In Which We Acquire a Corgi, And I Acquire CorgiPox

Galvin Manor – Lounge of Longing

The Fiancee: We should get a Corgi!

Thomas: Well…

The Fiancee: Super Fiancee puppy eyes powers activate!

Thomas: Okay!

Galvin Manor – Den of Disbelief

CorgisAreTooGoodForYou.com: Please indicate your level of commitment to this Corgi:

I would die for this Corgi
I would kill for this Corgi
I would kill my first-born child for this Corgi
I believe that this Corgi is the physical embodiment of our Lord and Savior

NoCorgiForYou.org: Please provide three character references, a veterinarian reference, a copy of your last three years’ tax returns, a copy of the deed to your house, and a DNA sample.

WeNeverHadChildrenWeOnlyHadCorgis.net: Sorry, we are only able to work with people having Prior Corgi Experience.

Thomas: I am going to murder everyone ever.

The Fiancee: Pout

Galvin Manor – Foyer of False Hopes

FreeCorgiWithEveryCorgi.com: We have a Corgi for you!

Thomas and The Fiancee: Celebrate!

FreeCorgiWithEveryCorgi.com: Just kidding!

Thomas and The Fiancee: Harumph!

Galvin Manor – Salon of Celebration

Thomas and The Fiancee: We can haz Corgi?

Pets Alive: You can has Corgi!

Pets Alive – Drive Through Corgi

The Fiancee: Wishy! Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy?

Thomas: Hello small Corgi!

Wishy the Corgi: I’m very happy!

Highway to Hell

Thomas: Who’s a good Corgi?

Wishy the Corgi: Fluffy fluffy fluffy!

The Fiancee: You’re a good Corgi!

Wishy the Corgi: Fluffy fluffy fluffy!

Thomas: Let me just scratch your belly…

Wishy the Corgi: Fluffy fluffy murder!

Half-Assed Hospital

Doctor Killemall: Hey, neat dog bite! Well, let me go ahead and not give you any antibiotics, and sew up all of those germs so they don’t get out!

Thomas: My vast medical knowledge leads me to agree with you!

Wishy the Corgi: This is going to be hillarious!

Galvin Manor – Couch of Concern

The Fiancee: Hey, did your arm have all those angry red streaks before?

Thomas: …shit.

Wishy the Corgi: I’m venomous!

Rome Memorial – Where Smart People Go to Die

Nurse: Well, if you’ll just come through… HOLY SHIT WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAND?

Wishy the Corgi: He tastes like chicken!

ED – That Stand for Emergency Department, Not, Um…

Another Nurse: Okay, we’re going to run roughly seventeen thousand kinds of antibiotics through you. Also, we’re giving you Vicodin’s big brother for the pain.

Thomas: I’m not really in any-

Another Nurse: Super RN narcotic drip powers activate!

Thomas: Whysh the room shpinhing?

–

Yet Another Nurse: So, would you like to spend the night in a hospital?

Thomas: …

Yet Another Nurse: Right! I’ll go get the admitting papers!

Wishy the Corgi: I get the house to myself tonight!

Rome Memorial – In Patient Impudence

The Seventh Nurse of the Day: …and here’s your room, and this is your roommate, Cory Contagious!

Cory Contagious: Cough, sputter, phlegm!

Rome Memorial – Midnight

Cory Contagious: Hey look, there’s a Bonnanza marathon! And it runs until six AM! Gurgle, cough, plague!

Thomas: …

Cory Contagious: Wait, I can’t hear anything, because I’m deaf! I better turn the volume up as high as it can go! Spasm, vomit, retch!

Thomas: Urge. To. Murder. Rising.

Cory Contagious: And the volume on the TV in the hall! Bile, wheeze, gurgle!

The Woman Down the Hall: Help! Help me! Help help help help help!

The Nurse: What can I do for you?

The Woman Down the Hall: …nothing.

Rome Memorial – Morning

The Nurse: How are you doing, Mr. Contagious?

Cory Contagious: I want to die! Twitch, ooze, decompose!

Thomas: I’ll help!

Doctor Badnews: So… looks like the infection is doing the exact opposite of healing, and we need to pump you full of enough antibiotics to drown a child. Can I interest you in a no-expenses paid vacation in one of our luxurious contamination bays?

Wishy the Corgi: I’m very expensive!

Cory Contagious: We can keep each other company! Pus, leak, infect!

Rome Memorial – Midnight

The Woman Down the Hall: Help! Help me! Help help help help help!

Cory Contagious: I can’t sleep! Necrosis, fever, contagion!

The Nurse: That’s okay. Since there’s no one else in the room trying to sleep, I’ll just turn on every goddamn light in the place, and blast another Bonanza! marathon at 287 decibels. Would you like a strobe light, too?

The Woman Down the Hall: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!!

Rome Memorial – Morning

The Fiancee: Say, can we go for a walk?

The Nurse: Sure!

Twenty Minutes later…

The Nurse: I meant down the hallway, not around the block.

Thomas: 0:-)

Rome Memorial – Day of Discharge

Doctor Badnews: Well, the infection looks like it’s pretty well gone, so you can go-

Thomas: Super Thomas getting the fuck out of this hellhole powers activate!

Doctor Badnews: -home.

Galvin Manor – Hallway of Homecoming