Matt Donovan: Hi Caroline! Sorry you’re a lying little tramp!

Tyler Lockwood: Hi Caroline! Sorry I have to steal your phone so I can steal your BFF!

Matt Donovan: Angry pout!

- The Gilbert House of Romantic Escapes -

Caroline Forbes Tyler Lockwood Elena Gilbert (on Elena Gilbert’s Product Placement iPhone): Hi Elena it’s Caroline help help help help help everything sucks and I’m going to die where are you help!

Elena Gilbert’s (on her Product Placement iPhone): Headed 2 lake w Stefan’s abs. Where r u?

Caroline Forbes Tyler Lockwood Elena Gilbert (on Elena Gilbert’s Product Placement iPhone): K guys she’s at her parent’ cabin on the lake we can totes snatch her there!

Elena Gilbert’s (on her Product Placement iPhone): wait, what?

Caroline Forbes Tyler Lockwood Elena Gilbert (on Elena Gilbert’s Product Placement iPhone): Um… wrong person! Nevermind, totally not Tyler, and totally not going to kidnap you!

Elena Gilbert’s (on her Product Placement iPhone): Ok! xoxo

- The Log Cabin of Lethality -

Elena Gilbert: OMG I haven’t been here since my parents died!

Stefan Salvatore: OMG so sorry let’s go!

Elena Gilbert: Kidding! Totally over their deaths!

Stefan Salvatore: Um… I can has invitation?

Elena Gilbert: OMG the rents left the cabin to Daddy Uncle John Gilbert! He has to invite you in!

Stefan Salvatore: D-:

Elena Gilbert: Kidding! Please ravish me! Also: come in!

- Lockwood Estates – Vampire Tea Party -

Elijah: Blah blah blah, boring cover story blah!

Damon Salvatore: Hi Aunt Jenna!

Aunt Jenna: :-p

Damon Salvatore: Hi Andie Star!

Andie Star: :-*

Aunt Jenna: 0_o

Damon Salvatore: Hi Elijah!

Elijah: …

Damon Salvatore: You’re picturing me naked, aren’t you?

- Mystic Pizza Grill -

Bonnie Bennet: Hi Luka! Would you like to be violated?

Caroline Forbes: You bet he would!

Jeremy Gilbert: Hey, that’s my not-girlfriend you’re talking about!

Luka Martin: Duuuuuurrrr… flop!

The Fiancee: Witch roofies FTW!

- Dockside of Despair -

Elena Gilbert: This place brings back so many memories! What kind of memories do you think we’ll have, Stefan?

Stefan Salvatore: Well, it’s kind of a toss up. Either one of us turns you into a vampire, or you die some sort of horrible death. Maybe both!

- Lockwood Estates – Vampire Tea Party -

Uncle John Gilbert: Hi Alaric! Damon’s a dick! And I’m going to tell Aunt Jenna all about your little vampire hunting parties! And I want that Magic Ring of Not Dying back!

Alaric Saltzman: …thanks for talking to me! I get to say lines! Asshole.

-

Damon Salvatore: So… what’s up with you being in Mystic Falls?

Elijah: That’s for me to know, and you to shut the hell up about. Also: :-p

Damon Salvatore: Super vampire moving really fast and getting in front of Elijah so that he can’t escape powers activate!

The Fiancee: So… he’s a lot older than you are…

Elijah: Bored Original grabbing Damon by the throat and crashing him into the wall powers activate!

Damon Salvatore: Super vampire grabbing him by his throat because hey why not powers activate!

Elijah: Bored Original pencil to the neck because god this guy is annoying me powers activate!

The Fiancee: Told you.

- The Gilbert Family Camp and Weapons Cache -

Stefan Salvatore: I’m going to get some fire wood!

Elena Gilbert: Why would we take advantage of your super strength and immunity to cold when I can just get a jacket and spend the next five days lugging wood up to the house? Silly. Here, put on my dead great grand dad’s jacket! You look hot!

Stefan Salvatore: I can’t be the only person that thinks that’s weird, can I?

Elena Gilbert: Shut up and kiss me!

The Fiancee: Please don’t have sex in your dead parent’s closet.

Stefan Salvatore: Oh, don’t worry, we’re just in here so we can discover the Gilbert Family’s secret weapons cache.

- Bennet Bungalow – Act Fast, We Rent by the Hour -

Caroline Forbes: Hi Bonnie! Jeremy’s totes crushing on you, and you haven’t gotten laid in like months, so…

Jeremy Gilbert: Vampire cheerleaders make the best wing men.

Luka Martin: Duuuuuurrrr…

Bonnie Bennet: Oh! It’s time for the brain rape!

- Castle Salvatore -

Alaric Saltzman: Elijah’s scary! But he has nice hair!

Damon Salvatore: Yeah, he’s got his own Cullen going. Thanks for pointing that out.

Alaric Saltzman: Oh, and can you do me a solid and not murder my girlfriend’s friend?

Damon Salvatore: Why not? I mean, it’s not like there’s another reporter around to report the death…

Alaric Saltzman: Whatevs. Hey, I’ve got to go… get stabbed in the gut by a werewolf.

Stevie the Were-Pup: Super werewolf sticking Damon in the neck with a needle full of anti-vampire pot powers activate!

Damon Salvatore: Super vampire thrashing about in a futile attempt to dislodge the were pup powers activate!

Thomas: Would like to mention that, in a life-and-death situation, the best way to get someone off your back is actually to reach up and gouge out their eyes.

- The Gilbert Shack of Secrets -

Elena Gilbert: Look! All of the Original Uncle John Gilbert’s journals! And a bunch of vampire killing stuff! Could it possibly be that my family has some sort of dark, vampire-related secret? I mean, another one?

Stefan Salvatore: Yeah, so… I’m going to go over there now.

- Double Wide of Doom -

Brady the Were-Douche: Hi Tyler! If the vampire break the curse, we’re all dead! But I’ll make sure you go first, and painfully!

- The Gilbert House -

Uncle John Gilbert: Hi Aunt Jenna! I’m an enormous dick! Also, I drank all of your wine.

- Castle Salvatore -

Stevie the Were-Pup: Hi Damon! I tied you to a chair and hooked you up to a wooden-nail-lined collar…

Jules: And I want to know where the moonstone is!

Damon Salvatore: Irony is a bitch.

- Bennet Bungalow of Brain Rape -

Bonnie Bennet: Tell me all your secrets!

Luka Martin: No means no!

Bonnie Bennet: Not if I push hard enough!

Luka Martin: Fine! Klaus has my sister, Elijah promised to rescue her if we kill him, and Elena’s got to die. Can I have a shower now?

- Lake House of Lycanthropic Invasions -

Stefan Salvatore: Well, I’ll just pile up this fire wood and-

Brady the Were-Douche: Hi Stefan! Bang!

Stefan Salvatore: Get shot with a wooden bullet. Dammit.

Brady the Were-Douche: Okay Tyler, I’m going to go kidnap his girlfriend, you stay here and make sure he doesn’t move.

Tyler Lockwood: We’re not going to kill him?

Brady the Were-Douche: …no, he’s a main character. Killing him wouldn’t make any sense.

Tyler Lockwood: Really? You’re sure? I mean, read this: this Number four, and number six, and number seven. And kinda eleven. No? Okay.

Stefan Salvatore: Hey, did Were-Douche tell you about the part of the Lame Ass Ritual where they murder Elena?

Tyler Lockwood: Moment of clarity.

-

Elena Gilbert: Why, it’s suddenly quiet, and the front door is open. I wonder if something could be the matter!

Brady the Were-Douche: Boo!

Elena Gilbert: Gutstab!

Brady the Were-Douche: That went differently in my head.

Elena Gilbert: Closethide!

Brady the Were-Douche: Scenttrack!

Elena Gilbert: Shoulderstab!

Brady the Were-Douche: That also went differently in my head.

Elena Gilbert: Run away!

Brady the Were-Douche: Give chase!

Stefan Salvatore: Super vampire Damon’s not the only one who can be a badass so I’m going to give the fans what they want to see and rip the were-douch’s douchie heart right out of his douchie chest powers activate!

Brady the Were-Douche: Dies.

Tyler Lockwood: Hi Elena! Sorry about the almost-murder!

- Castle Salvatore -

Jules: Okay, let’s move on the the “wooden buckshot” part of today’s torture. So… moonstone?

Elijah: The moonstone? You mean this moonstone? This moonstone right here? The moonstone that I’m going to leave laying on this table, in between us?

Random Werefodder: Moonstone grab!

Elijah: Heart rip!

Two More Random Werefodder: Moonstone grab!

Elijah: Double heart rip!

Damon Salvatore’s Eyebrows: Are impressed.

Jules: Moonstone grab! Wait no eff that I’m out of here! Runs.

Stevie the Were-Pup: Turtle!

Elijah: Super original neck breaking right hook powers activate!

Stevie the Were-Pup: Dies.

Elijah: For anyone keeping track at home, this is the third time I’ve saved Damon’s life. You’re all welcome.

-

Bonnie Bennet (on the phone): And then Caroline was like “but he’s totally hot! So what if he’s a few years younger than you! Cougars are in now!” And I’m all like “but I don’t know if I want to date Elena’s brother! It might be creepy!” Oh, and Elijah’s still planning to murder Elena.

Damon Salvatore: Okay. I’m gonna go dip my knife in some white oak, if you know what I mean. (I mean I’m going to kill Elijah.)

Alaric Saltzman: Magic Ring of Not Dying powers activate just in time for me to miss everything!

- The Gilbert House -

Alaric Saltzman: Hi Aunt Jenna! I just came back from the dead, so I don’t have the energy to make up a really good excuse. I’ll probably tell you about vampires soon!

Aunt Jenna: …why are all the men I date weird?

- The Gilbert Shack of Self Sacrifice -

Stefan Salvatore: So… Damon says the Elijah’s still planning on murdering you to death.

Elena Gilbert: Oh, yeah, I know. We’re cool.

Bella Swan: Suicide is awesome!

Stefan Salvatore: You’re acting like a martyr!

Thomas: The word you’re looking for is “moron.”

Stefan Salvatore: That’s not heroic! That’s tragic!

Thomas: “Stupid.” You mean “stupid.”

Elena Gilbert: But you rush off to your death like every third episode!

Stefan Salvatore: Thats… different! Because!

- Bennet Bungalow -

Jeremy Gilbert: So will Luka remember anything?

Bonnie Bennet: No, he’ll wake up groggy, with a headache, and wonder where his pants went, but that’s about it.

Jeremy Gilbert: Sweet! Can we have sexy time now?

Bonnie Bennet: I’m thinking yes!

- Lockwood Estates -

Tyler Lockwood (via hand-written note): Dear Mom, The writers have committed character assassination on me, and the audience hates me. So I have to go away for a while, so that everyone forgets what a douche I’ve been, and so I can make a triumphant, heroic return in a few episodes. Hope you like the flowers, I stole them from someone’s funeral. -Tyler

Jacob Black: Been there, dude. At least you didn’t imprint on a toddler.

- Mystic Pizza Grill -

Tyler Lockwood: Hi Matt! I’m going to apologize in the most self-aggrandizing way possible! So I give you permission to take care of Caroline for me while I’m gone!

- The Wolfmobile -

Tyler Lockwood: Sorry another dozen of your friends got their hearts removed via vampire tonight. This town sucks, right? Oh, and could you please stop lying to me about everything?

Jules: Sure! Fingers crossed.

Tyler Lockwood: Well, I’m hoping to get into your pants now that all the alpha males are dead, so… let’s go!

-

The Plot: Thickens.

On to the next episode!

0 Responses to “The Vampire Diaries – S02E14 – Crying Wolf”

  1. Beth says:

    Just wanted to be the first to comment! Recap was brilliant, as always. I love the Twilight comments! Until next week…

  2. Fiendchikx138 says:

    Another great recap! I lol’d multiple times. Mostly at this: Damon Salvatore’s Eyebrows: Are impressed.
    I wondered about something though. When Stefan went to get the firewood….how bad do you think a splinter would hurt a vampire? Keep up the good work!

  3. Lana says:

    Hi, Thomas!
    I’ve been waiting for this for such a long time. At last I can enjoy your recap which is great. Again =) As a matter of fact, sometimes I like your interpretation more than the episod itself. Well, what else can I say? Thank you for this…er…work.

  4. Heather says:

    That was perfectly hysterical! I’ll be following your recaps from now on!

  5. Dayna Barter says:

    —->The Producers: Last week was fantastic! Salvatore skin! Flamethrowers! Fanservice! There’s just one thing… Team Elijah is getting a bit… restless.

    Thanks, Thomas, another winner recap. And yes yes, Team Elijah WAS getting a bit restless. ;-)

    —->Damon Salvatore: Hi Elijah!

    —->Elijah: …

    —->Damon Salvatore: You’re picturing me naked, aren’t you?

    Hee! Although I think it was when Elijah was removing the chains from Damon after saving his ass (again) that they were BOTH picturing the other naked. Some serious eye-effing going on there.

  6. teamelijah says:

    love your recaps the only thing good about this weeks episode was the elijah scenes and that hair whip lol

  7. Sonia says:

    Hilarious recap as usual, Thomas!

    “Would like to mention that, in a life-and-death situation, the best way to get someone off your back is actually to reach up and gouge out their eyes.”

    You know super vamp Damon would totally have done that, except they had to dumb him down for plot. But that’s okay because I enjoyed seeing him smirk his way through the porn torture scenes. Heee!

    I think Elijah is half in love with Damon, and Damon wants to be Elijah when he grows up lol. Those two and Alaric should get their own spin off show.

  8. Sami Elly says:

    In all fairness to Elena, at this point it’s either she dies or everyone else dies. It’s not actually stupid.

    After this episode, I’m sure of a few things:

    1) Elena will die.
    2) We’re getting a new wolf for the ritual.
    3) Beremy is hot.
    4) If Tyler DOES come back, Forwood is most likely going to happen.

  9. Sami Elly says:

    Oh and

    5) I’m 99% sure Elijah is gay.

  10. emily says:

    Great recap!

    I loved the closet full of anti-vampire weapons! I SO want flashbacks of Elena’s parents now!

    Elijah was awesome, as usual. I don’t really care when Klaus shows up as long as we keep Elijah!

    Uncle stupid John is so awful. I really enjoy to hate him! lol I am really worried for Alaric though… What is John gaining trying to oust Alaric? Apart from being a jerk?

    Can’t wait for next week! Evil Stefan makes a comeback!!

  11. Ellyria says:

    The Producers: Last week was fantastic! Salvatore skin! Flamethrowers! Fanservice! There’s just one thing… Team Elijah is getting a bit… restless.

    Damn right! *is totally Team Elijah* He was the best part of the episode, especially since Damon didn’t get to any heart ripping this time. D=

    Stupid Stefan, stealing the Damon/Elijah signature heart ripping move. Get your own signature move Stefan! Oh wait, it’s to be some broody, lying douche with the Edward Cullen haircut. I forgot.

    Bonnie Bennet (on the phone): And then Caroline was like “but he’s totally hot! So what if he’s a few years younger than you! Cougars are in now!” And I’m all like “but I don’t know if I want to date Elena’s brother! It might be creepy!”

    Oh Bonnie, your mouth says no, but the script says yes. Even though I don’t like you, I feel for you. Why the heck can’t they have you go all Vader with Luka instead?

  12. teamelijah says:

    Oh and

    5) I’m 99% sure Elijah is gay.

    um WHAT?! i don’t get that vibe from him

    The Producers: Last week was fantastic! Salvatore skin! Flamethrowers! Fanservice! There’s just one thing… Team Elijah is getting a bit… restless.

    The Writers: Hmm…

    The Producers: Also, those heart rips are really popular…

    The Writers: So… Elijah, heart rips… I think we have an idea…

    they did a good job:)

  13. Estela says:

    Hey Thomas, great recap! Specially the Elijah parts. He’s really goddamn awesome.
    I wish Elena would stop this Bella-Swan-martyr crap. I love Elena, but she’s annoying me.

  14. Kayla says:

    Jacob Black: Been there, dude. At least you didn’t imprint on a toddler.

    I loved that line…the Tyler character was going in a good direction, and they even had me on team Forwood for a bit, but then the whole thing with Jules happened and it made it a little unbelievable for me. I cannot stand the character Jules…here’s hoping that Tyler will return and be back to what he was when he was first discovering he was a wolf.

  15. Melissa says:

    BEST. FIGHT. SCENES. EVER. I love your posts. So funny… and so what I’m thinking most of the time when I watch. Loved when Stevie-the-were-pup does the Turtle. Ridiculous.

  16. Jagna18 says:

    I actually was happy with Elena in this episode. For the first time in a long time, she didn’t act like a stupid horror movie girl and go outside unarmed. She took a knife, and defended herself. A few weeks ago, even last episode, she wouldn’t do that. Also, with the Elija, she really had no choice but to accept the deal. The fact that she knew that he would likely be killing her off shows that she is less naive than her friends.

  17. Thomas says:

    Thanks Fiendchikx138 :-)

    The whole vulnerability to wood thing is kind of a new twist… but from what we’ve seen, I’d say that a splinter would hurt a vampire more than it would hurt you or me, but definitely wouldn’t be fatal.

  18. Thomas says:

    Thanks Lana :-) I like reading these, and I’m glad that you guys like reading them :-)

  19. Thomas says:

    Thanks Heather :-) Welcome aboard!

  20. Thomas says:

    Thanks Dayna Barter :-)

    Well, everyone on the show is so pretty… it makes sense that there’s a bunch of eye effing going on ;-)

  21. Thomas says:

    Thanks teamelijah :-)

    This week was a bit slow, but they can’t all be like last week. The plot does have to progress some time. And I just saw the hair whip video… lmao!

  22. Thomas says:

    Hi Sami :-)

    I doubt that they’re actually going to kill Elena… I don’t think they’re ready to vamp her just yet. I kinda want to see what happens when Katherine gets out of the Tomb.

    Beremy is pretty, and I think they’re tolerable lol

  23. Cherie says:

    Thomas, I’m onto you. You’re just hitting the Forwood hornet nest after last week’s comments, just to see if we’ll bite. Hehe! I won’t, SO THERE ;)

    This line cracked me up unendingly and without cease… Damon: “You picturing me naked, aren’t you?” There was some serious eyefucking going on between Elijah and Damon in this episode, so you hit the nail on the head with that line. Although, Damon almost seems to hero worship Elijah, and I could picture him being that annoying admirer who bounces on their toes around you and says “Notice me! Notice me!”

    I too was utterly creeped out by Stefan wearing the great great grandad plaid shirt. I mean, Stefan was probably still older than the shirt! Like the slumber party scene last week, this just really drove home to me the age difference between Elena and Stefan.

    Elena’s martydom aside, she was fucking awesome this week. She thought fast on her Big Girl Fuck Me Boots-outfitted feet and I really was profoundly touched by the compassion she showed for Tyler. I know you thought it was weird, but Elena knows when someone needs forgiveness, even if they don’t really deserve it, to take them away from the side of the abyss. Tyler is at that stage where he could so easily fall over the side without his friends, and so I loved her for the hug. God knows what Tyler will be like once he comes back, after spending time under Jules’ influence, though.

    You know, why the hell don’t they just give Elena Jeremy’s Magic Not Death ring for the sacrifice, since it will bring her back from a supernatural death. Also, can a ring bring you back to life if a supernatural death involves a beheading or bodily dismemberment? I’m having visions of a zombie Jeremy somewhere down the line when they run out of story ideas for vamps and weres.

    So many questions. Tyler did annoy the crap out of me on some points. I buy that he rationally didn’t think through what would happen to Elena because of his desperation to not turn again, but what did he really think would happen to her once they got their hands on her? Sheesh. Also, why hasn’t he goddamned questioned if the curse breaking is even necessary when he has seen Caroline, Damon and Stefan running around in the daylight?

    Call me a horrible person, but I didn’t feel an ounce of sympathy for Luka. Bonnie’s actions were morally wrong, but they are running out of time to save Elena, and desperate times call for desperate measures. Yes, I’m a moral relativist, obviously :) I did think it was hilarious that Jonnie could get in the mood after mind-raping someone though. I just kept thinking, “Umm, how romantic?”

  24. Thomas says:

    Hi emily :-)

    Are you the one that coined “Team Blood & Beer”? I love that line lol

    I so want to see Elijah throw down with someone on his level… which means I’m dying to see Elijah and Klaus go at it. It’s pretty much guaranteed to be epic, and TVD doesn’t waste potential the way TB tends to.

    Uncle John really is a great villain… I want him to die so hard lol

  25. Thomas says:

    Hi Ellyria :-)

    I honestly didn’t like Elijah when he was introduced, but his badassery is definitely growing on me.

    I honestly am kind of worried that they’re going to burn through the heart rip move… it can only be cool so many times lol

  26. Thomas says:

    Hi Estela :-)

    I agree, Elijah is proving to be quite the bad ass. And Elena… poor, dumb, self sacrificing Elena…

  27. Thomas says:

    Hey Melissa :-)

    I actually think last week’s fight scenes were better, but… Elijah did single-handedly fell an entire pack of werewolves, so I’ve got to give him that lol… and Stevie… I don’t even know.

  28. Thomas says:

    Hey Jagna18 :-)

    I agree, they did a great job of reversing the “stupid girl doesn’t know she’s in a horror movie” trope this week. But the fact that she isn’t even trying to find a way to stay alive makes me question her intelligence.

  29. Thomas says:

    Hi Cherie :-)

    Forwood holds no terror for me lol… and at this point, Tyler really has been character assassinated. Still not beyond redemption (at least in TV terms), but he’s been an epic douche these last couple of weeks.

    It is kind of funny to watch Damon interact with Elijah. Especially the eyebrow raise he gave him for the double heart rip… I think you’re right, there’s just a little bit of hero worship going on.

    It was totally in character for Elena to forgive Tyler, but if I was in that situation… cardioectomy, in a heartbeat. No pun intended. Torturing my friend or trying to get me killed would put you on my “to be exterminated” list, but both, inside of twenty-four hours? Chest cavity ahoy!

    The Magic Rings of Not Dying are honestly a huge plot hole, and I don’t know that there’s a good way to get around it. You’re right, a whole heap of problems could be solved by giving Elena the ring… or vamping her right now.

    There probably is some sort of magic thingamagig that could keep Tyler from turning, but I can forgive him for not being clued in to all of that yet. But what he’s done to his “friends”… that’s over the line.

    I don’t have any sympathy for Luka, but I goddamn hate Bonnie. On the one hand, she’s all high and mighty, riding a pure white horse, and on the other hand she roofieing people and rutting through their brains. She’s a hypocrite, and frankly, she’d be on my hit list ahead of tyler, if I was involved.

  30. Cherie says:

    I wish that the Tyler/Caroline betrayals had been handled more evenly. If Tyler had done something that wasn’t so potentially unredeemable, and therefore could still be furious with Caroline at the same time she was furious with him, it would be much more interesting. I would prefer a situation where they are both clearly at fault and need to meet one another half-way, rather than the one-sided redemption gig it has become. If Tyler isn’t killed, I am one hundred per cent certain he will do a heroic move that puts him back in everyone’s good graces. Heck, we’re all so fickle that we can almost blow on our fingers casually and go “Eh, what little brother neck snap?” when it comes to Jeremy.

    Bwahaha at the Bonnie hate! You know one of the best things about Jonas’ move last week? I still don’t have to like Bonnie. If it has been her who did the mass brain headache, I might feel a little conflicted in my hatred of her (even if I can justify her actions at times). Luckily, Jonas being the one who did it means I’m still secure in my intense loathing. ;)

  31. Nykki says:

    OH MY GOSH! “Damon’s Eyebrows: Are impressed” “Damon Salvatore: Okay. I’m gonna go dip my knife in some white oak, if you know what I mean. (I mean I’m going to kill Elijah.)” OMG That about killed me!!!! :) “Jacob Black: Been there, dude. At least you didn’t imprint on a toddler.” OMG YOU ARE SO FREAKING HILARIOUS!!!!!! :D

  32. Nadin says:

    That’s a great recap, as always!! Couldn’t wait to read it :) Fave part:
    “Stefan Salvatore: You’re acting like a martyr!

    Thomas: The word you’re looking for is “moron.”

    Stefan Salvatore: That’s not heroic! That’s tragic!

    Thomas: “Stupid.” You mean “stupid.”

    If John break up Jenna and Alaric I will stop loving to hate him and end up with hate only *fumes*

    And this whole future talk – I wish we got some other more decent scenes instead :P

    And whatever his intentions are, I LOVE Elijah!!

  33. Veronica says:

    Great review again.. I like your comment on Martyr “you are looking for Moron” that is exactly what i think.. But then again how about Damon being knocked out by one of the Werewolfs with vervain (or whatever) and Elena (a nobody) being able to run away from Brady (Whom I assume was one of the main werewolfs) so easily and even getting two stabs in? I would think that Damon could have put up a little more of a fight.
    Also, I dont know if it is just me, but Stevie looks very similar to Slater, and they both seem to know everything about the moonstone. HAHA it was hilarious when he tried to hide under the coat..Did he think it was an invisibility cloak? I dont even understand that move at all..Anyway very fun recap. Till Next Week :)

  34. Eve says:

    Thomas, you outdid yourself! My favorites:

    >>>Stefan Salvatore: Wait, you all slept in the same bed?<>Damon Salvatore: I know, I just like saying it! Anyway, Uncle John Gilbert gave me this Dagger of Vampire Death and this White Oak Dust of Woe and it’s supposed to kill Elijah. Legit: Y/N?

    Alaric Saltzman: Beats me. My vampire ex-wife was the brains of the outfit. I’m just the guy who builds pneumatic stake launchers. <>>Tyler Lockwood: Yeah! That’s Elena! I’ve got a picture of her on my bedroom ceiling!

    Jules: …

    Tyler Lockwood: It’s really good quality, for being taken from the bushes!<<

    LMAO! Awesome.

    What does Forwood mean?? I can't figure that one out at all. I liked the scenes with Elijah and Damon although Elijah does not interest me very much and I think the heart-rip thing is already overdone. I liked Damon's attitude even while he was captured, he was almost bored (lol).

    Good point, why not give Elena the Magic Ring of not Dying? She certainly needs it.

    I always enjoy it when Damon and Alaric hang out together.

    I understand Elena's choice, and really, who wouldn't make it? She believes it's either her or everyone she loves, and why shouldn't she believe it? It IS tragic, Stefan is right about that. She won't die, that is not possible. She's a main character. I doubt she'll become a vampire. I think the show will come up with some loophole in the requirement for her to die.

    Tyler going off with Jules cannot end well.

  35. Jez says:

    You do the best reviews of TVD I have read, this episode was so good, almost as good as the last one, I think I’m going to be Team Elijah, he’s so badass, and I agree with Sami Elly, he does seem gay, I mean he called Stevie, “sweetheart” and there’s definitely something between him and Damon;)

  36. boochan says:

    How does Alaric always have papers to grade if no-one ever goes to school? Jenna must be really wondering at the wisdom of introducing Damon’s new source of blood to him. The werewolf that called Katherine by that bastardization of her name died far too quickly for my tastes.

    Speaking of Katherine wouldn’t she be another source of information that Damon could use to find out if Uncle John is telling the truth about how to kill an Original, assuming that he doesn’t know that they are working together. Of course they could always go for the surefire way of killing a vampire:stake them, cut off their head and all limbs, burn the body, put the ashes in a sealed metal box and drop it in the Mariana Trench… if that doesn’t kill them for good it will at least severely inconvenience them.

    This episode didn’t have any Delana moments, is that even allowed? Actually I think Damon is on to something here, trading a high maintenance girl without benefits for a low maintenance one with is probably a wise move. I’d say that Damon is really too used to his mind tricks with girls leading to problems with Elena where he doesn’t use that option. For example, when Elena asked him for the truth about snapping Jeremy’s neck he should have realized that telling the truth and talking to girls are supposed to be mutually exclusive actions.

    Difficult question about Elena and the sacrifice. One point she could make to Stefan is that he can theoretically live forever while she has 80 or years at the best(assuming no vamperification) so she has a lot less to lose than he does. Another way to look at it is that she is picking a less than optimal choice to ensure avoided the worst possible outcome, since the options range from everyone dies to everyone lives there are a lot of possibilities in which more than one person will die. It would be nice if everyone could live happily ever after but at some point you need to cut your losses and move on instead of continually losing more people in vain attempts to rescue people. Finally, there is no need for Elijah to be uncivilized about things, he could come back in 60 years and go through with his plans then since I don’t think he would see that as a long time. Anyway since they now have Elijah around to protect the innocent bystanders why doesn’t Elena and her suitors just leave town and tell Elijah to call them when his plan to kill Klaus is ready.

    I would think that the werewolf strength grading system would be similar to that of vampires, ie increasing with age, while being normally weaker than an age equivalent vampire but being stronger during a full moon. No ages were really given for the werewolves but I got the idea that they were pretty recent with ages around that of Mason’s… which is why they were so horribly outclassed when going up against an Elijah. Damon was clearly impressed by Elijah’s open heart surgery(seriously can’t they start an organ donor system for all these hearts?) but I think that would just lead Damon to want to kill him even more which should be interesting to watch.

    “Just don’t kill her please”
    “If I did who would report her death?”
    Best Damon quote in a while.

  37. Manda says:

    Okay so I have to say that I totally agreed with the Fiancee when she talks about how Damon forgot how much older Elijah is then he. I was sitting, watching the TV and saying to myself..”Damon…you can’t be this cocky can you? Right? Annnddd…okay you CAN.” But ah…it comes along with loving the eldest Salvatore I suppose.

    Oh and WOOT for Bonnie/Jeremy and the sexy time! I love these two!
    And Tyler’s Jacobesque exit was actually rather sad. But I’m sure he’ll come back with a bang as you said. :)

    Great as always, Thomas! <3

  38. Lana says:

    Hi, it’s me again :-)
    just want to add: I’ve read this “Evil Overlord list”…and it’s really what Evil Overlords need! Pity I did not find it earlier, it’s awesome, thanx for the link!

  39. Weird Vision says:

    Thomas: Would like to mention that, in a life-and-death situation, the best way to get someone off your back is actually to reach up and gouge out their eyes.

    WV: That’s… gross good to know! :P

    I also loved this part:

    Damon Salvatore: Hi Aunt Jenna!

    Aunt Jenna: :-p

    Damon Salvatore: Hi Andie Star!

    Andie Star: :-*

    Aunt Jenna: 0_o

    Damon Salvatore: Hi Elijah!

    Elijah: …

    Damon Salvatore: You’re picturing me naked, aren’t you?

  40. daronka says:

    you know what’s so cool about this show? Everyone can find sth for themselves to like. I for example couldn’t care less about Elijah or Bonnie. I’m sooo team Forwood though. So sad when tyler left :(

  41. The Fiancee says:

    Dear Manda,
    THANK you. I hate when younger vampires can overpower older vampires. Both VD and TB are a little inconsistent with that rule.
    Harumph.
    -The Fiancee

  42. Jess says:

    I have to say, i’m not team stelena, not team damon…
    Coz well, i LOVE damon, and i want him to be happy.
    BUT stefan is just too perfect to be dumped.
    So, i’ve decided to create my own team.
    Stedelena.

    The team of… people, who wants Elena to stay with Stefan…. but cheat with Damon.
    Katherine style <3

    I'm mean?
    Heartless?
    Come on, if you could have em both… what would you do :p

  43. Tara says:

    Great recap as usual! I love Elijah and I keep hoping he gets to stick around for awhile. I love his badassery but I kinda hope he truly turns out to be on their side. Kinda like Damon, not good but not truly evil. Damon seems to worship him and he could serve as kinda a father figure for him. Damon needs someone to understand and accept him. The only thing that sucks is our characters keep getting their asses kicked!!! Someone keeps rescuing them! That’s bothering me!!! Even Stefan was down until Tyler helped him!! See you next week!

  44. Thomas says:

    Hey Cherie :-)

    Yeah, Tyler is pretty much Kind Douche of Cock Mountain right now, but I think that’s kind of a holdover from the books. In the books, there was nothing redeemable about him at all, and then he just kind of went away.

    Damon gets a pass on a lot of things, just because he’s Damon. I mean, a lot of the things that I hate about Bonnie – the hypocrisy, the brain-rutting, etc – Damon is guilty of, too… he’s just prettier lol

  45. Thomas says:

    Haha thanks Nykki :-) I do what I can

  46. Femke says:

    And thanks once again for the laughs :)
    I can’t wait till next week, I love Stef vicious!

  47. Thomas says:

    Thanks Nadin :-)

    Like I said above, Uncle John Gilbert is a great villain, because everyone hates him so hard. But, in true Great Villain style, he’ll probably be the thing that pushes the plot forward, in this case by forcing Alaric to bring Jenna up to speed on the goings on in Mystic Falls.

    Also: there isn’t an ice cream cone’s chance in hell that any court in the world would give him custody of Elena after a sixteen year absence.

    Elijah has grown on me… I hope Damon can take a few levels in Extra Badass from him before he (inevitably) murders him to death lol

  48. Thomas says:

    Thanks Veronica :-)

    Stevie did comment that Damon took way more vervain than he expected (the entire syringe), so it’s not like the writers entirely forgot that the Salvatore brothers have been trying to build up a tolerance. And actually, I’m not even sure that Damon has been drinking it the way Stefan has. But, yes, I still think Damon should have been able to tear him apart, vervain or no.

    I actually know people who do the turtle move in real life… it’s some weird survival mechanism that somehow didn’t get weeded out by evolution :-)

  49. Thomas says:

    Thanks Eve :-)

    Team Forwood is Caroline Forbes and Tyler Lockwood.

    I do think they’re in danger of over playing the heart rip. You have to make the audience earn it lol. Damon’s attitude was fantastic, though. “Yeah yeah, you’ve got me right now, but you are so going to die soon.” Pretty epic.

    What bugs me about Elena’s death wish is that she hasn’t even tried to find a way out of it. I could understand accepting that it might be necessary to die, but to just say “eh, hell with it” and run off to the slaughter house… that’s just dumb. Though I do like that she’s smart enough to catch Elijah’s careful wording.

  50. Thomas says:

    Thanks Jez :-)

    I think (like skittledog mentioned last week) that he’s a fop, and that whole “sweetheart” thing is just an aspect of that, with a little bit of condescension thrown in for good measure. I’ve actually said similar things lol

  51. Thomas says:

    HI boochan :-)

    Good point lol, at this point its a wonder Alaric still has a job.

    Actually, I kind of think it’s a mistake that a broken neck was enough to put Stevie the Wonder Pup down… if they can survive massive, magic aneurisms, they should be able to shrug off a broken neck.

    I think that’s actually a good plan… The Salvator Brothers proved that even an Original can be stopped, at least temporarily, by a couple of Main Characters with a big wooden stick, and it seems like Klaus could be dealt with the same way The Judge was defeated before Buffy showed up with a rocket launcher: dismemberment and hiding.

    I think if Katherine knew about the Anti-Original Dust, she would have tried to (get someone expendable to) use it on Elijah and Klaus by now. But, plot convenience being what it is…

    I’m really not sure what’s up with Damon’s Action News Barbie. I mean, cover up for the grief, sure, but I don’t know what the endgame is supposed to be.

    I’m not much for writing “fan fiction” as it were, so I haven’t put much effort into thinking up alternative ways Elena could be dealing with this whole thing, but “oh well, time to throw myself in front of a bus” just doesn’t do it for me. I think it’s supposed to seem tragic and mature and self-sacrificing, but Stefan hung a lampshade right on it: it just comes off as dumb.

    I think werewolves probably become more powerful as they age, but only to a certain point. Since they aren’t immortal in the way vampires are, they probably suffer from the same “darn it, now I’m old and creaky” kind of things that we do. They probably hit their prime, then decline.

    Damon V. Elijah: Round Two is going to be so much fun to watch. I think Damon really does have a whole “I respect what you can do, but I still need to murder you” thing going on with him.

  52. Thomas says:

    Thanks Manda :-)

    The thing about Damon is that his impulsive, doing something stupid is fun side is totally not an act… he really is that impulsive, and sometimes that dumb. He really doesn’t believe that there’s anyone out there better than him.

    I think Jernnie will make both characters more fun, but I still have a thing about Bonnie. She just irks me.

    It would be hilarious if Tyler came back with no shirt, kaki shorts, and a tan lol

  53. Thomas says:

    Hey Lana :-)

    The Evil Overlord’s list has been around for years… I mean, Number 99 is a direct reference to the old 3.5 inch floppies they used back in the nineties. But so much of it is true, and so funny :-)

  54. Thomas says:

    Hehe thanks Weird Vision, I always like to be informative ;-)

  55. Thomas says:

    HI daronka :-)

    There are a lot of different things for people to claim as their own particular reason they like the show. I’m (obviously) a Damon guy myself, pretty much every character has their own following.

  56. Thomas says:

    Dear Manda,
    THANK you. I hate when younger vampires can overpower older vampires. Both VD and TB are a little inconsistent with that rule.
    Harumph.
    -The Fiancee

    This is why I’m marrying her, folks. /single tear/

  57. Thomas says:

    Hey Jess :-)

    I’m honestly not Team Delena… I’m just Team Damon, with no particular interest in who he ends up with, as long as he’s cracking jokes and ripping hearts along the way. Elena’s personality is much better suited for Stefan, and either Rose or Katherine would have been better for Damon than her. But again, as long as he’s removing organs, it’s all good.

  58. Thomas says:

    Hey Tara :-)

    I guess it’s possible that Elijah will stick around, but I wouldn’t put any money on it. Damon has a grudging kind of respect for his heart ripping powers, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say he likes him, or even particularly wants to be like him. He just wants to be stronger than him.

    You’re right, the Salvatore’s penchant for getting their asses kicked does run the danger of becoming a Worf Effect [DANGER: TV Tropes link], but I think they just want to point out how overwhelmed they are right now, so that it’s all the more impressive when they eventually kick everybody’s ass.

  59. Thomas says:

    Thanks Femke :-) I also love me some Evil Stefan :-)

  60. Thomas says:

    Oh, and I just caught up on the Daddy Issues and Last Week on the Web comments, so if you wrote something over there and hadn’t gotten a response yet…

  61. Paige says:

    TeeHee;
    This Episode & Recap Kind of made my day, so as the french say, ‘Merci Beaucoup’!

    When Stefan told Elena what a tragedy she was I swear little ‘TEAM STEFOLINE’ flags went off in my head. Now that Matt’s the only mortal douche on the show and Tyler left with his future kennel pal, why not? Elena could always shack up with Elijah.

    :-D

  62. Thomas says:

    Thanks Paige :-)

    Stefoline really do have amazing chemistry, don’t they? I wish they could do something to spark up the show’s main couple…

  63. Nicki says:

    Great recap as always! Made me laugh a lot. I have a question to pose though…Does anyone notice that in order to kill Klaus, the sacrifice has to be made anyways and get this, it will weaken him? What the hell? Why would he be weakened? Shouldn’t the lame ass curse of mild inconvenience strengthen all vamps? And if it would weaken Klaus and that’s when ELijah wants to take him down, wouldn’t it weaken Elijah in the process, hence no killing? These writers….I’m telling you!

  64. Jodie says:

    Elena: Here, put on my dead great grand dad’s jacket! You look hot!
    Stefan Salvatore: I can’t be the only person that thinks that’s weird, can I?

    Haha. You’re funny. Your fiancee too. Witch roofies. Lol.

  65. Jodie says:

    Darth Vader is Luke’s father!
    I think you’re right about Tyler. Though he probably doesn’t know it yet, he’s probably going to have a triumphant return and be super bad ass now that he has better control of his wolf pwrs.

  66. Neil says:

    Hi Thomas.

    Should I be worried I knew exactly what the Worf Effect was without having to read the reference? And that I also thought “why’s he leaving the 160 year old vampire alive and under the guard of the were-pup” when he’s got a perfectly good opportunity to kill him.

    Best guess/explanation on that one is they were after info and leverage not killing but still…..

    Anyway…agree about the episode and enjoyed the recap as always. After last weeks smack down they needed a bit of exposition and plot development. Not sure Tyler was as fully character assassinated as you seem to think, perhaps as he performed much as I thought he would by making the wrong choice (then the right one). Sure he’ll be back in the fold eventually as the path to redemption is often a short one on TVD – Elena will tolerate a lot. Was fine with seeing him go and while I’m not against his story arc this season I could do with a break from him and the werewolves. Anyway I’m sure we’ll see him later in the season – probably at the head of a pack of werewolves saving the day.

    I wonder if we’ll see Caroline go off the rails at some point in the future. Not sure I want to see her go on a full Damon style rampage but it’s always good to remind us she may not be in as full control as she sometimes seems. She’s seemed a lttle vulnerable of late since her high point when she punted Mason into a tree and snacked on the Red shir….sorry, deputies.

    Best way to spark up the main couple would I think be to threaten them on the Stefan side. The Damon/Elena thing is like this fixed immutable fact of the show, which goes no where because the show can’t alllow it to at this point (if ever). Give Stefan something to do might mix it up. I’m actually fairly pro-Stefan/Elena in that their a good example of a decent couple, it just doesn’t always make great TV.

  67. Neil says:

    @Nicki

    Good points. At this point I’m trying to ignore the Lame Ass Curse of Mild Incovenience so much that the info dump about Klaus being weakened almost slipped by me. I hope the writers have their thinking caps on to square the circle on all this as it’s not making a whole lot of sense at the moment. Ditching the Aztec/Mayan shaman link would be a good start – shame they keep mentioning it in the recap at beginning of every episode at the moment (I cringe a little every time I hear it). I suppose they could go the route that Klaus is the original Orginal and the Lame Ass Curse has some special meaning to him in particular.

    I do wonder what the white oak has to do with their origin though.

  68. keera says:

    I shouldn’t be reading this in the office. I lost count of the number of times I had to stop myself from laughing out loud. Anyway, brilliant recap :)

  69. Thomas says:

    Thanks Nicki :-)

    I kind of figured that Klaus would be performing some kind of ritual, and that the strain of performing the magic is what would make him weaker. Like how Bonnie gets all bloody-nosed and floppy when she does one of her brain tricks.

  70. Thomas says:

    Thanks Jodie :-)

    It honestly would be fun to see Tyler show back up, sans shirt and wolf pack in tow, and just start wreaking stuff.

    FYI: the spoiler markup only works if you’re registered and logged in. And maybe not even then. WordPress is finicky about that.

  71. Thomas says:

    Hi Neil :-)

    Not at all. Just means you have excellent taste, and a sufficient knowledge in pop culture. I suppose they might have wanted Stefan for some sort of info dump, but honestly I think that was just a Classic Evil Overlord Error™

    You’re right, Tyler will almost certainly be back, and it’s a pretty good shot that all will be forgiven when he shows up and saves the day. But if I put myself in the story, if I were Damon or Stefan or Caroline, or hell, even Elena, Tyler would be right up at the top of my hit list.

    Agree, the relationship between Stefan and Elena is easily the healthiest on the show, but that also makes it kinda boring. I still want Stefan to go all Angelus for a few weeks,

    Someone mentioned (I think here on the blog) that white oak was the wood that Stoker said would kill Dracula… so it’s probably just a riff on that.

  72. Thomas says:

    Thanks keera, glad you liked it :-)

  73. Neil says:

    Hey Thomas,

    Think it was me that mentioned the Stoker link for the white oak. It was just that Uncle John mentioned it in a way that made it sound like the oak tree itself was significant in the vampire origin (though leaving plenty of wriggle room). John may well just have been lying.

    Oak trees, and groves, do have ritual significance in some ancient culture like, for instance, the celts and the druid cult. Actually seem to remember Anne Rice had a scene in the Vampire Lestat where Marius is retelling how he was turned to Lestat and it involved a group of druids keeping a vampire within the hallows of an oak as the “God of the Grove”. Whether that was based on any actual myth I have no idea though I did find quite a good little tale about a dark ages Irish proto-vampire named Abhartach.

  74. Thomas says:

    Ah, gotcha. I’m not particularly up on my arboreal mythology, but I do know that “druid” means “oak man”, and they considered the oak the “king of the tress”. I’ll have to look into Abhartach.

  75. Thomas says:

    Hey Sonia, your comment got caught in my spam filter, so I just found it and approved it. Sorry about that.

    Elijah and Damon have an interesting dynamic going on. It’ll be interesting to see how Damon deals with someone who so far outpowers him.

    And I would watch the hell out of a Damon, Alaric, and Elijah spinoff.

  76. Rowan says:

    Kerfuckin’ brilliant.

    The Smith thing cracked me up. Mostly cuz Damon used that name in the books to perv over Elena…Also on the subject of books Stefan’s ideas on what would happen in their future was EXACTLY the plot of the third one…Well done.

    Yay for Alaric getting more lines! Plus the whole thing with Jenna means an Alaric subtext any day now! (Well, any Tuesday or Thursday…during this week or next…) That guy rocks, even when he’s going gay for original hair…poor Damon, Alaric never complements his hair…

    Oh and Uncle Daddy John is totally training to drink Damon under the table.

  77. Thomas says:

    Hi Rowan :-)

    It’s been a while since I’ve read the books… how did Stefan’s comments relate?

    And I’m totally psyched for an Alaric-centric plot. It’s about time dammit!

  78. Sven says:

    Great recap, Thomas, really loved it.
    Great twilight-saga quotes.
    I personally think they will kill Elena but there are multiple ways for her to survive:
    1) Give her some vamp blood and let her turn by killing her
    2) Give her a Magic Ring Of Not Dying
    3) Get Bonnie to learn a real useful spell like “revival” or something.
    4) Use Katherine as the sacrifice since she technically still is a doppelganger combined with a “slight” vampire touch.

    Anyway, I think Elijah will die next episode. The synopsis of the episode for next week mentions no Elijah but i does mention Luca and Jonas so…

  79. Thomas says:

    Thanks Sven :-)

    I will be absolutely shocked if Elena dies tonight. I assume she’ll get vamped at some point, but I still think that’s a long way away.

  80. Sofia says:

    I’ve really been slacking this week! Too much to do.

    Anyway, just a short one.

    Damon Salvatore’s Eyebrows: Are impressed. – I totally called that one! Well, kinda ;) There is some serious hero worship going on there. But it’s more like “the cooler the adversary, the more awesome it makes me when I kill him” than Damon actually wanting to be like Elijah I think.

    And the best random comment in the ep: Elijah is one scary dude! But he has nice hair. Bahahaha! Where the hell did that come from? I bet Matt thought of it himself and begged for them to include it!

    And of course, Damon being snarky while being tortured was all kinds of awesome. Really happy about being rid of the flea bags, for now at least, but the fact that Jules is still alive makes me break out in an annoyance rash.

    It was a great episode, not as epic as the last two or three, but good for both Elena and Stefan to get to be badass. Who ever knew that Stefan had the patented heart rip in him? Though, of course Elijah does it better. He will have to start doing backflip rips soon to top the awesomeness. BTW, I think you should make the behind the scenes a regular feature on your recaps! They make them even better!

    Tonight’s ep could be the hight of the season yet! Cant wait!

  81. OneOnOne1162 says:

    First time I comment but have been reading your recaps for a long time. Favourite parts:

    Caroline Forbes Tyler Lockwood Elena Gilbert (on Elena Gilbert’s Product Placement iPhone): Hi Elena it’s Caroline help help help help help everything sucks and I’m going to die where are you help!
    Elena Gilbert’s (on her Product Placement iPhone): Headed 2 lake w Stefan’s abs. Where r u?
    Caroline Forbes Tyler Lockwood Elena Gilbert (on Elena Gilbert’s Product Placement iPhone): K guys she’s at her parent’ cabin on the lake we can totes snatch her there!
    Elena Gilbert’s (on her Product Placement iPhone): wait, what?
    Caroline Forbes Tyler Lockwood Elena Gilbert (on Elena Gilbert’s Product Placement iPhone): Um… wrong person! Nevermind, totally not Tyler, and totally not going to kidnap you!
    Elena Gilbert’s (on her Product Placement iPhone): Ok! xoxo

    Stefan Salvatore: So… Damon says the Elijah’s still planning on murdering you to death.
    Elena Gilbert: Oh, yeah, I know. We’re cool.
    Bella Swan: Suicide is awesome!
    Stefan Salvatore: You’re acting like a martyr!
    Thomas: The word you’re looking for is “moron.”
    Stefan Salvatore: That’s not heroic! That’s tragic!
    Thomas: “Stupid.” You mean “stupid.”
    Elena Gilbert: But you rush off to your death like every third episode!
    Stefan Salvatore: Thats… different! Because!

    I gotta tell ya this one especially was hilarious, although I’ve gotta say you make my job A LOT harder. I also write humorous recaps for TVD, well attempt to XD. I’ve got to say keep up the great woek dude, you crack me up.

  82. Jawly says:

    Elena is always vampire/werewolf fodder. Why can’t anyone use any competence in this show? If you give her a ring of not dying, she’ll LIVE. She needs it a lot more than that little bitch Jeremy. Dumbass writers!

    Sorry for the negativity but stupid people are stupid. Duuuuuurrrrr. -_- XD

  83. Thomas says:

    Hi Sofia :-)

    I can totally relate… sometimes the week just gets away from us :-)

    The look Damon gave Elijah really was priceless… but then again, most of the looks he gives are. Like Price Peterson says, Eye Acting of the Century!

    The great hair line was great. I love it when actors kind of make the role their own and just go with it, and it would be awesome if that’s what happened there.

    I like Behind the Scenes, so I think I’m going to stick with them, at least for now. :-)

  84. Thomas says:

    Thanks OneOnOne1162 :-)

    The video you posted, Blown Away, was cool… I’ll link to it on This Week on the Web, if you don’t mind. :-)

  85. Thomas says:

    Hey Jawly :-)

    Yeah, that does seem like an easy solution, or at least necessary step towards the solution. That’s the problem with introducing such powerful artifacts… you kind of paint yourself into a corner.

  86. OneOnOne1162 says:

    Why of course not dear sir XD.

  87. Rowan says:

    Stefan Salvatore: Well, it’s kind of a toss up. Either one of us turns you into a vampire, or you die some sort of horrible death. Maybe both!
    Elena was turned into a vampire. CHECK. She then pushes Kat into some sunlight and crispy fried blonde vampire chick was served in a double helping. And Damon cried D: DOUBLE CHECK.