Star Trek - 30 Second Review

Spoilers abound, tread ye carefully.

James T. Kirk is a troubled youth prone to emotional outbursts and acts of rebellion.

Spock is a troubled youth prone to emotional outbursts and acts of rebellion.

Thomas senses an Epic Bromance in the looming.

Uhura is fly.

Thomas really did just write that.

Bones, Scotty, Sulu, and Checkov are spot on.

Sulu has a freaking expandable sword in his backpack.

Thomas wants a freaking expandable sword.

When Your Only Tool is a hammer.

Every Problem looks like a nail.

Nero’s Only Tool is a planetary-scale strip mining machine.

Nero’s Every Problem looks like a geological disaster of unprecedented proportions.

Transporters, Phasers, and Communicators are still awesome.

The USS Enterprise still makes me want to be an astronaut when I grow up.

Time Travel allows J.J. Abrams to make a sequel, a prequel, and a reboot, all in one movie. And it makes sense. And it’s awesome.

Leonard Nimoy does the greatest voiceovers ever.

Space is still the Final Frontier.