Thomas Galvin
Purveyor of Fine Pulp Fiction

I'm kind of an attention whore.

previously, on The Vampire Diaries

– The Lost Woods – One Year Ago –

Profesor Shane: Wow, who knew that training for an ultra marathon would involve so much running?

Arnie the Aboriginal Murder Machine: Or dodging so many arrows!

Profesor Shane: Wait, what?

Arnie the Aboriginal Murder Machine: Never mind, just be careful about that bottomless pit over there!

Profesor Shane: Wait, what?

– The Island of Misfit Vampires –

Profesor Shane: I can’t believe these idiots actually believe me!

Damon Salvatore: What, what?

Profesor Shane: Nothing!

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – Sands of Slaughter-

Stefan Salvatore: So Rebekah, I’ve been thinking …

Rebekah: Oh God.

Stefan Salvatore: And I’ve decided that it would be super extra cool if you forgave Elena and became her best friend again!

Rebekah: Okay, three things. One, stop trying to get the girl you’re currently sleeping with to hand out with the girl you were formally sleeping with. Two, Remember how your special little snowflake committed genocide last episode? Three, remember how they key to that genocide was murdering my brother?

Elena Gilbert: I don’t like your attitude, missy! Super Elena magic stake stabbity powers-

Rebekah: Super Rebekah I will chokeslam a bitch powers activate!

Damon Salvatore: If I am very careful, I can manage to get them to my wrestle in my tent to night.

Elena Gilbert: Hi Damon! Thanks for coming on the Epic Quest to Make Me Boring Again! Say, if we find the cure, will you become boring, too?

Damon Salvatore: Why yes Elena, I will join you and Rebekah in a threesome!

Elena Gilbert: That’s not what I asked, silly!

Damon Salvatore: Good thing I brought my handcuffs!

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – SnapChat That Map-

Bonnie Bennett: Okay Jeremy, I just have to carefully document your Magic Tattoo of MacGuffin Mapping, so take off your pants real quick!

Jeremy the Vampire Slayer: Bonnie, the tattoo is on my chest.

Bonnie Bennett: JerJer? When a hot girl with an anger problem and a death ray tells you to take off your pants? Take. Off. Your. Pants.

Profesor Shane: But before you do, I should probably tell you that Silas’ crazy bitch wife created the cure for immortality hoping he would commit suicide and meet her on the Other Side! And that the Hunters were created to make sure he did!

Jeremy the Vampire Slayer: Wow, thanks for the info, Professor Shane!

Profesor Shane: …

Jeremy the Vampire Slayer: What?

Profesor Shane: Weren’t you going to take off those pants?

– The Gilbert House of Klaus Confinement –

Tyler Lockwood: Hi Klaus! I’m just here to gloat until Team Elena gets back with the cure! Then I’m going to kill you a ton!

Klaus: Have you considered, perhaps, the idea that when an original is cured their entire bloodline is cured, too? Kind of like how Kol dying wiped out one fifth of the world’s vampire population?

Tyler Lockwood: I have considered the idea, and decided that the season finale will be way more exciting if there’s a chance you could die!

Klaus: You’re kidding, right? They’re giving me my own show. I’m about as likely to die as Elena is to graduate high school.

Tyler Lockwood: Shh! They don’t know that yet!

The Lady of the Manor: Joseph Morgan close-arguing with a camera would be a smash hit.

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – Roaming Fees while Roaming Free –

Profesor Shane: Oh no, my satellite phone has lost it’s signal! This can only mean we’ve wandered into a vortex of dark mystical energy! The vile power of necromancy surrounds us, threatening to steal our lives and our bandwidth! If only we could call for help, but alas!

Damon Salvatore: Or, maybe you just lost line-of-sight? I mean, we are walking through a forest. There’s like trees and shit.

Profesor Shane: Woe betide us!

Damon Salvatore: Is he always this dramatic?

Bonnie Bennett: Yep. This one time he had me dress up like his mother and … nevermind.

Rebekah: Let’s play a game to pass the time!

Elena Gilbert: Oh, I love games! Can we play the Everyone Does What Elena Says Even Though It’s Clearly Suicidal game? Or the All of the Boys Are Fighting Over Elena’s Girly Bits game? Or the –

Rebekah: Chop Elena Up Into A Hundred Tiny Pieces And Feed Her To The Fish game?

Elena Gilbert: I don’t like your games. Pout.

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – Story Time with Professor Shane-

Profesor Shane: Hey, did I ever tell you guys about the last time I was here? And how I cut open my hand and invoked dark powers in order to hear my wife’s voice one last, precious time? And how she totally told me that all I had to do to get her back was arrange for the death of thirty-six people? And how I’m already twenty-four murders down?

Elena Gilbert: If I was any good at math, I have a feeling I’d be really worried right now.

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – Angst and Arrows –

Arnie the Aboriginal Murder Machine: Hi Jeremy! Have an arrow or a hundred! Thwack thwack thwack !

A Mysterious Benefactor: Hi Arnie! Have a hatchet in your spine! Thunk thunk thunk!

Elena Gilbert: Hi Jeremy! Have a bottle of water! I don’t need it, because I’m a vampire! :-)=

Jeremy the Vampire Slayer: So did anyone else see … nevermind.

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – Cabin in the Woods –

Stefan Salvatore: Check it out! A nice, cozy cabin! I didn’t know this island was populated!

Profesor Shane: Oh, it isn’t. I mean, not anymore. It used to be, but then everyone who lived her was brutally murdered in their sleep, their intestines removed through their nasal passages and their walls painted with their blood.

Elena Gilbert: I loved that movie!

Rebekah: Elena? Do me a favor? Say “I’ll be right back,” then wander off screen for a minute? Thanks love.

Damon Salvatore: Here’s an idea. Now I know this sounds crazy, but maybe we should not stop at Crystal Lake for the night, and not read each other bedtime stories from the Necronomicon, and not say “Bloody Mary” three times while looking into the mirror with the lights off.

Stefan Salvatore: Damon, don’t be a fool! We’re much safer camping here for the night than we would be walking through the woods in the dark!

Damon Salvatore: Of course, my bad. Why would a pack of vampires, immortal murder machines specifically designed to hunt in the dark, ever want to move around when we have such an unfair advantage? It would be way more sportin gof us to wait until all of the guys trying to kill us can see as good as we can.

Stefan Salvatore: So it’s settled! I’ll start making S’mores!

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – Cursed With Awesome, Cured With Suck-

Elena Gilbert: Hi Damon! I was just wondering why you have such strong reservations about me becoming human again!

Damon Salvatore: Because TV Tropes, basically.

– The Gilbert House of Pole Arms and Passion –

Caroline Forbes: Hi Tyler! I just stopped by to suggest that hanging out with a grieving, murderous psychopath might not be the best idea you’ve ever had!

Tyler Lockwood: Caroline, relax! Klaus can’t even reach us from here!

Klaus: Nope, I sure can’t! But I bet this convenient ten-foot long pointy pole can! Sproink!

Tyler Lockwood: In hindsight, I should have seen that coming.

The Lady of the Manor: I probably shouldn’t find that so hot, but … yeah, that’s hot.

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – Protector of Purity –

Rebekah: Stefan oh Stefan help me help me help me!

Stefan Salvatore: Um, you do realize that you are literally the strongest creature on the planet not currently trapped in Elena’s living room?

Rebekah: Stefan, honey? When a girl asks you to protect her from the things lurking in the shadows? It’s not because she’s scared.

Stefan Salvatore: Oh, I get it!

Rebekah: Thank God! So I’ll just doff my knickers and we can-

Stefan Salvatore: You’re trying to make me feel better about that time I made you kill a spider before I’d get in the shower!

Rebekah: …I don’t know why I even bother.

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – Cabin of Confessions –

Bonnie Bennett: Hi Shane! I’ve been studying Jeremy’s tattoos for hours!

Profesor Shane: Great! Have you gotten any closer to figuring out the spell?

Bonnie Bennett: Spell? What spell?

Damon Salvatore: You know what, Shane? I’m starting to think we can’t trust you!

Profesor Shane: Don’t be ridiculous! I mean sure, I arranged the murder of dozens of people! And yeah, I taught Bonnie the same magic that murdered my wife! And okay, I kind of plan to unleash the apocalypse just so I can play Seven Minutes in Heaven with my ex! But other than that, when have I ever misled you?

Bonnie Bennett: When you said “just the tip?”

Profesor Shane: Other than that!

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – Atoll of Abduction –

Nick the Nefarious Native: Hi Jeremy! I’ll be your kidnapper this evening!

Jeremy the Vampire Slayer: Um, I think you want my sister. She’s in the Hello Kitty tent two doors down.

– The Gilbert House of Helpless Hybrids –


Tyler Lockwood: Caroline, relax! It’s only a flesh wound!

Klaus: Yeah, remember that part where I’m also a werewolf? And my bite is fatal to vampires? And the only cure is my blood?

Tyler Lockwood: …Well fuck me.

Caroline Forbes: Sorry, to busy hallucinating to death!

Tyler Lockwood: It’s okay Caroline, I’ll fix this!

Caroline Forbes: Any time would be just fine!

Tyler Lockwood: Behold my awesome powers! Um, Klaus? Little help here?

Klaus: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of all the shits I don’t give.

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – Splitting Up is Hard to Do –

Profesor Shane: Well, in a completely unforeseen turn of events, in which I certainly played no part, Jeremy has gone missing! I know, why don’t we split up into groups based on how much we hate each other, walk around the island getting nearly killed by a bunch of Raiders of the Lost Arc -era traps, learn some valuable lessons about each other, then meet back here for the unveiling of my nefarious plan!

Damon Salvatore: Well that plan certainly has its merits, but I think I’m going to go back to an old standby and torture you until you tell me everything I want to know.

Elena Gilbert: Damon, you don’t have to torture him! I’ll tell you everything!

Damon Salvatore: …

Elena Gilbert: My ticklish spot is behind my left knee!

Damon Salvatore: facepalm

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – Firestarter –

Bonnie Bennett: Okay, I’ll just use Jeremy’s sweater and the fell powers of Silas’ evil wife Ketsia to cast a tracking spell that will … burn the whole island down, basically.

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – Sharp Sticks and Sharper Slams –

Elena Gilbert: Hey Stefan, I was just wondering … did you bring Rebekah just as your sleepaway camp booty call, or were you also hoping to finally murder the evil bitch after she turns human?

Rebekah: Oh, you want to play the “who’s more evil game?”

Elena Gilbert: You murdered me, you blonde ski bunny from hell!

Rebekah: And you committed genocide so you can have guilt-free sex with the man who practically invented guilt-free sex, you vapid discount prom queen!

Stefan Salvatore: Hey, this is a weird place to leave a bunch of tightly-wound ropes and sharp, pointy sticks!

Rebekah: Super Rebekah saving Elena’s ass just so I can keep making fun of her powers activate!

Elena Gilbert: Okay, so I am morally obligated to thank you for that … but I’m still going to pour Nair in your shampoo tonight.

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – Entombed Entrapment –

Caitlin Shane: Hi Shane! So the good news is we can totally be together again! The bad news is you have to murder thirty-six people to free me from death’s icy grip!

Profesor Shane: Babe, I’m a vegan for fuck’s sake. I can’t pull off that kind of mayhem!

Caitlin Shane: But here’s the catch! The people you murder will all come back to life once Silas is free!

Profesor Shane: Oh well in that case-

Caitlin Shane: Because of the ensuing zombie apocalypse!

Profesor Shane: Wait, what now?

Caitlin Shane: Nothing!

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – Cabin of Creepy –

Profesor Shane: Um, Damon? What’s with the creepy grin?

Damon Salvatore: What? Oh, sorry, I was just daydreaming about torturing you, healing you with my blood, and then torturing you some more.

– Chateau Forbes – Parlor of Pain –

Tyler Lockwood: Great news, Caroline! I’ve figured out how to avoid watching you die!

Caroline Forbes: Oh Tyler, that’s great news!

– Ten Minutes Later –

Tyler Lockwood: Here you go Klaus! You can hang out with our girlfriend while she dies. I’m gonna go watch Sports Center!

Caroline Forbes: facepalm

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – Hut of Hurting –

Damon Salvatore: Okay! Let’s tie you up, break your fingers, and bury this cure!

Elena Gilbert: Damon, no! You promised me that I’m the only one you’ll tie up! Shane, I’m so sorry Damon hurty you!

Profesor Shane: No, it’s cool. I’m kind of a pain slut.

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – Eyebrows of Acting –

Elena Gilbert: Damon Marie Salvatore! What have we said about torture!

Damon Salvatore: Look, I am trying really hard to keep my awesome under control, but I swear to God I am about three episodes away from flipping the fuck out, murdering an entire sorority, and running off to find Katherine.

Elena Gilbert: But Damon! If we find the cure, we can be human together! We can have kids together, and change diapers together, and get jobs together, and work in an office together for the next forty years, and grow old together, and get wrinkly together, and become incontinent together, and … wait, I had a point here, let me start over.

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – Pot and Kettle –

Stefan Salvatore: Hi Rebekah! Did I ever tell you that I think you’re super nice and really awesome and totally hot? And that the only thing that would make you even better was if you all worshiped at the altar of Elena Gilbert like the rest of us?

Rebekah: For fuck’s sake, you talk about that girl like she’s Jesus Christ in a Henley. Are you completely incapable of remembering that she murdered two of my brothers?

Stefan Salvatore: No, we remember, it’s just that we kind of don’t care. Hell, I murdered like six hundred girls last summer, and everyone still loves me. Damon used to hand out rapes like candy. Remember Alaric? Elena’s legal guardian? And remember how we raided his stash of high school booze last episode? You know how everybody loves Caroline? Everyone except the families of the two cops she ate, I mean?

Rebekah: Holy shit … you’re actually this show’s bad guys.

Stefan Salvatore: We make psychopathy look good, baby.

– The Gilbert House of Blood Offerings –

Caroline Forbes: Hey, you remember that time you told me about seeing the world and living forever and riding ponies and crap?

Klaus: I sure do! Say, all this nostalgia is making me randy! Would you like a goodbye shag?

Caroline Forbes: No, I’m good. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d like to fuck your brains out, but I’m busy dying from a poisonous bite you gave me.

Klaus: Wait a minute! If I save you from your me-inflicted injuries, you’ll be one step closer to falling in love with me! Brilliant!

The Lady of the Manor: If JoMo doesn’t win all the Emmys …

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – Pup Tent of Peace Offerings –

Elena Gilbert: Hey look, everybody’s disappeared!

Rebekah: Well that clearly means you’re all trying to betray me, so I think I’m going to get my murder on!

Elena Gilbert: Rebekah, wait! As a token of my friendship, let me give you the Magic Stake of Vampire Slaying!

Rebekah: Why is it vibrating?

Elena Gilbert: Sorry, wrong stake!

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – Shane, Silas, and Shenanigans –

Profesor Shane: Hi Jeremy! Hi Bonnie! So who wants to make some morally ambiguous magic?

– The Island of Misfit Vampires – –

Billy the Vampire Slayer: Hi Damon! Would you mind terribly laying down and letting me briefly break your neck? We’ve got to have a cliffhanger at the end of the show. You know, contractual obligations and all.

Damon Salvatore: Why of course good sir! Always happy to oblige a fellow thespian!

The Plot: Thickens.

– Post Mortem –

“I used to miss being human. Now, I can’t think of anything more miserable.”

I loved that statement. I love the fact that Damon loves being a vampire, even when he hates it.


Remember way back when I said we want our characters miserable? When I said that drama comes from denying the character and the audience what they want?

That was certainly true of Klaus, both last week and this. JoMo takes misery and spins it into pure gold. He can be completely evil and totally sympathetic all at once. It’s brilliant.

But what Damon said? That doesn’t bode well. In fact, given how tight the writing on this show generally is, I’d day that it’s damn near certain that only one vampire is going to be made human, and his name is Damon.

That makes sense from a dramatic point of view. Stefan will still wallow in his Anne Rice misery. Rebekah will be denied the joy of children or whatever the hell she’s all on about. Elena will still be cursed with awesome.

And Damon, the only one who likes being a vampire, will lose the one thing he wants.

It will be temporary, but I’m still not looking forward to it. I am kind of giddy, though, at the idea of Damon being sired to Elena.

I kind of wish this show was about vampires again. I mean, yeah, ninety percent of the people on this episode were vampires, but it’s not about them being vampires. We rarely see them fang out anymore, or stake anyone, or feed. I think this show needs to remind us that vampires are dark, dangerous, and sexy. Give us a reason to fear the cure. And give us a reason to celebrate when the cure is, well, cured.

0 responses to “Vampire Diaries – S04E13 – Into the Wild”

  1. kesili says:

    So…everyone can see the tattoos now?

    Or is Bonnie just taking pictures of Jeremy’s bod…y’noe, because reasons.

  2. kesili says:

    “Rebekah: Holy shit … you’re actually this show’s bad guys.”

    You know what would be really awesome and make perfect sense? If the primary antagonist in the Originals spinoff is the Mystic Falls gang. I mean, they killed 1/4 of the family, killed and/or aided in the deaths of the Original parents, and plotted time after time to kill what is left of the family.

    “I am kind of giddy, though, at the idea of Damon being sired to Elena.”

    Thomas, I have to break it to you, but hasnt Damon already been sired to Elena since halfway through S1? Think about it

    Thanks for doing the recaps though! I dont watch TVD sans-Elijah but your recaps are an infinitely superior way to keep updated.

  3. Cathy says:

    Awesome recap, not so awesome episode. I think part of the problem aside from all the exposition was that they kind if ruined the two “oh shit” moments they had. Granted I should stop reading future episode descriptions, but when you know Caroline isn’t going to die it takes the wind out of that particular sail. We know Klaus isn’t going to die because of the spin off (I wish they hadn’t announced phoebe Tonkin and let us think that the spin off might have taken place in the past). And they announced that Charlie bewley would be playing one of the 5 that has a run in with Damon on the island, so the ending wasn’t a shock at all. I know some of this is my fault for seeking out news online though, so I’ll take my share of the blame.

    If Elena still wants the cure after Damon telling her that he didn’t want her to take it I’m going to have to call shenanigans on this whole sire bond business.

    I’m hoping that this week turns out to be a set up for some great stuff next week because this really was a filler episode.

    Bless your use of the word “sproink”. Holla price peterson 😉

  4. Erin says:

    Rebekah’s statement about how they’re all pretty much the same in terms of evil and JoMo’s facial expressions won this last episode hands down. Also, it’s nice to hear someone pretty much say “screw this, I love being a vampire!” Enough whining about a cure (which is probably either death or causes death or..idk..causes the zombie apocalypse) and what “perfect” life they could have with it.

  5. Well, your post-mortem dropped a brownie in my oatmeal, and I see your point.

    The ONLY redeeming part of this episode was the exchange:

    Elena: Take the cure and suck with me!
    Damon: And give up being awesome and immortal having a nice bottom, forEVER? Fuck. THAT.
    Brian: :::claps like a seal:::

    So, now the whole thing sucked. Exposition, piled on top of exposition smashed between anvils (Ooh! ‘Lost’ shout-out! Did anyone NOT know Ian Somerhalder was on ‘Lost’ for, like, five minutes? Laugh my ass off if Silas is played by Jorge Garcia).

    Shit, if Damon ends up being sired to Elena, he’ll probably be the first vampire in history to suffer from PMS. Do. Not. Want.

    So, Elena repeats the mistake of handing over the only thing that can kill an Original to said Original (dagger to Elijah back in the Golden Age, and now Shiny Stick to Rebekah).

    Methinks Claire Holt’s agent doth not want to play hardball in contract negotiations for either cast regular or the spinoff since her character is now conveniently carrying around the one thing that can kill her, which, oh I don’t know, didn’t COME BACK TO BITE HER BROTHER IS THE ASS JUST LAST EPISODE OR ANYTHING.

    They totally improvised the ‘nice bottom’ line didn’t they? Clair Holt forgot her line, tossed it in there expecting the director to yell “CUT!”, they caught Ian and Paul’s reaction and left it in, right?

    Damon-in-peril, as we discussed on Twitter is a HORRIBLE cliffhanger, especially when the promo that runs SECONDS after the cliffhanger shows Damon talking shit to the guy that supposedly has him in peril. Amateurish. Just sad. Community College Theater majors would’ve caught that editing blunder when they were cutting it on Avid.

    Damon’s neck has to be snapped before the bottom of the hour to have any weight or plausibility.

    The show’s about vampires? The vampires were separated from the Professor, Bonnie and Jeremy by the end.

    Shane, pain slut or not, going goddam rappelling seconds after slicing your own goddam palm open with a Bowie knife is going to hurt. Ultra-dumb. Do they not have technical advisors?

    Klaus is still a great bad guy. He should’ve gone ahead and killed Caroline, since HER only role on the show anymore is to bat her eyelashes at him and blow on his nuts. I was hoping Tyler was going to try and get some of Klaus’ blood the hard way and really tidy up the casting budget.

    Wow, that was a tough hour to take.

  6. Cathy says:

    @Brian were you getting “live together die alone” speech vibes from Elena’s speech at the end? I think the writers were having fun sneaking in Lost references. As long as Damon doesn’t become a “sacrifice” the island demanded” and the cure doesn’t wind up in a plane in a tree I’m cool with this.

  7. @Cathy

    During the live-tweet, I said it was Elena’s “was it over when the German’s bombed Pearl Harbor” speech.

    I have a hard time taking One Good Plan Per Year Elena* and her ‘rally the troops” speeches seriously.

    *And THAT’s actually a HORRIBLE plan, but she’s got Main Character Plot Invulnerability.

  8. Cathy says:

    Also I’m confused at Jeremy’s tattoo not containing a spell. I thought that was the whole reason they needed to complete the mark? Since they no longer needed it plus the sword as a map and compass. Oh shadypants, what are you up to?

  9. Sara A says:

    This whole cure/sire bond storyline is pissing me off. It’s so goddamned boring.

    At this point I’m hoping the ‘cure’ turns out to be a load of crap, Silas rises and unleashes hell on earth, April Young dies a horrible death and Elena cries on Stefan’s shoulder offscreen while the rest of the cast kick some ass.

  10. kesili says:

    …oh and what about that ancient sword Klaus has? He went all the way to ‘Italy’ (which looks suspiciously like ‘Portland’ and the ‘MF woods’ but with a car with an Italian license plate on it) and….then what?

    and why is it that everyone can see the hunters’ tattoos now?

  11. katherine_fan says:

    OK,your episode was way better than the real one,b/c the real one was bullshit.I know I said on twitter that judging by the tweets in my TL,the show was back to its batshit crazy good old days,but I was wrong.It’s clear to me now,that I simply follow really awesome and funny people who make the painful experience of watching tvd a lot easier and more fun.’Ordinary people’ was my least favorite ep of all seasons,but this ep took its place.
    *Rebekah was my least favorite,but now I love her.I loved every scene she was in!
    *Perhaps the writers were trying to tell us that Stefan is ‘meant’ to be with Elena because they both want the cure,but that’s not how I feel.Stefan ‘should’ be with Rebekah.They have a mutual understanding on things and they have crazy hot chemistry.But I fear Rebekah’s days are numbered since we haven’t heard anything about Claire joining the spinoff and it would be so tragic if the character who wants to be cured the most ends up dying because of it.
    *I loved Damon’s smirk when he said he couldn’t picture R without fangs and his reaction (as well as Stefan’s) when Rebekah said he had a nice ass.
    *I loved that Stefan said he wanted the cure for his sake not for anyone else’s.I believe that people who want to be vampires or humans or anything else,should go through with it because they want to do it for themselves first.
    *I already don’t give a rat’s ass about the cure,but Shane contradicting everything he had said in previous eps about Silas,Q,the cure and the 5 and Bonnie not calling him out on it was ridiculous.
    *I enjoyed Tyler’s ‘in your face’ moments with Klaus but as soon as Klaus bit Caroline Zzzzzz.The writers copied/edited the same storyline from last year.BORING!I agree with Brian:If Klaus had let Caroline die that would have been much better?more interesting.I would love Klaus to scream ”FUCK CAROLINE,FUCK LOVE,FUCK THE HYBRIDS,FUCK ALL OF YOU BITCHES I’M GETTING MY OWN SHOW WHERE ONLY ELIJAH WILL SEE ME NAKED!Look,I love Caroline or at least I used to,and she’s not the #1 character I want to see die but it’s about time someone died on this show and as much as I love parallels between previous seasons and the current one,there has to be a twist for me to love them when they occur.I ‘m not a fan of recycling when it comes to TV shows.Moreover,what is the point of having Klaus falling in love with Caroline and perhaps,C falling for him,when he’s on his way out?
    P.S. I found a hilarious tvd crack video on youtube.Is it ok if I post it here?It’s really good,I promise!

  12. Cecilia says:

    Damon being human is something I cringe at the thought of, but at the same time it would be damn interesting to see. But if he does become human, something tells me it wont be all that easy turning him back into a vampire. That would defeat the point. Because you know Damon would instantly seek out Elena, or half of Mystic Fall’s vampire population to turn him. I think that perhaps once you’re cured, you’re CURED.

    But who knows!

  13. Cecilia says:

    Also, saw this on your recap for 2×01. Totally called it. 🙂

    Jeremy Gilbert: No, it’s cool. I’ve got the Magic Ring of Not Dying. Also: I’m totes gonna become a vampire slayer now.

  14. Pauline B says:

    Hi Thomas ! Once again, great recap !

    “Elena Gilbert: For fuck’s sake, you talk about that girl like she’s Jesus Christ in a Henley. Are you completely incapable of remembering that she murdered two of my brothers?” Isn’t it suppose to be Rebecca ?

    Am I the only one who believes a vampire turned human would have a breakdown? Not (only) because he/she would lose all of his/her powers, but because of the dis-amplified feelings ? Like, they’d be frustrated by how little they’re capable of feeling.

    Once again, I agree with you PM
    “But what Damon said? That doesn’t bode well. In fact, given how tight the writing on this show generally is, I’d day that it’s damn near certain that only one vampire is going to be made human, and his name is Damon.” → exactly my train of thoughts. BUT, remember what I said last week about Kol : if the writers had followed their own rules, my baby Original would still be “alive”. So I’m still having hope about Damon or Elena dying instead of turning human #SuccubusElena

    Question : if Damon is sired to Elena, what happens if Kat is pretending to be her ? Since there is blood involved, I assume he won’t have to obey.

    While we’re talking about them, I have to say that while I hate this idea (I’ll get to that in a second), Elena speech was very moving. I don’t want them to become both human and have babies, but I love the fact SHE wants that.

    But like I’ve said, I don’t want to see it happen. If I’m being honest, I don’t care about the endgame that much (well, not as much as some other shipper). For me, the journey is way more important than the destination. So if DE angsty, heartbreaking, epic journey leads them to a point where they aren’t endgame, I’ll deal with it. However, if the writers gives them a sappy, cheesy “we’re human with babies” ending, I’m going to be pissed. This kind of crap is for SE (though, now that I’ve stated my dislike for this idea , JP’s goal is probably to make it happen and make me love it).

    By the way, I know you don’t give a damn about the endgame, but I remember that, in the past, you were pretty confident it would be SE. Is it still the case ?
    Personally, I still believe that if DE aren’t endgame, it will only be because of a “star-crossed” lover type of reason (like Damon turning human with no possibility to re-become a vamp). I doubt Elena will die ti save the bros like she did in the books. Actually, since 309, I believe it will be Katherine.

    Question : in 4×09, didn’t Shane say Silas created the cure ? And now he’s saying it was his friend whose name I can’t spell. I assume he lied in 4×09, to avoid telling the truth about the hunter purpose.

    Still hoping Silas will bring my baby Original back.

  15. Pauline B says:

    @kesili At the end of 4×11, Jer asked “You can see it [the tattoo]” ? And they all said yes. Now I don’t understand why Damon saw the tattoo on the hunter’s hand… maybe because it’s the island. Or he completed the mark as well. Or once one hunter’s mark is completely, all marks are visible
    Shane told the gang in 4×09 he knew where Silas was buried, and the sword sole purpose what to give this location.

  16. Pauline B says:

    @Cathy : “If Elena still wants the cure after Damon telling her that he didn’t want her to take it I’m going to have to call shenanigans on this whole sire bond business. “

    I’ve seen this argument a lot on twitter, but I don’t agree with it. First, Damon actually said “I don’t want you to be cured” (yeah, same meaning, but with the sire bond, every word counts)
    Furthermore, the bond doesn’t affect what she wants to do, only what she does. For example, Tyler didn’t WANT to bite Caroline in 3×12, yet he did. Same for Elena and the bloodbags : she wanted to drink from one, she even did, but at the end, she threw up.

    So even after what Damon told her, she is capable of wanting the cure. Now, I’m curious to see how it will play out when they find the cure : Damon didn’t use the words “take”, so she should be able to drink it. But then what ? Is the sire bond so powerful it will prevent to cure from working ? Is the cure even what everyone think it is ? My guess is no.

    “Also I’m confused at Jeremy’s tattoo not containing a spell” I’ve had the same question. Then I though, maybe “contains” means..; well contain. Like, we all thought it meant the spell was written on Jer’s body, but in fact, the “magic” is on his body. And Bonnie will have to drawn the energy/power from the tattoo.

  17. Pauline B says:

    @Cecilia : Couldn’t agree more with you (or Thomas) about Damon being human. I hate this idea, but it would make great drama.

    And I agree with you, it would be WAY to easy if he could ask another vamp to turn him again (like in the books).
    We’ll just have to wait and see 😉

  18. Rachel says:

    Brilliant recap! Much better than the episode itself. The only decent parts of it were Joseph Morgan. The man rocked LARGE! A golden performance.

  19. Luz says:

    Hi! It’s my fist coment here. I knew Damon would be the one that sill be cure, at the beggining of this season. It’s obvious, he’s the only one who actually enjoys and understand what being a vampire means. I hate this idea, most of Damon awesomess comes from him accepting the fact that he’s a monster.
    OMG Joseph Morgan is incredible, even when he hurts Caroline he makes me want to hug him and tell him that everything’s gonna be ok. I wonder if The Original becomes a series, how the producers are going to find a actress that has such a good chemestry with him.

    I love the recap.

    (P.S: sorry for my english)

  20. Tymbrimi says:

    @Cathy I agree with you about ‘calling shenanigans’ if Damon saying he doesn’t want E to take the cure doesn’t affect E. The wording of the sire bond hasn’t been shown to need precision. Damon never said ” don’t drink from a blood bag”; he told her she needed blood direct from the vein and didn’t even exclude a vampire’s blood yet Elena rejected everything but feeding from a human.
    Klaus was excellent again. Caroline “dying” didn’t make me feel anything but Klaus’ desire for the ease of his loneliness did.
    I wished Damon had asked Elena to explain what she doesn’t like about being a vampire now that she can drink from a blood bag and can protect Jeremy and herself. No one had really asked her recently whether she wanted the cure and I kept thinking she no longer does. It doesn’t make sense given her recent experiences (or even given the moronic sire bond.)
    Thomas – your summary of our gang’s evil deeds was great ( though Rebecca’s, Klaus’ and Kol’s certainly are greater – if only through the extra time they’ve had on earth). And I totally agree on HATING to see a human Damon.

  21. Pauline B says:

    @Tymbrimi Actually, I think Damon said “human” blood in 4×02 if I recall, thus excluding vampire blood.
    My point was that Elena still wanting to take the cure made sense* : a lot of person were saying the sire bond was BS because of her reaction in 413. Now, if when they find the cure, she’s able to drink it with no problem, I’ll agree about the ‘calling shenanigans’ thing. But I doubt she’ll ever has the occasion.

    *I’m still trying to figure out why Elena wants to be human again. I’d say they are two reasons : Jer won’t want to kill her anymore when he is on “full hunter” mode, and kids. While she never said ‘I want children’, I understand why a 18 year old doesn’t want to rule out this option.

    And of course, being 18 forever isn’t ideal. Damon was ‘lucky’ enough to turn when he was… by the CW standards, I’d say 25. If I were in Elena shoes, I’d want to take the cure, break the bond, grow a bit older, then turn again. Except the cure is probably a limited supply, so it would be selfish to waste it this way.

  22. Rachel G. says:

    I really really liked this episode. I guess it’s partially because we got a change of setting, but we also learned so much and all of it pretty fascinating. There were also very beautifully done scenes in the episode, the two I can think of on the top of my head is Professor Bat Shit and his wife and the final scene with Klaus and Caroline.

    Beautiful beautiful Klaus suffering. It makes the episode so much more dramatic and awesome. It’s a shame that the Caroline/Klaus combination will soon be broken up. I am really excited to see how that plot line gets followed up next week.

    My theory is that Damon will die and will be brought back as human. But maybe his memory will be limited to pre-vampire stuff. I don’t know, but the newest promotional poster with him seemed very ominous. I’m almost sure one of the leads will die before the season is out.

    Geez, it’s only episode 13? It feels so damn close to the finale. I can’t even start to guess what’s going to happen in the next 9 episodes. I wonder if they’ll show senior prom or graduation. Maybe Rebekah will finally get to go to a dance.

  23. I agree with Rachel G.

    I don’t know if it’s because of the late start, just having had the one hiatus, but it feels like about Episode 18 when it’s actually only Episode 13.

    Just seems like everything ought to be set up by now and it ought to be ball-out action the rest of the season by this point.

  24. SoccerMom says:

    That’s it! I couldn’t put my finger on why this episode was meh for me, but it IS because I miss the dark, dangerous and sexy vampires. The scoobies have become just kids, except Damon who somehow has retained most of his vampireness. It is true, though, that the vampireness he’s holding back must be bubbling just under the surface, and may just explode out of there. Enough exposition. The love triangles are gone, the feeding is gone, no sexy times that I have much vested interest in, and I’m frankly losing track of some of the plot points and mythology, as well. Let’s start rippin’ some clothes off and some throats out! Maybe a main character ought to die or something, I hate to say it…

    I don’t like the version of Caroline that we’ve had pretty much all season: kind of stupid and weak – I mean, really, let me get just on the other side of this forcefield and taunt you, and then not use my vamp speed to move a couple feet when I see you going for the “stake” – and kind of mean-girl. Liked the scene with Klaus at the end, but mostly due to Klaus, not Caroline.

  25. Jawly says:


    And you’re right. All these characters are horrible murderous garbage. I want the cure for Stefan and Elena. Hopefully as humans they’ll both get killed of or something.

  26. Izeinwinter says:

    It occurs to me that a de-vamped original ought to be a witch, right? And pretty shortly, an absurdly powerful one, simply because of accumulated lore. The lot of them have hung around witches a lot for a thousand years, and any one of them could probably write a kick-ass book of shadows from memory.

  27. Eve says:

    Tyler Lockwood: Here you go Klaus! You can hang out with our girlfriend while she dies. I’m gonna go watch Sports Center!

    Okay, I really did just laugh out loud. :))

  28. Eve says:

    I kind of wish this show was about vampires again. I mean, yeah, ninety percent of the people on this episode were vampires, but it’s not about them being vampires. We rarely see them fang out anymore, or stake anyone, or feed.

    Amen to that!! That is part of the problem with the entire town being populated by vampires and other supernaturals. It doesn’t matter if *everyone* is in on it. It’s just another town.

  29. Cathy says:

    I also have to say I’m not going to be shocked if it turns out that Katherine is banging Vaughn.

  30. Eve says:

    Loved the recap as always, Thomas!

    It seems Damon is giving up on DE. He knows Elena wants the cure and he does not and to him, this makes the relationship doomed. He’s right of course, although it could last a good long time before the doom.

    I am not clear on why he seems to think it cannot work even if both of them stay vampires. What did he say, just before Elena said something like, “Just because it’s hard, you’re gonna give up?” I don’t recall the cause of his discouragement about it.

    Loved Elena and Bex sniping at each other, lol. Loved Bex’s “nice behind” comment.

    In one of your recaps you said that Damon cannot be happy unless he’s completely miserable and it seems to be headed that way.

    Human Damon: yuk. But it couldn’t last. For that matter, Stefan can’t stay human either, if it happens. The premise of the show is the two vampire brothers.

  31. AReavis says:

    As per usual great recaps and I think I liked this more than the ep! I laughed a lot more here than watching LOL.
    JOMO was amazing and I have to say he was the best part of this ep beside Damon being his old hot self again. I loved that he finally admitted he doesn’t want the cure and he doesn’t want Elena to have it either. Though I think his reasoning for not wanting her to take it is Stefan and his fear she will go running back to him and I swear if that turns out to be the case Ima be very sad and disappointed cause we all know Elena has been in love with the older Salvitore bro for a few seasons now.
    Damon being human will be terrible and the best thing to happen next to elena getting killed off. It will solve the sire bond issue of which we are all sick to death of and flip Elena the hell out and Stefan and I just think it will make for some interesting eps!
    Shady pants turned out to be shady, wow, what an amazing we-totally-didnt-see-that-coming turn of events! He also admitted the spell was never a spell and he BSd that to get to this point in the game.
    i’m hoping the hidden team is Elijah and Katherine…they have been MIA for far too long and it will be fitting to see them at the end.
    The sure isnt going to be what everyone thinks anyways..i mean come on the show is about vamps and now we are gonna turn them all human? Please, never gonna happen especially cause they all (except Damon) want it so bad…plus WTH does Elena even want the cure now? She’s hot and young and awesome forever…LOL to-be-continued

  32. Vulnavia says:

    I´m with you, I miss the vampire side, everybody feeds on bags, now?. I blame the fandom and their judgy little eyes, counting down the murders and calling compulsion, rape. The show turns more and more pink and less red.
    I´m glad Damon don´t want take a cure. It´s totally understandable. I will die the day they will force him to take it. Damn show.

  33. Kelly says:

    Great recap, Thomas! Certainly better than the episode itself.

    Yeah, I’ve been thinking Damon will end up human by the end of the season. He’s the only one that doesn’t want the cure, so he’ll get it. Drama ensues. At least it would get rid of the damn sire bond.

    The scene between Klaus and Caroline was great because JoMo got to bring all of his fantastic emoting skills to the table (two weeks in a row!), but I don’t think it was anywhere near as powerful as the scene they shared during her birthday last season.

    The “Damon in peril” cliffies are always kind of a bust, but I could do without him having his neck snapped again any time soon. Yeesh.

    Hopefully, the next two eps will make up for this one.

  34. meeee says:

    Elena hated the ideea the be a vamp, what happen? she become one. Now elena wants to be a human what will happen? she will not. Stefan and Bex want to be humans and have babies, what will happen? they will not become because we will die from boring shit things. Damon hates to be a human, what will happen. He will become a human and i am like 99% sure

  35. meeee says:

    Thomas. i agree with you. This vampires are acting like HUMANS NOW. And this show is still called “the vampire diaries?” I am still rooting for a bad ass vampire chick. katherine is GONE, ELENA is marie sue, caroline is lame, BEX wants babies wtf is going one????

    ps: i saw some pics with Nina dobrev on the set of 4×16-4×17 and she looks ultra sexy and had curly hair ( elena’s new look) and i just hope that she will fucking flip the switch….because i just miss to see this vamps acting more like vamps…..!!!!!!!!!!!!

  36. meeee says:


    the SE fandom wants to see stelena weeding, babies they want to see TWILIGHT SHIT.

    In 4×04 i really liked elena those 5 minutes, when she was dancing and acting more like katherine….she was dark…but now the writers are transforming her into this marie sue…fuckkkkkk!!!! i miss KEVIN W. DARK’S ELEMENT. HE WAS THE KING.

  37. FOXY says:

    “””I blame the fandom and their judgy little eyes, counting down the murders and calling compulsion, rape. The show turns more and more pink and less red.”””

    THE SE FANDOM IS THE MOST Annoying! DELUSIONAL KIDS.” damon is a rapist, killer, maniac, he kills people”. YES YOU STUPID PEOPLE HE IS A VAMPIRE!!!!!! “stefan is so good, he rips people, but he wasn’t himself”. DUMB PEOPLE. Was stefan in this episoad? i didn’t noticed. he is so boring. Paul wesley acting is soooo good when he is the ripper. But SE fandom wants him to be Edward Cullen. Greate. I miss THE OLD TVD. When the vampires were DARK.

    About elena, well vamp elena is close to human elena, boring!!!!!!!! I had some hopes that elena will turn more dark, sarcastic, funny like in the books. Julie Plec vision killed me!!!!!!! They made elena close to bella.

    Can she make a weeding between BORING stefan and elena? and end the show? I feel sad to say this but TVD HAS BECOME DALLAS THIS DAYS.

  38. Dana says:

    It’s sad to see Thomas Galvin becoming Stefan stan and anti-Damon. Let me address what you said, sir, a while back. When a woman says she was raped she was raped. Oh really? What a load of BS. Rape happens when a woman says NO before the act and not after, unless she was drugged. I do not recall Ste Caroline I-Jump-Into-Beds-with-anyone-who-looks-at-me-and-winks protesting much when she got into Damon’s car all giggly and stuff. I do not recall Her Holiness Caroline pushing Damon away when he licked her torso. And I say all that as someone who was in abusive relationship. I have to say that since I read your comment that whoever say they were raped they were my opinion of you as writer/etc went totally downhill. Also, one more thing: if you try to sell your stuff on amazon, can you please have someone proof read them? I got tired of grammar and spelling mistakes. BTW, this recap also has a plethora of mistakes.

  39. Samantha M. says:

    When it comes to them being the shows bad guys.. I would almost love an alternate show that shows the humans of Mystic Falls and their reaction to all of this craziness.

  40. tymbrimi says:

    I need to address this desire by some for more darkness. Maybe it’s a matter of degree but it seems like some want more gore and for the main characters to just be bad. To me there is plenty of that already on TV. Every other crime show on a daily basis has some serial killer story or some woman who’s been bound and is being tortured. I find Klaus’ complexity interesting but I don’t want to root for him. Damon is by far my favorite character but if he had continued to kill innocent women who stopped to help him on the road or if he hadn’t told Andie to leave or he would kill he, I wouldn’t still be rooting for him. I need these people/vampires with dark sides to be trying to be good in order to care.
    Maybe I’m too caught up in the gun control and related proposals after the school shooting in CT but I can’t help but wonder what effect all the gory violence and rooting for the bad cool guy on TV is having on kids. I often don’t think there’s enough judging going on by those who watch TVD. So many fans forget all the horrible things the characters have done.
    I want sarcasm and snark and humor from the MF gang and even attacks on the bad guys.
    And I think the use of Marie Sue vampire is too often used to attack any female writer whose character someone doesn’t like.

  41. nvo says:

    @ Tymbrimi I agree. The main characters can’t revel in their evil forever. I like it when they do morally questionable things for good reasons. And that Mary sue thing is annoying. I think everybody forgot what that word actually means.

    I liked this episode okay. It wasn’t the greatest but the character moments were awesome. Can Elena and Rebekah become BFFs please? Also I think Elena sort of proposed to Damon. He’s changed species for a woman before and it didn’t work out that well so I can understand him not doing that again. And I think he’s comfortable being a vampire. As for Elena, I don’t think she hates it as much as she used to. All the reasons for taking it she mentioned had nothing to do with missing her humanity. Also she’s sired and she can’t very well stay sired.

    Thomas, your new running gag that Elena is horny and sex-crazed all the time makes me laugh.

  42. katherine_fan says:

    @Dana If I remember correctly,the first time Caroline and Damon had sex it was consensual.But then he showed her he was a vamp and started compelling her,therefore taking away her free will,that’s why a lot of people see all the other times they had sex together as rape.Just like Katherine and Stefan.Rape victims are not only women who some stranger forced them to have sex with him ,but also women who their husband or boyfriend wouldn’t take no for an answer.

    @Samantha M. As long as those humans are not like April Young,I’m in!

    I don’t think violence on TV or in video games is the sole cause of people being violent in real life.
    I root for the bad guys 99% of the time when I read a book,or watch a tv show and my favorite video game is hitman.Video games and tv shows give us a way out from reality,to root for people or be people who we wouldn’t like or want to be in real life.I believe violence is a phenomenon triggered by a lot of reasons combined not just a tv show or a video game.A person who has mental problems or grows up in an abusive environment (or both) and watches tv shows with violence may become violent.Just my opinion,I’m not an expert.
    But it also depends on what ages we’re talking about.I wouldn’t let a child,let’s say 7 yrs old to watch tvd,because kids in that age can’t always tell the difference between reality and fantasy.

  43. Tymbrimi says:

    @katherine-fan. I never intended to imply that violent TV is the sole cause of violence. War and murder existed long before tv. I was wondering about the impact on our culture in general, on teens and on the mentally unstable. It’s hard to believe the pervasiveness of it has no impact

  44. Cathy says:

    The Damon raped Caroline thing bugs me because by that logic Caroline also raped Matt, but no one ever brings that up. Matt was compelled to forget that Caroline bit him, and then later compelled to forget she was a vampire (although the second time he asked her to compel him knowing he was on vervain, she kept dating him and presumably sleeping with him knowing that if he didn’t want to be with a vampire). I think we need to let go of that because chances are all of the vampires on the show are rapists by that standard, so at some point you have to accept that we can’t really hold vampires to the same moral code as we would humans, or else you’re just going to hate all of them. Furthermore, I don’t even think that Caroline as a character truly feels that Damon “raped” her. She just seems to feel like he used her (and to be clear it was disgusting how he treated her). I’m pretty sure if she felt she had actually been raped that would have been the first thing she would have thrown in Elena’s face when she was on her “team Stefan” campaign.

  45. Vulnavia says:

    If we apply the same moral rules of real life to fiction, we would have only ethical treatises. That why fiction exist, to show impossible worlds, alternative worls, which are handled with other rules, where there are other possibilities. There are many shows for teenagers, reflecting reality. This is not one of them. There are supernatural criatures and they have their own rules. One is the feeding. If they not compel human to forget, the human should be killed. It is pure survival of a species that is not human.

    Damon treated Caroline like shit (as Klaus? as her own father?) and fed on her because he is a vampire, and that is what they do: eat people and erases their memories. There is so many show all human, that it´s a shame judging vampires and werewolves (OMG, I´m too old for this show).

    (and I sorry for my grammar and spelling mistakes because I use a translator)

  46. Barachiel says:

    This show loves to surprise me, so maybe I’m wrong, but I’ve got this sneaking suspicion that Team Delena’s going to have their heart broken one way or another very soon.

    Let’s see:

    1) Damon can’t overcome Original Compulsion on behalf of Elena but Stefan can.
    2) Damon doesn’t want to be human, not even to be with her. Stefan wants to become human, no matter what.

    Basically, this is going to end up being a dissection of “why good girls love bad boys”, one way or another, with Elena realized that her feeling for Damon are like fire, Hot and Passionate but will ultimately burn her. Her feelings for Stefan are cooler, calmer, and in the end, healthier in the long run, as the they want to meet in the same place.

    How sad.

    On the other hand, Klaus and Rebekah continue to steal the show and honestly, if the spin-off does happen, I may trade up for the newer model. Like Supernatural, this show has killed off so much of its “normal” supporting cast, that its focus has shifted away from “Normal and Supernatural World Collide” to “Being Human, CW Style.”

    Elena, Matt, and Caroline haven’t been as compelling this season. Bonnie and Jeremy are finally hitting their stride, but it’s not enough. Bonnie’s long since become the equivalent of True Blood’s Tara. Tyler’s story arc ame to a screeching halt at Christmas.

    The only things tying me to this show are the Families Salvatore and Mikaelson. And the latter’s about to ship out.

  47. katherine_fan says:

    @Cathy Caroline compelling Matt was different because she compelled him to forget she bit him and that’s that.She din’t compel him to keep dating her or love her.

  48. Cecilia says:


    I dont think anyone refers to the first time Damon slept with Caroline as him forcing himself on her. It’s the next day when ge began to compell her. No doubt he continuously slept with her. And Im sure Caroline enjoyed it.

    BUT. Had she not been compelled, she would have been running for the hills before having sex with a vampire whose been feeding on, and hurting her. Face it, Damon was a jackass to her.

  49. sepiriz47 says:

    @Dana, @katherine-fan, Caroline does think Damon raped her but she doesn’t say it because Julie Plec doesn’t want her to say it.

    Yes, Caroline raped Matt. I’ve said so elsewhere.

  50. misty says:

    Thank you very much for yet another fine recap!

    I really enjoyed this episode. I think my favorite part was the parallel between Damon’s “I’ve accepted my self as a vampire and don’t want to return to human” and Stefan’s “I want to go back to being a human because I can’t accept myself and all of the horrible things I’ve done as a vampire.” I aldo believe that when reading between the lines, the brothers are also saying “I can (or can’t) accept Elena as I vampire because I have (or haven’t) learned to accept it for myself.” I also really liked the glimmer of awareness that showed on Elena’s face after hearing both speeches from Damon and Stefan. I think the writers did a lovely job of weaving those moments together and it offered a bit of insight into the three pieces of the triangle.

  51. Tamara says:

    @misty – I adore your comment, but I also not sure how to look at it, regarding future development in this triangle. I’m not sure about positiv development for Damon and Elena, just like you seem to be. The whole scene was brilliant in many ways: Damon looked like his head is going to explode because of his involvement in this idiotic situation – his anger, desperate love for this girl, fear of new disappointment and rejection, willingness to push her away just to spare both of them of future possible painfull situation. Her talk about cure reminds me on one flashback with Katherine, where he gave himself completely to the woman he loved and was willing to do whatever is necessary to be with her and she fooled him a big time. Now, with Elena and sire bond and her blind wish for cure – without any detailed knowledga about it, the whole situation seems like deja vu. I would love them to overcome all problems and love eachother for the rest of the show, but his attitude in this scene represents his biggest fears and desires at the same time, and make me feel very uncomfortable. God, I miss Rose, she was my favorite woman for Damon.

  52. Thomas says:


    Everyone can see the tattoo once it’s complete, and apparently the hunter Damon threw a fight to had a completed mark. I only saw the part on his hand, which is why I thought it was incomplete.

    And I really hope The Originals distances itself from the Mystic Falls gang. Both shows need room to breathe and develop on their own.

  53. Thomas says:

    Hi Cathy,

    Yeah, I also knew Caroline was going to be all right, just because it was the wrong episode for a big dramatic death. I really wish people would stop sending me spoilers. C’est la vie, I guess.

    According to the rules they’ve laid out, Elena can still want the cure, but the Sire bond would make her refuse to take it.

  54. Thomas says:

    Hi Erin,

    Rebekah was absolutely right. Everyone on this show has dirty hands, and Team Elena needs to be called on it more often.

  55. Thomas says:

    Hi Brian,

    Yeah, I was really glad to see that Damon realizes he’s one million percent better off as a vampire. I wish that didn’t mean he was going to lose it, but whatever.

    I’ve been wondering about how the whole “older vampires are stronger” thing works. If Damon was sired by Elena, he’d be pretty fucking weak, but if he got Bex or Claus or someone to turn him … Alaric was a badass because he was an Original, not because he was old. So maybe it has something to do with how “dilluted” the blood is. Like 2nd generation vamps are still tough as hell, fifth generation vamps are weaker, and so on and so on. So maybe Damon could actually get a badass upgrade if he briefly turns human? That would be the only thing that would make it kind of okay.

    And yeah, there was a lot of exposition to slog around this week. They’re bending over backwards for people who don’t watch the show.

    Klaus needs to hurry up and mic-drop his way out of Mystic Falls. He’ll be better off on his own.

  56. Thomas says:

    Hi Cathy,

    You’re right, I think the sword was necessary to decode the map. But doesn’t Shane know where Silas is buried already? Hell, maybe he just plans to sacrifice all of the hunters to Silas or something.

  57. Thomas says:

    Hi Sara A,

    I would love it if the cure was a total fakeout and the rest of the season was just Walking Dead – Mystic Falls Edition.

  58. Thomas says:

    Hi katherine_fan,

    I love that Bex calls out Team Elena on their bullshit. She’s the voice of the audience now that Katherine is gone and Damon is part-time Elena-whipped.

    “Everything you knew is a lie” is this show’s stock in trade. Shane’s last minute reversal was absolutely no surprise.

  59. Thomas says:

    Hi Cecilia,

    The way TVD used to burn through plot, I would have guessed Damon would stay human for one episode, tops. Now, though … I shudder to think.

  60. Thomas says:

    Hi Pauline B,

    If Damon becomes human, I’ll be emotionally devastated. I can’t even imagine how Damon will feel.

    That’s very interesting, re: Kathlena. I would imagine the Sire bond would tell him she wasn’t the real deal.

    I have no idea what the end game for this show is. I kind of hope all three of them realize how toxic their relationships are and wander off to fuck new people.

  61. Thomas says:

    Thanks Rachel, yeah, JoMo does angry smolder like no one else.

  62. Thomas says:

    Hi Luz, thanks for dropping by.

    I agree, Vampire!Damon is the best Damon, and I hate the idea of him being human. Which is why I’m convinced it’s going to happen.

    Everyone has chemistry with JoMo. Phoebe Tonkin is going to New Orleans with him, and those two are smoking together. No worries.

  63. Thomas says:

    Hi Tymbrimi,

    I think the most incredible thing about JoMo’s performance is that he was able to make people feel sorry for him when he was clearly the bad guy in that scene. He’s a fantastic actor.

  64. Thomas says:

    Hi Rachel G,

    I’m really looking forward to seeing Hayely interact with Klaus more. Their close-arguing a few episodes was electric, and we need more Phoebe Tonkin in our lives.

    This should feel like we’re close to the finale. That’s how TVD used to run: a mini-finale every couple of months.

  65. Thomas says:


    Having nine more episodes shouldn’t stop them from going balls-out for the rest of the year. It’s time to kick this mother into overdrive.

    Which is actually a broken metaphor. Overdrive makes the engine work less, not more.

  66. Thomas says:

    Hi SoccerMom,

    Yeah, “dark, dangerous, and sexy” is when this show is at its best. I love that they can make things so wrong seem so appealing, and they need to play to that strength more. That’s as true of Caroline as everybody else.

  67. Thomas says:


    I would gladly burn one episode on a sappy funeral if it meant I got pissed off Damon for the rest of the season.

  68. Thomas says:

    Hi Izeinwinter,

    If witchcraft is hereditary, yeah, at least Bex should be able to pull some mojo.

  69. Thomas says:

    Hi Eve,

    There’s a problem with stories like this: everyone either becomes supernatural or gets forgotten like Matt. There a certain inevitable power creep that shows like this have to watch out for.

    And yeah, we need more sexy vampire sexing.

    I think Damon is sabotaging his relationship with Elena because 1. he doesn’t think he deserves to be happy, and 2. he doesn’t think Elena can be happy with him.

  70. Thomas says:

    Hi AReavis,

    Yeah, it was great to see some of the old Damon back, but like I said, I think that was just set-up to having all of that taken away from him.

    <3 Elijah, <3 Katherine, <3 <3 <3 Elijah + Katherine.

  71. Thomas says:

    Hi Vulnavia,

    I haven’t really heard a lot of backlash, I just think they’re trying to appeal to a wider audience. Which is, I think, a mistake.

  72. Thomas says:

    Hi Kelly,

    Until Damon is sired to Elena, and Stefan is jealous that she shared her bodily fluids with him, and woe woe woe, emo emo emo.

    JoMo is perfect at pretty much everything.

  73. Thomas says:

    Hi meeee,

    Yeah, I agree.

  74. Thomas says:


    I’m anti-Damon? All right then. Anyway, feel free to read literally any other author and/or blog out there. The internet’s littered with them.

  75. Thomas says:

    Samantha M,

    I think that show would involve a lot of confused looks and whiskey, honestly.

  76. Thomas says:

    Hi tymbrimi,

    There’s plenty of dark on TV, but very little of it is done well. True Blood has basically devolved into “LOL WE’RE HBO WE AN SHOW BOOBS LOOK BOOBS AREN’T WE EDGY AND RELEVANT LOL PENIS.”

    TVD can make something dangerous look beautiful. Is that fucked up? Sure … and I love it.

    Studies consistently fail to make any connection between violent entertainment and violent actions. There may even be a negative correlation, as the violent fiction gives violent people an outlet they would otherwise not have.

  77. Thomas says:

    Hi nov,

    I wish TV!Elena was as sex crazed as Recap!Elena. That would be far more interesting than I!Hate!Being!Awesome!Elena.

  78. Thomas says:

    Hi Barachiel,

    Yeah, all signs point toward a Delena Doomsday. I wish I could say it was fun while it lasted, but I’ve always preferred my Damon on his own and angry.

    I’m really looking forward to having the Originals on their own. It will be good for JoMo and friends, and I think it will give the Mystic Falls people some breathing room.

  79. Thomas says:

    Hi misty,

    I agree, the Salvatores’ differing takes on being a vampire, and Elena as a vampire, are pretty compelling. I just wish it wasn’t swaddled in so much exposition.

  80. Thomas says:

    Hi Tamara,

    I really liked Rose, but I still wish Katherine and Damon would get back together. I think those two actually understand each other, even if they kind of hate each other, too.

  81. Tymbrimi says:

    ” I kind of hope all three of them realize how toxic their relationships are and wander off to fuck new people.” lol
    I’ve been a big Delena fan but I’m close to wanting that now.

  82. Rachel says:

    Tymbrimi – I totally want that!
    I too think that Damon and Katherine should ride off into the sunset together.

    God, I MISS Katherine!!!

  83. “LOL WE’RE HBO WE AN SHOW BOOBS LOOK BOOBS AREN’T WE EDGY AND RELEVANT LOL PENIS.” : how to summarize the last seasons of TB perfectly ,)

    “the violent fiction gives violent people an outlet they would otherwise not have.” I agree. When I was younger, I used to play GTA to blow off some steam after a bad day in class, and I didn’t turn into a (complete) psychopath.

    What’s more, most of the violence TVD shows isn’t a violence that is available in the real world : it’s not like you could rip someone’s heart out with your bare hands.

    “I would imagine the Sire bond would tell him she wasn’t the real deal.” It’s the most logical assumption.
    Another question : what if Elena had had both bros’ blood in her system like in the books. And if she had been sired to them both? I’m curious about how it would have worked.
    Also, what if a vampire belongs to two different bloodlines ? Like, a vampire turned by Kol and Klaus – would he died when Kol died, or would he live until Klaus’ death ? There must be at least one vampire in the world who’s related to more than one Original.

    @Izeinwinter can’t believe I never thought about the Originals becoming witches. Will it work for Klaus though ? I hope we’ll never find out.

  84. Melissa Lynnette says:

    First time poster, long time reader.

    I’ve been convinced that Damon is going to become human/die by season’s end and IF it is possible (and I’m sure it will be, come on, this show is about vampires) to get revamped, I’m hoping the MF gang will refuse and Damon will suck it up and get Klaus to do it and then end up sired to him.

    Okay, I admit that siring part is my Klamon crack!shipping coming out, but really. Who would re-vamp Damon out of our crew? Especially since they’ve all been running around acting like being a vampire is awful. I can see them trying to convince him that he’s better off human.

    (Or Katherine could show up and do it again. And then they can go off and be awesome together and leave all these immortal murder machines to raise a bunch of babies together.)

  85. katherine_fan says:

    It’s not that I’m surprised that Shane lied.But with the sun and moon curse,there was consistency.It was a lie,sure, the curse only applied to Klaus,but the other things were true;elena needed to die so did a vamp and a werewolf.There was a build-up.We had some sort of idea where all of this led.Now Shane changing the entire story just feels off.
    In the books,the older the vampire was that turned a human,the stronger the newbie vampire turned out to be.That’s why Damon needed that princess to turn him.And Bex turning Damon?fuck yeah!I think the writers are trying to tell us that emotions play a big part in how strong a vamp is.Caroline was so angry that she could overpower Damon (ok he let her overpower him,whatever).It would make more sense though,if we were talking about vamps that were the same age more or less.Seeing Elena overpower an Original is far-fetched.

  86. votermom says:

    “I am kind of giddy, though, at the idea of Damon being sired to Elena.”

    Actually Rebecca should sire Damon if she wants staking immunity.

  87. Doc East says:

    My personal prediction: the vampire “cure” is a cure for every vampire on earth… except those played by Nina Dobrev, thanks to doppelganger connections to the original blood donor. The rest of the season is watching Klaus try to get hold of Elena blood again so The Originals can be awesome! (Ah, never mind, that wouldn’t work, since he’s a werewoof.)

    Anyway, great recap as always.