This Week on the Web brings you a handful of Vampire Diaries recaps, news on Batman, Spider-Man, Wonder Woman, the Transformers, and a whole bunch of other super-hero style goodness, dueling cellists playing Smooth Criminal, the latest attempt by Republicans to become the most despicable people in the world, Steampunk Sarah Palin, and more!
Yours truly: Just in case you missed it (or Bon Jovi’s special guest appearance).
Price Peterson: Eye acting!
Ryan Coquillon: “Man, this love triangle is basically like a food chain. A sexy food chain.”
Cindy McLennan: Television Without Pity recaplet.
Transformers 3 footage: Who’s replacing Megan Fox in this?
New Red Riding Hood trailer reduces Twilight influence, ups Gary Oldman factor: Still want to see this one.
New Sucker Punch posters: I want a machine-gun wielding samurai robot with a bunny on its face. So. Bad.
Preview for Wonder Woman 606: Honestly? I love the new uniform.
The Oatmeal’s state of the Web: I do love this man so.
Harry Potter Yo Mama joke thread: Sometimes Facebook is awesome. This is one of those times.
See Judge Dredd‘s Lawmaster bikes: Or don’t because they’re ugly. Your choice.
Ninja Turtles fan-made short: I would love to know who it is exactly that keeps making these multi-thousand dollar costumes in their spare time.
Duke Nukem Forever trailer: Instert “this game is harder to develop than a cure for cancer” jokes here.
Mega Man in medieval times: I really only like the lead image, and the one of Skull Man, but they really make the entire thing worthwhile. The Steampunk Doctor Lite is pretty cool, too, actually.
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link meets Magic: The Gathering: Sweet holy hell, this must have taken forever.
Facebook adds social login and HTTPS: Enabling HTTPS is a fantastic idea. And then there’s “Social Login”, where you’re asked to identify some of your friends by their faces. Because I’ve clearly met every single goddamn one of the 453 goddamn people on my goddamn friends list, and can identify them by goddamn sight. Goddammit. (via Slashdot, which has a slick new skin these days)
Netflix removes “add DVD to queue” from streaming devices: This is a really minor thing, but I liked the ability to queue up a DVD when I was searching on my Wii and it wasn’t available over streaming. (via Lifehacker)
Senators Cantwell and Franken introduce Net Neutrality bill: Al Franken is the best Senator currently serving.
Teachers back away from evolution: The article states that only about thirty percent of teachers are comfortable teaching evolution in class; the rest either don’t feel qualified to teach the subject, or are afraid of the controversy that it will cause. This is one of the biggest battles of our generation: either truth wins, or myth. We cannot abdicate education to people who are anti-science.
Dueling Cellists play Smooth Criminal: I’m starting to love the Cello. Between these guys an Apocalyptica… (via Brian Byerly)
How to paint with light: This is a really neat effect. Of course, this also assumes you don’t have Photoshop.
Lazy Superheros: In other “I wish people didn’t always make me feel so inadequate” news…
Jack LaLanne: A fitting end at 96: Hell, I hope to even make it to 96, let alone be in his kind of condition.
Use Müller’s Exercise System for a 15-Minute, No-Equipment Workout: Want to live to be as old as Jack LaLane but don’t have access to a whole bunch of equipment? Try the century-old Müller’s Exercise System.
Republicans: rape isn’t always rape: The new Republican majority has introduced legislation that would redefine rape, in order to forbid the use of federal funds for an abortion unless physical force was used. So, if a 13 year old girl is impregnated by a 24 year old guy, the family can’t use federal funds, or their Health Savings Account, to pay for an abortion. Seriously, how can anyone vote for these evil, disgusting assholes? (via AJ Wiswell)
China passes off Top Gun clips as military test footage: Well, if they steal out stealth technology, they might as well steal our movies, too. (via John Myers)
Sarah Palin: Sputnik bankrupted the USSR: This woman must seriously be the stupidest human being alive. How in the nine fires of hell is this simpering fool allowed to speak in public, and who in the furry ass crack of Satan is still listening to her?
Steampunk Palin: Proof that God has deserted us at last.
Glenn Beck fans threaten 78 year old college prof: This week in “fuck Glenn Beck…”