Thomas Galvin
Purveyor of Fine Pulp Fiction

Triquetra
Remember: if you see something, say nothing, and drink to forget. -Welcome to Night Vale

previously, on The Vampire Diaries

- Castle Salvatore Damon’s Elena’s Detox Dungeon-

Damon Salvatore: Man! I can’t believe it’s been five whole hours and Elena still isn’t doing exactly what we want!

Stefan Salvatore: This sucks! It’s almost like the world doesn’t revolve around us anymore!

Katherine Pierce: Hi guys! Since Nina Dobrev is currently playing a desiccating corpse, I figured I’d drop by and wreak vastly entertaining havoc!

Stefan Salvatore: That’s great Katherine!

Damon Salvatore: Except we aren’t in this episode!

Katherine Pierce: :-(=

- New Orleans – Cafe of Coffins -

Marcel’s Minions: Hey guys! What should we do with this giant, elaborate coffin our boss uses to move about during the day? Leave it laying in the middle of the street? Okay!

Hayley: Wow, this is the best gumbo I’ve ever had!

Jane-Anne Deveraux: That’s because my sister, Jane, who is totally a powerful witch, adds magic ingredients to every bowl!

Hayley: Wow, like she casts a spell to make them all delicious?

Jane-Anne Deveraux: Oh, no, she just adds a bunch of spices and stuff. I just like to shout about her being a witch to stir up trouble. Speaking of trouble! I know you’re looking for information on your family, and there may or may not be a bunch of werewolves buried in the City of the Dead, the most dangerous location in New Orleans!

Hayley: Thanks Jane! If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know how I’d end up in mortal danger this week!

Jane-Anne Deveraux: Nothing says “thank you” like giving me a lock of your hair!

Hayley: That doesn’t seem suspicious at all, so here you go!

- The City of the Dead – New Orleans’ Most Dangerous Cemetery -

Hayley: OKay, according to the map, I’m–

Jane-Anne Deveraux: Mumble mumble Cajun Latin!

Hayley: Completely fucked. I should have stayed in Mystic Falls.

- Mikaelson Mansion -

Rebekah: New Orleans? Why in the hell did Klaus go to New Orleans?

Elijah: One of his oldest and most hated allies told him that there was a super secret plot to mumble mumble no one really knows.

Rebekah: So he went down to instantly, effortlessly slaughter everyone who might dare raise a hand against him, only to return home and continue to fawn over characters played by Nina Dobrev?

Elijah: Well if he did that we wouldn’t be getting our own series, would we?

- New Orleans – Tourist Trap of Terror -

Timmy the Tour Guide: This is the most * dangerous place in New Orleans *, where the living get lost and the dead stick around to play!

Klaus: Note to self: after decimating the local witch, vampire, and werewolf populations, go on a shockingly brutal crusade against the local walking tour service.

Miss Cleo: Hello there, vile and hated vampire/werewolf hybrid, who is an abomination in the eyes of all who behold him!

Klaus: I will have you know there are plenty of people who look on me with fond, nay lustful eyes! Speaking of, have you seen a guy named Marcel?

- Marcel’s Tavern of Terror -

Marcel: ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫

Klaus: Hi Marcel! Hi Marcel’s Minions!

Marcel’s Minions: >:-{=

Marcel: Klaus! As you already know, it’s been a hundred years since your father murdered half the vampires in New Orleans and chased you out of town, leaving a power vacuum just big enough for one self-proclaimed king slash jazz singer!

Klaus: And as you already know, I later murdered my father, awakened my latent Werewolf genes, became unkillable, then for some reason spent the next two years hanging out with a bunch of high schoolers, one of whom I very much wanted to diddle.

Marcel: So, should we do the angry stare thing to build up a bunch of tension, then do the big smiling bro-hug thing to let everyone know we’re really friends?

Klaus: Of course! It’s one of the most time-treasured establishing moments in cinema!

Marcel’s Minions: Eyeroll

Klaus: So I see you and yours all have Magic Rings of Not Exploding in the Daylight … how exactly did you convince a group of people who historically hate us and are some of the most potent, dangerous forces in the world to help you, their sworn enemy, to move freely through the daylight?

Marcel: Well, it’s a long and fascinating story, but rather than tell it, I think I’ll take you over to this Gumbo shop I know. They make a great chicken cacci-kill-Klaus.

- French Quarter of Fear -

Klaus: I can’t help but notice all these vampires are kind of not even bothering to hide the fact that they’re supernatural.

Marcel: You think that’s crazy? Watch what I do to this witch you’ve been looking for! Hey Jane! A little bird told me that you’ve been doing magic without my express permission! How do you plead?

Jane-Anne Deveraux: Go fuck your–

Marcel: Super vampire using random foliage as a tool of death and destruction powers activate!

Jane-Anne Deveraux: X-|

Sophie Deveraux: o_0

Klaus: So Marcel, when I said “I’d like to talk to Jane-Anne Deveraux, I did actually mean ”talk to Jane-Anne Deveraux."

Marcel: …Oh. Oh. Oh. Shit, dude. When was the last time you ever actually wanted to talk to an enemy rather than remove their spleens through their eye sockets?

Klaus: Okay, that’s fair.

- Cafe of Coffins -

Klaus: Hi Sophie! Sorry about your sister’s untimely demise, but on a more important subject, what was your sister plotting to do with me?

Sophie Deveraux: As much as I’d love to help you murder everything in town, those guys at the bar are Marcel’s Minions, and if I talk to you in front of them …

Klaus: One moment love. Hi guys! I can’t help but notice that you’re following me all over town!

Sophie Deveraux: Actually, you didn’t notice until I pointed them out–

Klaus: Anyway, if I catch you following me again, I’m going to show you exactly what it feels like to have your spine removed through your rectum. So why don’t you sit down, shut the fuck up, and enjoy a nice bottle of hundred year old scotch, on me!

- Back Street of Bad Juju -

Sophie Deveraux: Hey look! It’s the magic altar that got my sister killed! I better stand in front of it and act like I’m casting a spell. That probably won’t end terribly at all!

Marcel’s Minions: Hi Sophie! We just stopped by to–

Elijah: Super vampire Batman powers activate!

Marcel’s Minions: Die in a shockingly violent, and nearly instant, manner.

Sophie Deveraux: I really just wanted to cook gumbo.

- Marcel’s Tavern of Terror -

Klaus: Hi guys! As you know, the bite of a werewolf is a slow, torturous death sentence to any vampire. And as you know know, due to my terrifying yellow contacts, I am half werewolf. So if someone doesn’t explain to me why Marcel is having me followed, I am going to bite the ever loving shit out of everyone in this room.

Marcel: Whoa whoa whoa, let’s not get all splatterpunk on the good hardwoods! And let’s also not talk at all about my dastardly plans! Would you like to see the view from the roof?

Klaus: …Only if it’s shiny. I love shiny things.

- Marcel’s Skyline of Sin -

Klaus: So really, why is it that the witches, who could make your head explode just as easily as they look at you, live in constant fear of your wrath?

Marcel: Mostly through rumors and bullshit, plus the occasional public execution. Hey look, a pretty blonde walking all by herself! Let’s stop talking about my plans, resources, and allies and go eat her instead! Super vampire getting out of an awkward conversation powers activate!

Elijah: Hi Klaus! I managed to accomplish in five minutes what you haven’t been able to do this whole episode!

Klaus: You got laid already? Who was it? Was it that hot Gumbo chef? Was she–

Elijah: I discovered the witches’ plan, jackass.

- The City of the Dead – New Orleans’ Most Dangerous Cemetery -

Sophie Deveraux: Hi Klaus! All the witches tell bedtime stories about you! And how you made Marcel the man he is today! But now Marcel is out of control and we’re gonna stop him and your gonna help us!

Klaus: There is literally nothing you could tell me that would make me even consider staying in this lame ass town and helping you lame ass lamers.

Hayley: Hi Klaus! I’m pregnant!

Klaus: …

Hayley: With your baby!

Klaus: … … HAHAHAHAHA! gasp HAHAHAHAHA! Oh that’s good! That’s a good one! Jesus, what is this, Maury Povich? Klaus Mikaelson, in the case of Hayley’s werepup, you are the stud! Jesus, vampires can’t have kids. It’s like one of the rules. And shit, can you imagine trying to base a show off of that idea? Fuck, that one of the hottest girls alive and stick a beach ball up her shirt, have her changing diapers and washing spitup? No one would watch that! And me, a creature defined by my lack of roots, chained down with a family? And can you tell me when, in the history of entertainment, a character or show was improved by adding a baby? Angel went to shit when Darla had Connor! And let’s not even talk about Cordelia! And there was that whole adoption fiasco on Gray’s Anatomy, that whole thing with Ross and Rachel on Friends … This is some bull shit, my friends. I can’t believe you thought I’d fall for that! LOL

Elijah: She’s serious, bro.

Klaus: … Oh. Well. Fuck.

Sophie Deveraux: And if you don’t help me take down Marcel, Wendy the Werewolf here won’t live long enough to see her first maternity dress!

Klaus: Okay then! Works for me! Sorry for the bad luck, Hayley, better luck next series!

Hayley: …

Elijah: Okay, let’s everybody chill the fuck out! If you want Marcel dead, I’ll go do it right now. It will literally take more time to get to the bar than it will for me to rip his heart out of his chest. Guy won’t even know he’s dead before they cast him in another show. Like, this is so completely trivial I can’t believe we’re even still discussing it. I can literally solve everyone’s problems with one decisive act of sexy, sexy violence.

Sophie Deveraux: Yeah, no, sorry. If you did that we wouldn’t have anything to do once our show gets picked up.

Elijah: You are so lucky Saving Hope got canceled.

- French Quarter of Fatherhood -

Klaus: Well fuck this, folks. I’m gonna murder the shit out of everyone in New Orleans, then take a vacation.

Elijah: Sorry, dude. You can either stay here and raise a werepire pup, or go back to babysit the Mystic Falls brat pack.

Klaus: Oh just fuck my life.

- Mikaelson Mansion -

Elijah (on the phone): Hi Bex! Klaus knocked up that slutty werewolf!

Rebekah: LOL! What a shitty situation! Oh, well, I’m gonna go do something vastly more interesting!

Katherine Pierce: Sorry Rebekah, we aren’t in this episode.

Rebekah: Oh. :-(=

- Marcel’s Tavern of Terror -

Klaus: So Marcel; I have recently come into some information that makes me want to murder the fuck out of ever witch that’s ever read Tarot in New Orleans, and I would ever so like to know what power you hold over them.

Marcel: Yeah, so about that … I love you and all, but I can’t go handing out the secret to my power. Besides, I’m pretty sure the writers haven’t figured out what it is yet.

Klaus: Oh, so you think you’re all powerful and important? A pretty little Prince in New Orleans?

Marcel: Baby, I’m not a prince, I’m the King! Now show me some res–

Klaus: Om nom nom tasty minions nom

Marcel: –pect. And suddenly I realize that I am in way over my head, contending with a power far beyond my ken or control, and I am very, very sorry. Oh no wait I’m dumb LOL let’s fight.

Klaus: Whatever, bro. That dude’s gonna hallucinate for a few days then die all over your carpet. Good luck doing anything about it!

- French Quarter of Fear -

Klaus: Well, look at that fine gentleman, painting out here in the open.

Cammy: Wow, that painting’s great! When I see a painting like that, it makes me think the guy is angry, maybe even afraid! So alone, but desperate for company! Wishing he could control his demons, rather than letting his demons control him!

Klaus: … I <3 you and would like to show you my paint brush.

Cammy: And I would like to have your babies!

Klaus: Yeah, sorry, that line just isn’t funny anymore.

- Street Corner of Sorrow -

Elijah: So New Orleans is pretty great, huh? Don’t you just want to stay here forever? Or for at least like five or six seasons? Maybe raise a pack of werepire pups?

Klaus: Yeah, you had me right up until the whole baby thing. Again. But I do want to kick Marcel’s ass a few dozen times, so let’s stick around and see what happens!

Elijah: Oh thank God. I am so totally typecast right now.

- The City of the Dead – New Orleans’ Most Dangerous Cemetery -

Elijah: So how do we do this?

Sophie Deveraux: Well, we could start by earning Marcel’s trust and confidence, making him think we’re actually his friends.

Elijah: So no sudden, sexy violence?

Sophie Deveraux: Yeah, no, the show would be over way too fast if you just murdered all of our problems.

- Marcel’s Mansion -

Klaus: Hi guys! I just dropped by to say that I have failed this city!

Oliver Queen: Oh really? Because I–

Klaus: Wrong show, sport. Anyway, I failed, but Marcel stepped up, so I’m all Team Guy I Could Easily Murder, totally supportive, not even scheming against you, nope, not me, no sir. And! I’m gonna heal that minion I gave wererabies!

Marcel: I should probably be very suspicious, but gosh darn it Klaus, you’re just so roguishly charming!

- French Quarter of Fear -

Klaus (on the phone): Hi Caroline! I’m in the French Quarter, starring in my own TV show, surrounded by great food, lots of art, a bit of magic, and tons of sex! If you’d like to come down here but leave your panties in Mystic Falls, you know my digits!

- Mikaelson Mansion -

Rebekah: And you want me to just pack my bags and move to New Orleans? Do you have any idea what the humidity will do to my hair?

Elijah: Because you’ve got better things to do in Mystic Falls? Like go to the prom?

Rebekah: I am going to sleep with that quarterback if it is the last thing I do!

Katherine Pierce: Hi Elijah! How about some sexy sexy sex?

Elijah: Yeah, no, thanks, I’m stupid.

- Castle Salvatore Damon’s Elena’s Detox Dungeon-

Damon Salvatore: Hi Elena! I brought you some blood!

Elena Gilbert: OM NOM FUCKING NOM

Damon Salvatore: Laced with vervain, because I’m a huge dick.

Elena Gilbert: I am so going to kick your ass next episode.

- Post Mortem -

Joss Whedon once said that Buffy the Vampire Slayer was about the pain of being a child, and Angel was about the pain of being an adult. Buffy therefore got to fight girls literally turned invisible by the apathy of her classmates and athletes who became demonic mer-men by their coach’s Russian steroids, while Angel join a law firm whose founding partners were literally the spawn of hell.

The same idea applies, I think, to The Vampire Diaries and The Originals. TVD is Elena’s story, the story about a girl coming of age, losing everything and everyone from her childhood, and learning to become the well behaved puppet of the Salvatore brothers her own person. The Originals, on the other hand, is about people who are already adults, who have already come of age, loved, lost, and moved on … and did it all a thousand years ago.

The difference is between people fighting to be Prom Queen and literally becoming the undead King of New Orleans.

In The Originals, we’re going to see a more adult look at the supernatural world. We’re going to see vampire politics and witches with day jobs rather than undead cheerleaders and werewolf basketball players. It’s the same universe, but it’s a different tone.

And I’m totally on board with that. I love Klaus and Elijah, but their time in Mystic Falls has grown stale. They are almost literally faced with the choice of going off and living their own (ancient) lives or sitting around babysitting the Mystic Falls brats. The Originals aren’t advanced by being around the Salvatores, and the Salvatores will always be overshadowed as long as they share a zip code with the most powerful creatures in existence.

Also, Marcel is my new favorite thing and I want him around forever. For that reason alone, I am super excited that the CW decided to pick up the show (not that there was ever any real doubt). I’m already more interested in Klaus v Marcel than The Salvatores v Elena ever making a choice on her own ever.

But, there is one issue. One minor quibble. The producers have seen fit a fairly common adult event: a pregnancy. In particular, they have made Klaus a baby daddy, Elijah a beaming uncle, and Faye a MILF-to-be. To which I say:

#######
#       #    #  ####  #    #
#       #    # #    # #   #
#####   #    # #      ####
#       #    # #      #  #
#       #    # #    # #   #
#        ####   ####  #    #


    #######
       #    #    # #  ####
       #    #    # # #
       #    ###### #  ####
       #    #    # #      #
       #    #    # # #    #
       #    #    # #  ####


        #     #
        ##    #  ####  #  ####  ######
        # #   # #    # # #      #
        #  #  # #    # #  ####  #####
        #   # # #    # #      # #
        #    ## #    # # #    # #
        #     #  ####  #  ####  ###### 

The Vampire Diaries is about as close to wish-fulfillment, shut up and enjoy the ride fantasy as it gets. Literally every single member of Elena’s family has died, and does anybody care? Hell no! So her alcoholic history teacher moves in and has awkward sex conversations with her? Big deal! So she hasn’t gone to class in six months because she’s too busy doing the nasty with a pair of reanimated corpses? Kids these days!

I don’t want to deal with the real-life consequences of this show’s premise. If that’s the route we were going down, Elena would be in a mental hospital gibbering to herself all day. I’m glad I didn’t have to see her sue to become an emancipated minor or whatever the hell happens when every adult in your life gets murdered horribly, I have no interest in watching Elena apply to colleges, and I could care less about who’s paying Matt Donnovan’s mortgage. This show is about pretty people having sex with and getting eaten by pretty vampires, and I’m good with that.

Klaus knocking up Faye is a huge shift from that. That’s the kind of real-life consequence I honestly have zero interest in. Klaus pisses of a coven of witches? Sounds like fun! Klaus has to juggle his schedule so he can make the scheduled mass slaughter and hit up Werepup’s dance recital? I do. Not. Care. I hate children, and I hate children in my entertainment.

I like Julie Plec, and TVD has one of the best sets of writers working in television today, so I want to give them the benefit of the doubt. But, I have never, ever liked an “oh shit we’re pregnant” storyline. I hated Connor on Angel, I hated the demon-spawn thing that killed Cordilia, I hate all of the fucking baby drama on Gray’s Anatomy … it just doesn’t work for me.

There was, however, quite a bit I did like about this episode (which is why I finally got off my ass to rewatch and write up this recap).

Elijah is a goddamn national treasure. As @rogerson_a pointed out, Daniel Gillies was basically born to play Bruce Wayne / Batman in the upcoming Justice League movie, and like @cadlymack said, I would watch an entire show about him just showing up. The guy knows how to make a goddamn entrance. A whisper of noise, a blur of motion, and then someone’s heart is laying on the ground.

So okay, maybe that last part isn’t exactly Batman’s MO, but work with me here.

Klaus is utterly fascinating, and I’m glad they’re giving him room to stretch a little. Klaus is defined by two intrinsic characteristics: he is utterly, crushingly alone, and he is batshit insane. Not “licking the walls because they lamp said they’re made out of cotton candy” nuts, but “if you say the wrong word at the wrong moment I will, for no discernible reason, murder this shit out of you and everyone you love, even if it totally fucks me, too.”

It’s brilliant.

We see this in pretty much all of Klaus’ interactions with Caroline. This guy clearly wants to jump her bones, but he’s also perfectly willing to murder her boyfriend or fucking kill her with werewolf rabies, and then he has the audacity to act like saving her was a favor.

That gives us plenty of believable tension for the new show. Klaus has absolutely nothing to fear from Marcel and his crew; Klaus is nigh on invulnerable, and no one, even the self-proclaimed King of New Orleans, has a chance in hell of taking him out. But, Klaus’ existential loneliness gives a plausible explanation for the fact that The Originals wasn’t one episode long, ending with Klaus covered in blood up to his elbows, surrounded by the hearts of his enemies, and wearing a Burger King crown. Klaus wants Marcel around … as long as Marcel realizes that he’s number two in the pecking order. Still, Klaus’ complete insanity means that every once in a while he’s just going to flip out and kill somebody … and probably a lot of somebodies.

Klaus is utterly charming and completely self-centered. He may actually be the most accurate depiction of a psychopath on television (if you ignore the fangs).

I’m also very excited to see a throwdown between the witches and the vampires. Witches have always played a strange role on TVD; they are, or should be, the most powerful characters walking around, but they always seem to be in the service of some vampire. Uncomfortable racial politics aside, it’s just strange that such powerful creatures are so willing to bow down to a someone when they could just as easily blow up their skulls with a sideways glance. Hopefully we’ll see exactly what Marcel has done to cow the New Orleans witches … and see the witches fight back.

There’s a lot of potential in The Originals … and one potentially ruinous plot choice.

On to the next episode!

0 Responses to “Vampire Diaries – S04E20 – The Originals”

  1. Joe says:

    Sooo, chances of baby-Klaus being all grown up with superpowers and an Oedipus complex by season 3?

  2. kesili says:

    Geek moment: I realllly want them to go the Star Wars route with this….have Elijah snatch the kid when it’s born, give it to a pair of normal humans to raise and have the kid grow up with Elijah as his hidden mentor and then come back and BAMF the place up.

  3. What? You don’t find Zola totally adorbs? How dare you! *jk* I don’t care much for kids either. I never saw Angel, so IDK how that screwed up that show, but I doubt we’ll have to see much of Klaus changing diapers, etc. I mean, if the MF crew rarely goes to class, but are still managing to graduate, I doubt we’ll be subjected to mundane daily crap in NO, either. Make sense? And in case I forget, could you please e-mail me; I want your opinion on something.
    NT

  4. Rachel says:

    Oh thank god its not just the fans who realized how stupid this baby plot is. How can they think that an infant is a good platform for a newer, darker and more mature show?

    A baby means responsibility and the originals arent responsible…they are all really messed up from their parents and they are violent 1000 year old vampires…sure lets make a show about them raising an infant…

    im sure people will love to watch that…
    not…
    seriously what are we on abcfamily now? Secret life of the american teenager? or should i say secret life of the 1000 year old hybrid….

    how can they think that an infant is klaus’s redemption arc? no….the only thing in the entire time weve know klaus as a character that has gotten him to show his humanity is caroline, his siblings, and betrayal (his hybrids 4×09)

    I dont see this show lasting past the first season if the baby at the center of this show

  5. T.S. says:

    I don’t like the baby plot either (and I love kids). It just doesn’t fit at all with my conception or expectation of the show. “Dexter” is the only show I can think of that brought in a kid and it was okay. I’ll watch the Originals because I love TVD, but it might end up being a train wreck.

  6. Thomas says:

    Joe: Season three? Try episode three.

  7. Thomas says:

    kesili: Even though I hope the best for this show, I doubt it’s still going to be on the air in 18 year ;-)

  8. Thomas says:

    Nina: I really, really hope that’s true. Email on the way.

  9. Thomas says:

    Hey Rachel: well, I am just a fan, so …

    But yeah, I don’t really see any way a baby will make anything better / more exciting / more interesting.

  10. Thomas says:

    T.S.: I forgot about Dexter’s kids. Which is kind of the point: I was so happy when they killed off his wife and sent the kids to Not The Fuck Here.

  11. Vic says:

    Your Post Mortem is so spot on it literally KILLS ME!!!

    Thank you for this, and I hope that you’ll recap The Originals when it starts airing as well…. can’t wait!

  12. Kate says:

    I’m with you; I had a very hard time getting pass the whole baby plot. I want to pretend A. it didn’t happen or B. it’s some NOLA voodoo and there won’t be a baby. BUT if that is the case let the audience in on the secret, everyone can be in the dark but we need to know.
    I want The Originals to have lots of sex, kill lots of people (not just supernatural’s) and see Klaus be this scary bedtime story we were first made to believe existed. I don’t want a domesticated family of original brandy bunch vampires.
    And you’re right, baby story lines ruin shows and Angel never did recover. And that was me liking both Angel and Darla – here I’m still not sure how I feel about Hayley.

  13. Thomas says:

    Vic: I’ll recap The Originals as long as the baby stuff isn’t too painful. Like I said, other than the bun in Hayley’s oven, I’m already more interested in TO than TVD. Fighting for King of New Orleans >>> Fighting to be Prom Queen.

  14. Thomas says:

    Kate: I agree. It would feel like a cop-out if the baby was some voodoo fakery, but I’d totally forgive them for it.

  15. Katie says:

    Living in Ireland means I was actually aware of BabyGate before I saw the episode and while I normally don’t like to be spoiled, thank god for this one. Because I honestly feel like if I had been watching it in blissful ignorance, my level of Fuck That Noise would have had me just stop right then and there.

    I was the biggest Angel fan in the world and it was an awful plot twist. Twilight already sucked so I’m not too worried about those comparisons, but you’ve put it in the exact terms that I haven’t been able to verbalise. I do not want kids in my entertainment. Fuck that.

    Like you however, I absolutely adore most of the other plot points, Marcel is awesome and I would pretty much watch Elijah and Klaus do anything at all and be entertained. Love your meta on Klaus’ character too, by the way. Again you put into words exactly what I couldn’t about why I love his character so much.

    Word on the interwebs is that Caroline et al. won’t know about the pup by the end of s4 which I think is quite telling. While I normally don’t like retcon, I am willing to overlook it if they fix this giant gaping wound to their show. Also interested in the speculation that the baby is not real, or not Klaus’ and is in fact a device by the witches to try and control Klaus…. maybe I’m just giving the writers too much credit or doing too much wishful thinking.

    I did love the episode I have to reiterate. I thoroughly adored an episode with no Elena. I adore Nina. Katherine can stay forever, but yeah. It was so refreshing to watch an Elena (and relative) Salvatore free zone.

  16. Eve says:

    Hi Thomas! Very happy to see this recap!

    _____________________________

    Marcel: I should probably be very suspicious, but gosh darn it Klaus, you’re just so roguishly charming!

    ____________________________

    Hahaha! Perfect.

    ____________________________

    Klaus is utterly fascinating, and I’m glad they’re giving him room to stretch a little. Klaus is defined by two intrinsic characteristics: he is utterly, crushingly alone, and he is batshit insane.

    ____________________________

    Yes he is, and I agree, he is a great character to watch. I don’t particularly like him but I love watching him.

    ______________________________________

    I’m also very excited to see a throwdown between the witches and the vampires. Witches have always played a strange role on TVD; they are, or should be, the most powerful characters walking around, but they always seem to be in the service of some vampire.

    ______________________________________

    I’m not excited about the witch/vampire throwdown for exactly the reason you said. Their “powers” are ill-defined and random.
    ______________________________________

    The baby plot: I don’t much like it either but let’s not worry about it, fellow fans, until we see how it goes. The writers could make it a non-issue very easily if need be, like Hayley could go off to an unwed werewolf mom home somewhere. There are a million ways to not have the baby dominate the plotlines.

    And these writers are very talented so I would not be surprised if the baby IS a plotline and the show is still good. We just have to wait and see.

    I look forward to the Originals, to seeing Klaus, Elijah and Bex not spending their time with teenagers. The “who’s gonna be King of New Orleans” plotline doesn’t interest me but I love the characters, so I’ll watch. :)

  17. Kate says:

    Thomas: I agree cop-out but I’ll take a cop-out over a baby. Oh and when they stopped to hear the babies heartbeat – it totally reminded me of one of those horrible pro-life commercials that allow us to “hear” the fetus. Man, I hated the whole baby thing.

  18. Lia says:

    TO was doing great for me until the baby plot. When I saw it and heard the words pregnancy+Hayley+Klaus I gave up and turned off my pc! lol

  19. Ellen says:

    Most accurate description of Klaus ever. Love it. Thank you.

  20. DJ says:

    As you know I love reading your recaps and rarely comment but I just wanted to show my support that I am soooo with you on this baby plot …. words fail me :/

    If it must go ahead, I can only hope that since there’s not a cat in hells chance of Rebekah becoming human, she can spend an episode playing doting aunt, then do the ‘right’ thing and send it to some nanny far, far away from NO – it’s a werewolf pup after all and Marcel has banished them. Then The Originals can have all the territorial battles and adult plot twist possible :) … or is that too far-fetched as well!!!!

  21. Maebe says:

    When I started the episode, I kept thinking how there wasn’t really much tension, because Klaus is invincible and nothing can kill him. I thought to myself, they really need to get something that he cares about, deeply, in order to produce some sense of worry/fear.

    But a baby? Hell, no. I was thinking more like a dog or a hot chick he wants to bang. Not a bleeping baby.

  22. Jawly says:

    I think the Originals is going to be a complete flop. Klaus could have killed them all but he seemed even more helpless than the MF brats in season 3 when everything was “Kill Klaus” but they didn’t know how. Why didn’t he just kill Marcel? Killing him would take away whatever his hold on the witches was. I’m not interested to see why he’s got them wrapped around his finger, and I don’t care about the stupid plot with Haley finding her family. Klaus could crown himself king at any time, but instead, he has to make a “plan?” Since when? At MF he tore stuff apart. Here, he’s playing nice? He’s even more of a pusscake here then when Caroline was stringing him along. Not interested.

    And as for the whole baby hate? Calm down Thomas. Unlike those shows, this isn’t a coming of age story. It’s Klaus we’re talking about here. Something big will go down by the end of the season. That baby will have some relevance sooner or later. Still not looking forward to the show.

  23. Anna says:

    I just had a quick thought. Hayley is a werewolf, not a hybrid right? What the hell is going to happen when she transformers into a werewolf?

    As much as I hate to bring this series up, Twilight actually handled this fairly well (It’s one of the few actual intelligent plot points in the whole series). One of the werewolves in Twilight is a girl, Leah, and she says that when he werewolf gene’s activated, she basically went straight into menopause. It sort of made sense.

    How is Hayley going to deal with this? It’s not even like Twilight where apparently the werewolves choose when they turn – Hayley has to turn every full moon. Unless Klaus has one last vial of Elena’s blood hidden in his closet and gives it to Hayley, they’re going to have a pretty big plot hole.

  24. Alexa says:

    Nevermind that Marcel can’t kill Klaus because Klaus is unkillable. Marcel can’t kill Klaus because doing so would kill him (and the entire cast of The Vampire Diaries as well). So unless something happens in that regard I don’t see Marcel as a good threat. Not a fan of his character either really.

    I agree that adding a child rarely does good things for a show. And without a timeskip, what’s the child really add to the spinoff? And with one, can you really bring Klaus back to TVD?

    Also, will Klaus leave Mystic Falls with some vials of his blood? Or anytime they need it, will a character disappear for a few minutes, and then return (I know Vampires have super speed, but they really do seem to get to New Orleans and back awful fast)

  25. Bailigh says:

    I don’t think Saving Hope was canceled, I think the decision was made to stop airing episodes in the U.S. I thought I read an article which indicated that Daniel Gillies would be filming both shows if the CW picked up The Originals to series.
    In regards to the baby, the baby exists because Marcel has f**ked with the balance of nature, if Marcel is dealt with is there really a need for the child?
    B

  26. Eve says:

    I don’t see a problem with Hayley turning at the full moon. So she’ll be a pregnant wolf. Happens all the time. I mean, to actual wolves.

  27. Daniela says:

    Thank you, Thomas, once again you’ve voiced all my feelings perfectly.

    I loved The Originals from the moment we got our first glimpse of New Orleans, Marcel charmed his way right into my heart and I knew this show was it, this show would have it all… until the baby moment. No. Just no. I thought we got past Twilight after the horrendous Pilot episode! As someone who has read all the Twilight books, I’m seeing just way too many parallels not to be creeped out. There could have been literally ANYTHING to keep Klaus and his family in NOLA and I’d get on board with it, because damn, Klaus vs. Marcel is gonna blow our minds and I’m thrilled to discover more about New Orleans and the witch community there — but I find the idea of Klaus, someone who’s emotionally unstable and needs to learn to understand himself, and Hayley, who’s really just a worse, more irritating version of Faye, parenting a child that shouldn’t even exist (talk about retcons) incredibly repulsive and I’m close to giving up on the show.

    I’m really disenchanted and disappointed. I had so much hope for the show… so much. The first episodes of the season better be terrific, because with the Originals gone and Kat presumably dead, there won’t be many reasons to go on watching TVD, and with a little weremonster to be unleashed in NOLA, there won’t be many reasons to give the Originals a second chance.

  28. Samantha M. says:

    I get your frustration about the kids. (Granted I do like mine, but I really don’t care to see everyone settling in the suburbs getting minivans in this show.). I honestly looked at the pregnancy from a different view. I think it has something to do with this power Marcel has over the witches. I think it is big and this baby is some key to shit.

    I also love how Daniel Gillies portrays Elijah. I wish I didn’t fangirl over him like I do, but I am only human. BTW, his show only got cancelled in the states, not Canada, but I am not positive he is still on it.

    Great recap as usual! Thanks again!!

  29. Sara A says:

    I get that the writers needed something big to lure Klaus away from Mystic Falls and Caroline. But the baby thing – urk. Based on how Klaus treats the rest of his family, he will be a really horrible daddy.

    The Klaus v Marcel thing is stupid. Klaus can kill Marcel without breaking a sweat. The only interesting thing about the new show is what sort of hold Marcel has over the witches, and I see that as a one-season problem.

    The Originals feels pretty weak, with no strong premise behind it. I’m thinking cancellation after one season, and JoMo and Daniel Gillies furthering their film careers.

  30. Regina says:

    Glad you mentioned Gray’s Anatomy! Can’t stand the kid stuff in the show now! I stopped watching out of boredom. It’s too much for me. I prefer my TV shows not to remind me too much of real life. As such, this is why the baby plotline is so annoying to me. Elijah treated it as a way to bring the family together and it seems like a way to redeem Klaus. Only problem? Children don’t redeem people. If that were true, we wouldn’t have so many neglectful parents and sad children in the world.

    I am hoping for something fake created by the witches to try and take Klaus down. All the witches would have to do to get Hayley on board is bribe her with info about her parents, works for everyone else. The fact that Elijah said he would either help Klaus or the witches depending on his mood makes me think that he would work with the witches if he thought it could in some way benefit/hurt Klaus. We’ve seen him do it with the Mystic Falls gang. Kind of play both sides, but never really be able to betray Klaus in the end.
    As it is, I really wasn’t compelled to want to watch the spinoff from what I saw.

  31. Thomas says:

    Katie: I almost checked out when they whole BabyGate plot dropped. And it did take me a week to finish this.

    Nina and PW both have a lot more talent than their normal characters let them show. Katherine and Ripper!Stefan are vastly more fun than Elena and Boring!Stefan.

  32. Thomas says:

    Eve: One issue I have, of many, is that I really like Phoebe Tonkin, and I hate the idea of her being relegated to the role of “chick who’s pregnant.”

    I don’t really care about “who’s king of New Orleans,” per say, but I think I’m going to love watching Klaus and Marcel squabble.

  33. Thomas says:

    Kate: This show was a fantastic ad for safe sex, sex education, and witch-induced abortion rights.

  34. Thomas says:

    Lia: I almost did the same. It was still hard for me to get through on the rewatch, even though I knew it was coming.

  35. Thomas says:

    Thanks Ellen :-)

  36. Thomas says:

    DJ: I’m actually kind of scratching my brain trying to figure out a way that the writers can dig themselves out of the baby-shaped hole without it seeming forced.

  37. Thomas says:

    Jawly: That’s part of what I was trying to get at in my little writeup about Klaus’ character. He could have killed Marcel in a heartbeat, but there’s a part of him that genuinely likes his little vampire offspring. He’s lonely, and he’s going to try to maintain whatever it is he has with Marcel for as long as he can keep his complete psychosis in check.

    And something that can make any witch bow down would be handy, even for someone as powerful as Klaus.

  38. Thomas says:

    Anna: I think it’s kind of lame that Hayley isn’t a werepire yet, and I hope that that happens before too long. And I can’t even begin to speculate about what happens the first time she turns.

  39. Thomas says:

    Alexa: The fact that killing Klaus would kill Marcel isn’t widely known. As far as I can tell, that’s a secret kept by the Originals and Team Elena. Klaus isn’t likely to let that fact spread too wide, either, because there are probably plenty of people who would love to wipe out 1/3 of the world’s vampires with one shot.

  40. Thomas says:

    Samantha M: It does seem like the werepup has some sort of “bring balance to the force” destiny on him. Or her. But yeah, the whole minivan thing. Ugh.

    Daniel Gilles did say once that TVD and Saving Hope are on opposing schedules, and that it would be possible for him to do both shows at once. I thought SH was gone completely, but it’s possible he’s still working for both.

  41. Thomas says:

    Sara A: They’ve managed to stretch out “Salvatores v Klaus” for three seasons now, and Klaus could kill them even faster than Marcel. I think there’s room for some interesting stuff to happen in New Orleans.

    You’re right, I don’t see the Magic Stick of Witch Whacking lasting more than the first season, but after that they’ll probably introduce an even bigger bad that Marcel and Klaus need to combine forces in order to defeat.

  42. Thomas says:

    Regina: Yeah, The Lady and I kind of checked out of Gray’s, too.

    You’re right: “well, my life slash relationship is totally fucked, let’s have a baby!” never, ever works, and I don’t see it doing the trick here, either.

  43. Jagna18 says:

    They should give Rebecca the baby.

  44. Laura says:

    Why are you so perfect? I think you’re one of the few people that have enough courage to call it bullshit when they see it, it makes me sick how other people wrote articles on how amazing this baby plot idea is, even though deep down they didn’t like it either, hell no one liked it, It’s so refreshing that you’re not here JUST for the paycheck,
    I think the pilot in general was full of loopholes, and most of it didn’t make any sense at all, it’s sad to see something with so much potential to be wasted in such a way, I hope they can fix it, there are a lot of ways, but knowing the writers, they have a thing for bad plots, loopholes and twists to cause shock, and make things worse instead of making it right from the root, it’s a shame really…

  45. TwiceShy says:

    Excellent recap and your analysis just NAILED it. LOVED your description of Klaus.

    I, too, liked the episode (writing, setting, characters, acting, plot) right up until the baby daddy reveal. I actually recoiled in my seat at that. It was jarring and I felt totally deflated. I agree with everyone’s points above regarding why the baby plot is a liability. But something else bothers me, too. A lot.

    I think the writers of TVD are incredible — individually they are AMAZING, and together they are even better. Seasons 1-3 for me ROCKED. I was dazzled.

    But Season 4 has been a train wreck for me. It’s been one long “hazy sire bond/murky cure” tap dance with a holy crap TON of “viewers please don’t think very hard about this” logic fails thrown in. Seasons 1-3 felt planned. They were tight and cohesive. Season 4 has felt like a panicked term paper written the morning of the due date, where you use BIG FLASHY WORDS to disguise the fact that you’re winging it. It’s been all over the place, loose as hell, inconsistent, seemingly going one direction, only to back up and contradict itself. It’s like they’re just throwing in plot gimmick after magic trick after fan service moment to temporarily distract us from the fact that none of it (the characters, the plot, the Originals, Silas, the cure, the sire bond) makes ANY sense. In previous seasons, even when there was a long term fake out (MOONSTONE) the LOGIC of it made sense. Characters and motivations made sense along the way. It was…deliberate,cohesive. Consistent.

    This season, I’ve kept watching, hoping there was some master plan, and that these were all deliberate writing choices that would make sense soon. Taken alone, individually, the writing for each episode is pretty solid. But not as a season. Taken as a group, the episodes feel like a bunch of VERY talented, VERY rushed writers wrote separate episodes but they weren’t operating on the same page or maybe they didn’t have a clue where they were headed from one episode to the next. The overall effect is disjointed storytelling and convoluted confusion.

    Now, 21 episodes in? Even if they clean it up and it ALL finally comes together in the finale? I’ve slogged through this mess for 21 episodes out of 23. And counting. If Season 4 had been Season 1 of TVD? I’d have turned it off halfway, no question. The excellence of seasons 1-3 have kept me tuned in.

    Hey, nobody hits it out of the park every time at bat. And TVD writing at its worst is still better than most television shows at their best. But they majorly struck out this season for me. I hope Season 5 is different.

    So I looked to The Originals with a lot of anticipation. I was so hoping that it would be different, too. And it FELT different. It felt more organized, tight. Right up until the baby plot reared its screaming head. I really hope they clear up the baby plot point FAST or just drop it.

    BUT…I KEEP remembering that I hoped the EXACT SAME THING about the sire bond nonsense. And that idiotic cure that I wish ANYONE would take so that they would all just shut up about it and move on. (Basically, I have major TVD trust issues now LOL).

    In Season 5 AND in The Originals, I hope they spend less time being fan-service flashy and more time on character and cohesive episode-to-episode logic. Burning plot for the sake of burning plot doesn’t work long term. It can’t succeed, alone in a vacuum, without SOME sympathetic characters, logic/cohesion/continuity, and emotional context. By itself it just degenerates into random things happening to random people, so nothing matters and who cares.

    I AM looking forward to The Originals. I’ll watch. But that baby daddy thing really JOLTED me and reminded me of what has gone wrong for me with TVD this season. It was a major flag. So I’m more… cautiously optimistic now rather than enthusiastic at the thought of the show.

    Thanks for your humor and insights, Thomas. I apologize for the lengthy comment.

  46. kesili says:

    But…Thomas….18 years of Elijah…how can we NOT campaign for that? Besides, that man ages really well. He just gets more attractive every time he leaves and comes back.

    /end obligatory Elijah fangirling

    I’m giving the baby storyline a wary side eye right now because I expected something a little more….global and historical in scale in terms of plots rather than the small-town day-to-day dabblings of Mystic Falls. I think that can still happen and we see it starting to happen – with a real city as a backdrop and implied real-world ramifications of what happens in each TO episode – and there’s no reason it can’t happen along with the baby storyline.

    THe storyline does get points for intrigue though. Like it or not, it is something that raises curiosity because it is unprecedented in the TVD universe, and it does indeed require something unprecedented and unique to the TO universe in order to pull the Originals away from TVD and to strengthen them as a family unit. Were there other options? Sure, but since they are going with this one, we should be patient with it to see how it turns out.

    In comparison, there is absolutely nothing bringing me back to TVD at this point. I think I would have given up TVD in favor of TO just by watching the ‘bookend’ Salvatore scenes alone…didnt even need to watch the New Orleans portion of episode to make this decision. Whether The Originals get picked up or not, this episode is for all intents and purposes the series finale for me because we’re back to the ping pong table.

    In the last couple of episodes, Damon whacked the Elena-ping-pong-ball out of bounds…and we’ve watched Damon and Stefan attempt to fish her out from under the metaphorical piano where she rolled (it’s just the worst down there…spider webs and actual spiders).

    btw…did they get their ping pong ball back? I dont know…I literally started watching 4×21, got to the first scene of the smug Salvatores, went “nope” and turned off the TV. That said…I hope you keep recapping anyways for fun and giggles, and thanks in advance for putting up with all this.

  47. Baileigh says:

    There was a moment where I did consider the possibility that their is no baby and it is all a ploy by the witches to get Klaus to do what they want which is get rid of Marcel. When you think about it who sent Klaus to New Orleans, it was Katherine of all people she hates Klaus with a passion. With him out of Mystic Falls she can come home.

  48. I don’t think necessarily any plot point HAS to be bad, it’s all in what they do with it.

    This could be (unintentionally or not) HILARIOUS.

    I’m picturing Klaus teaching little MacGuffin Mikaelson to play fetch with The Shiny Stick of Original Shankage and giving myself stress-incontinence.

    Or, like we said on Twitter, Bonnie stepping up with a Morning!Sickness!Begone! spell for Faye, and accidentally jump-starting every female vampire’s 28 day cycle.

    Damon: :::sniff sniff::: I’ve never wanted you more.

    Sorry, too easy.

    As long as Klaus doesn’t go get one of those hideous Nissan Cubes so he has someplace to put the stroller.

    Marcel made the best entrance to the diaspora since Elijah. Elijah and Klaus vs. Marcel has awesome potential.

    Marcel having the witches under his thumb gives him the ace up his sleeve he needs to be a credible opponent to The Originals. Klaus and Elijah having to follow some elaborate, stylized ritual instead of just performing a cardioectomy also balances the fight (as long as they don’t gloss over “The Why.” I’m guessing they have to remove whatever power Marcel HAS over the witches before the remove Marcel himself, so the witches can get their power back).

    Also, Marcel (as pointed out above) doesn’t know that killing Klaus equals committing suicide.

    So it’s going to be more of a dance than a brawl.

    Yeah, Phoebe Tonkin playing the pregnant chick falls under Misuse of Resources.

    But Marcel got rid of all the werewolves, and Klaus/Faye are about to drop one in his city. While I don’t see Klaus burping anybody, it IS *HIS* and any move that threatens it is going to be taken by Klaus as a sign of disrespect and attack on his honor. Klaus, as he demonstrated *IS* the Alpha Male among both Werewolves and Vampires.

    And as batfuck crazy as he is, that could lead to all sorts of beautiful slow-motion, set-to-music bloodshed. He’s an emotional little kid, and while Little Mutt may not be his favorite toy, he’s GOING to throw a tantrum if anyone else tries to play with or break it.

    Right now, I’m just looking at Bastard Mutt as the latest in a long line of TVD plot-devices… Amulet, Emily Bennett’s Grimoire, Gilbert Device, Moonstone, Magic Ring of Not Dying, White Oak Stake, Shiny Stick of Original Shankage… I don’t see it as an actual character.

    Also, the normal gestation period for a naturally occurring female wolf is 8 1/2 to 9 weeks. That’s a TV-series convenient timeline if they choose it. They could have it wrapped up before the 1st hiatus.

    Or, Bonnie could check the Expression Grimoire for an “Enchanted Coat-Hanger” spell. I can’t believe that joke keeps getting nothing.

    Elijah dropped Katherine like she was hot.

    Brave Bartender Black Belt Cami may be Klaus’ Achilles Heel moreso than any damned baby. She’s likes to watch dudes PAINT y’all! *facepalm*

    This could work, or not. Depends on if they focus on the right elements or come down with Writer’s Room ADHD.

  49. Thomas says:

    TwiceShy: Yeah, “recoiled’ is a god word. Ugh.

    I still think there’s an overarching plot for this season, it’s just that they aren’t focusing on it as sharply. Silas and the monsters from the Other Side are obviously what this season is building towards, it’s just that they’re kind of meandering their way there. Which is strange. I know that the main characters aren’t exactly paragons of self sacrifice and virtue, but you’d think they’d be at least concerned about the fact that the end of the world is drawing nigh. Instead, yeah, there are lots of little side-plots and tangents that really have nothing to do with the greater whole.

  50. Thomas says:

    kesili: The only way I see “the son of Klaus” working as a plot point is if he super-speed ages to adulthood and starts wrecking shit, but even then, there’s a “been there, done that” feeling from Angel’s Connor and Twilight’s Unpronounceable Abomination.

  51. Thomas says:

    Baileigh: I agree that that’s a possibility, but starting out the season with such a huge red herring just seems … wrong. I don’t know.

  52. katherine_fan says:

    I don’t like the pregnancy plot,but it’s not because I don’t like the pregnancy itself or because I have a problem when vampires have children in general.After all,Maya (the original vampire in Night World) could procreate and is one of my favorite vampires.I agree with Brian:there’s no such thing as a bad idea,it’s the execution that matters and determines if a plot is either interesting or horrible.I have a problem with how come Klaus is a hybrid in the first place.In season 2,we didn’t know how the Originals had been created,so when Elijah revealed that Klaus is a hybrid I thought ”yes!awesome!” (I love Underworld!).But when Rebekah told Elena that Mikael had to kill them in order to turn them,I couldn’t understand how it was possible for Klaus to activate his were gene since he was technically dead.If Esther had turned them via a spell without Mikael killing them,then I wouldn’t mind at all!But Klaus is dead,he shouldn’t be a hybrid and because of that,he shouldn’t be able to procreate.And ‘this is a loophole’ is the worst explanation and I’m sick of it!
    If there’s one thing about this pregnancy (and the whole show) that I can’t stand is that Klaus always gets away with everything and he always gets what he wants.He became worse than Mikael and yet his family stood by him and mourned his death (some of them anyway).He got to be a hybrid and created more hybrids.And now he has a third chance to have a family.Klaus deserves to die,he doesn’t deserve any kind of love and companionship.I feel sorry for the kid already!
    I loved Marcel,I loved the tour guy and Elijah is the biggest idiot for leaving Katherine to be with his brother!
    P.S. I’m really hoping this post makes sense.It’s Easter and I’ve had a lot of beer.I was actually having one while I was typing this comment! :)

  53. Thomas says:

    Brian: Okay, if Klaus actually plays fetch with the werepup, I will stand up and cheer. And if the literally name him Little MacGuffin Mikaelson, all will be forgiven.

    We tried to convince our boss to buy a Honda Element the other day, because they’re “practical.” He didn’t fall for it.

    I am intrigued by the source of Marcel’s power. And there could always be some sort of death curse: whoever kills Marcel dies horribly, or if Marcel dies all of the witches in New Orleans die, too, something like that. Basically something on the same level of the Original’s “if you kill me, you kill 1/3 of the vampires in the world” auto-nuke.

    I have serious doubts that anyone at CW HQ took the time to Google “werewolf gestation periods”, but a short-and-horrifying pregnancy would go a long way toward wrapping this up quickly. And Google tells me that a wolf reaches maturity in 2-3 years, which is still way too long, but it does give credence to the “hyper accelerated let’s get this little bastard out of diapers powers activate” idea.

    #EnchantedCoatHanger needs to trend during the first episode.

    Black Belt Bartender is looking to be the new Caroline. SHE GETS HIM, GUYS, SHE REALLY GETS HIM. So far, though, she doesn’t have any of Caroline’s spark. Of course, these days, neither does Caroline.

  54. Pauline B says:

    Hey Thomas ! Great recap, definitely worth the wait !

    “Klaus: … … HAHAHAHAHA! gasp HAHAHAHAHA! Oh that’s good! That’s a good one! Jesus, what is this, Maury Povich? Klaus Mikaelson, in the case of Hayley’s werepup, you are the stud! Jesus, vampires can’t have kids. It’s like one of the rules. And shit, can you imagine trying to base a show off of that idea? Fuck, that one of the hottest girls alive and stick a beach ball up her shirt, have her changing diapers and washing spitup? No one would watch that! And me, a creature defined by my lack of roots, chained down with a family? And can you tell me when, in the history of entertainment, a character or show was improved by adding a baby? Angel went to shit when Darla had Connor! And let’s not even talk about Cordelia! And there was that whole adoption fiasco on Gray’s Anatomy, that whole thing with Ross and Rachel on Friends … This is some bull shit, my friends. I can’t believe you thought I’d fall for that! LOL”

    This speech alone will make me buy your season 4 recap( you’ll sell them on Amazon ?)

    I sh

  55. Pauline B says:

    Damn, stupid keyboard.

    I was saying : I share your aversion for the baby plot-line. Can’t express how shocked I was. Julie, what have you done to our shows ?
    A few not-so-bad point though :
    – it’s not really a magical baby : I assume he couldn’t have gotten Care pregnant. This baby will be 100% human (well, with werewolf genes);
    – I still hope the witches made a spell to make people BELIEVE Hayley is pregnant.
    – It’s JP we’re talking about. She knows her audience, and how we feel about this twilight shit. So I’m giving her a chance to make it not suck.
    – At least, now I don’t have to fear the writers will inflict this ST to DE.

    Questions :
    If someone with werewolf genes turns into a vampire before triggering the curse, what happens ?
    Does it work ? Thus, Klaus could turn his kid once he/she is 20, provided he/she hasn’t killed anyone.
    Or does the transition fail the same way it does for people who were already werewolf ? Therefore Klaus will need Petrova blood to turn him/her into a hybrid.

    Can’t wait for the next recap :D

  56. Thomas says:

    Laura: Well, I don’t get paid to do this, so being here for the paycheck is kind of a non-starter. :-)

  57. Thomas says:

    katherine_fan: That’s true, I suppose, but I have never seen a baby plot that was well-executed enough to not make me hate it.

  58. Thomas says:

    Pauline B: Yeah, these will be up on Amazon, not too long after the season wraps. I’ve actually got to have The Lady make me a cover soon.

    The witch said that the werepup was “something new” that “nature was cooking up.” My guess is that it’s powers will be different from Klaus’, and somehow more dangerous, but other than that I’ve kind of given up on anticipating what the writers will do on this show.

  59. Ellyria says:

    You know, the episode when Klaus and Hayley did the nasty and I was screaming “NO NO NO!” at the screen, I *knew* it was going to come back and bite us in the ass. When Sophie was like “I have a special power to sense when a girl is pregnant”, I thought two things:

    1) That’s a really lame power
    2) They actually went there, are you fracking kidding me

    I hate kids on my TV (the only exceptions are soap operas and Charmed). Of all the plotlines to introduce in the back door pilot, they introduce a magical pregnancy? WHY WHY WHY?! /wrists Was that really the best they could come up with to keep Phoebe Tonkin around? I agree with you Thomas, fuck that noise.

    Also: If Daniel Gillies played Batman ever, it would become my new favorite Batman movie. I don’t care if all he did was swagger around the Batcave and random say “I’m Batman” for two hours. <3 Daniel Gillies and I've been a big Batman fan since I was a kid.

  60. Ana says:

    Thank you again for a wonderful review and for finding the strength to write it (I saw your struggle on twitter and I sympathize)!

    I REALLY enjoyed the episode up until the pregnancy. Marcel was incredible, Camille seemed pretty cool, and Sophie turned out to be pretty awesome as well.

    The pregnancy twist really shocked me in a negative way. I really didn’t understand what this plot had to do with anything, not to mention I think it’s a ridiculous idea for Klaus’ “redemption”.

    Babies need attention and I’m afraid that the plot will start to circle way too much on it. I wanted a show dedicated on the Originals and Klaus’ run for power and I hate the idea of some of that screen time being dedicated to the baby and “Oh does the baby need something?” “Gotta help the baby!”

    I’m just so puzzled as to why the writers chose this path, especially with the first episode of a new series, perhaps knowing many people would be against it. I have no idea where they are planning to go with this, but I hope they can end this idea and soon.

  61. Katie says:

    Thomas: I agree. Nina and Paul and hell even Ian are all absolutely FANTASTIC at their craft, I just kind of hate the characters they play 90% of the time. If they were all their alter egos it would be the best show on television, hands down.

    My heart actually goes out to PW because I know out of everyone he hates Stefan so much and it must be such a chore for him to play the character the way he is.

    I guess I just really don’t care for the triangle in any way and while everyone praises the compassion and the goodness that is the Golden Vagina, I pretty much lost any sympathy (not that there was much) I had for her when she committed genocide and everyone found it completely acceptable. Yes. She’s a real bleeding heart.

  62. nvo says:

    @Katie the only people who go on and on about Elena’s compassion is Stefan and Elijah and after this episode I think they’re morphing into the same person. blegh. Also the term “Golden Vagina” is uncomfortably mysognistic.

    I hope they’re not trying to redeem Klaus with a baby cuz he’d be the worst father ever.

  63. Gi says:

    Great recap, as usual.
    I am really upset over the original spin off. I had great expectations about it…
    the baby plot is the worst idea they could came up with. It’s an abused idea that never worked. They can have it growing up fast without losing all their credibility as writers, because then they would just have to stop to pretend that they didn’t copy the whole storyline. I can’t really understand how people that came up with really good stories decided the pregnancy thing was a good idea. I really can’t find a way in which that thing could work without ruining the show- and I really don’t believe that the writers will, either.
    Was that about having Tonkin staying around? Because I think another issue is that they decided that the girl knocked up was going to be the one of least successful character of the shows. To me Hayley always looked as a way to have Tonkin in the shows. Let’s be honest – if the character was played by any other actress it would have died in the fourth episode she was in. To me Klaus not killing her was quite the plothole. And they never managed to make her relatable or likable. And they could have – there was potential at the beginning: but they had her doing something terrible for something quite stupid (did she really needed to have 12 people killed to found out who her biological parents were? People have been using facebook for that!). We all love to see villains – we are having a spinoff about that – but they didn’t write her as one.
    If they really wanted to use the character they had so many other ways to do that. I really can’t believe that was the story they decided to write – something unbelievable, that they didn’t explain (nature’s loophole? Seriously?) that wasn’t “original” at all and that managed to piss off all the Klaroline shippers – and that is a great part of the Klaus fans out there.
    And even if the baby thing would have been enough to push me away from any kind of pilot, I found that rather weak. Klaus decided to ignore the big issue (like Silas resurrecting the father that has been hunting him for a millennium?) and instead let himself be involved in a plot to defeat someone he could kill in five minutes. I guess the thing is more complicated than that – and I really hope that they’ll explain everything in the show, but couldn’t they at least hint at it more in the pilot?
    Instead of, I don’t know, making up a witch that has the worst special power ever.
    And the worst thing – I didn’t like Klaus. And Klaus was the reason I watched season 3. I get it – Joseph Morgan being bad and emotional and crying was what made the character good, but that’s the ONLY thing Klaus did. I expected some season 2 klaus. The guy that killed aunt Jenna. Instead I had him crying in front of a painting. They basically built a show on Elijah being cool.
    I wonder if they realized what was the response -especially on the baby storyline. I mean, some reviews were good, but even those were quite doubtful on the thing and even asked for Caroline to came to the show – and those aren’t tumblr shippers. On the comments section I always saw 9 out of 10 review being against the pregnancy – and often that only, meaning that despite some (me as well) didn’t like the episode, they just have one big issue to resolve. But can they really do something about it? Or, are they going to?

  64. Sam says:

    I was really annoyed with this plot. Not only that, but I thought Klaus was out of character. He keeps crying. I can forgive him with Caroline, but not when he starts doing it all the time!

    And the argument that it’s a loophole in nature is stupid. Even in nature, hybrid animals can’t procreate because they become sterile (ex. Mule- half donkey/ half horse). They become a different species when they are mixed. So technically he is a different species than Hayley after becoming a hybrid and should not be able to procreate with her. Add to it that vampires are sterile, which is a rule they created in season one….

  65. sona says:

    If it makes you happy I don’t think the baby will be a big part of the show. Marcel will probably found out and he will threaten Klaus and there will be a tons of murder plans and sexy, sexy violence as you put it and it still has a potential. I think that the following episodes will be only better than this. I’m never completely hooked on any pilot – but I usually give it a chance and the characters grow on me.

  66. Audrey says:

    I totally agree about the baby plot! It never works! It was drf. Dumb on angel! Hopefully they have a plan that will please all! Other than that this does look promising!
    Great review! Very funny!

  67. Katie says:

    @nvo: I’m sorry you found my use of the term misogynistic and I guess on a superficial level, it probably is, being that you don’t know me.
    I can assure you that it was not meant in that way, on any level conscious or subconscious. I think you’ll find it’s a fairly common name in the fandom for Elena. I’m not making the excuse of “well everyone says it so its okay” but it is for lack of a better term, how she is portrayed in this series. Everyone is in love with this girl- whether guy or girl straight, vampire, everyone.
    I understand she is the main character but she is neither sympathetic nor deserving of such love and loyalty from the majority of the characters. I have never slut shamed her for the brothers thing, I have never even called her a bitch, to my knowledge and when the sire bond was revealed I worried openly on this blog about the uncomfortable connotations of that in regards to her personal and sexual rights and freedoms.
    It is used as a joke term because a huge portion of the fandom cannot for a second understand why everyone is so crazy about this character. there are probably more PC and less vulgar things I could call her but as I happily consider myself a feminist, who will fight for any girl to be anything she wants and to be open and proud of every aspect of herself, I use the term in a satirical sense brought on by the horrible writing of her character.
    Again, if you got misogyny from it, I apologise, but I can assure you that you will never find me being so about any female – be they real or characters in a TV show

  68. Tweeky says:

    My reaction to the revealing of Hayley’s werepire pregnancy was “What! The! Fuck!”, not only does it come off as a, sort of, thinly veiled anti-abortion add but it seems that JP is ripping off TWilight (A really shitty and inferior TVD substitute). Unless this is well written and thoughtout this is going seriously fuck “The Originals” before S1 is halfway through and if she her pregnancy does end it’ll be because JP&KW wimpout have her having a miscarriage (or some other plot device) and not do the smart thing and get an abortion. Anyway check out this funny “Honest Trailer” Twilight review, Thomas:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gugBiEkLwU

  69. Tweeky says:

    I’d love to see the some guy do such a review of TVD myself:-).

  70. A. Rogerson says:

    Thomas,

    Thanks again for the mention in your post mortem. The scene where Elijah saves Sophie was great. The drop in from above is a classic Batman move, minus the heart-ripping. I had to jump onto Twitter to react as I was watching it.

    I’ve been thinking some more about the baby, and I could see at least one somewhat interesting way to use it: Cast a spell that ties its life to Klaus – what happens to one, happens to the other. Bonnie did this with John and Elena in S2. And some relative of Bonnie did this with Kat and Elena earlier in that season. This would be a legitimate threat in my mind.

    Unfortunately, this will probably never happen because witches are far too dumb to live in this franchise. Thinking Klaus would improve her life compared to Marcel might be the worst idea any character’s ever had. And there have been some pretty dumb ones.

    Still, I dig Sophie. She’s brunette, snarky, sassy, edgy, and easy on the eyes. Almost reminds me of someone else…

  71. nvo says:

    @Katie oh it’s fine! I know most people don’t like Elena but it usually seems to be for reasons involving the Salvatore brothers rather than Elena herself. I think the majority of the fandom projects their mindset onto the other characters. They find Elena to be rather ordinary so why is everybody fawning over her? But if you look at it from the pov of the other characters it makes sense. Elena has died twice to keep both Matt and Bonnie alive. She’s forgiven the Salvatore brothers for atrocities that Jesus would call a dealbreaker. She threw herself in front of Damon with a stake for Caroline. She even gave Tyler a hug after he sold her out to a pack of douchey werewolves. The level of loyalty towards her imho is deserved.

    Of course you have every right to dislike Elena. I too hate all that compassionate bs because it narrows her character. Yeah she’s compassionate but the girl has done some morally questionable shit which is why I find her character so fascinating. And Stefan and Elijah’s refusal to see anything other than that annoys me. I just don’t like that Golden Vagina terms cuz it reduces her to her genitals. I just wish I could hear stuff like “I don’t like Elena cuz she’s a hypocrite” or “I don’t like Elena cuz she can be manipulative” or “I don’t like Elena cuz she’s self-loathing” She has real and actual flaws she can be disliked for. You know rather than “I don’t like Elena because everyone loves her” or “I don’t like Elena cuz her life sucks and she has the audacity to complain about it.” It bothers me that Damon can have a cry fest in the middle of the road about people’s expectations for him but if Elena bemoans the fact that she’s gone through six loved ones in 2 years she’s whiny.

    And this is way longer than I planned but thanks for responding to me I really appreciate it. I’m sorry if I jumped down your throat, you can see from the above I have a lot of pent up frustration. =)