Vampire Diaries – S03E08 – Ordinary People

– Lockwood Estates – Cave of Everything You Know About History is Wrong –

Alaric Saltzman: Hi Elena! Want to go spelunking with me?

Elena Gilbert: …

Alaric Saltzman: I mean literally go spelunking into the caves that would overturn everything we think we know about pre-Columbus history in America, if I bothered to tell anyone about them.

Damon Salvatore: Hi Elena! Want to go spelunking with me?

Elena Gilbert: …

Damon Salvatore: I actually mean have sex.

Alaric Saltzman: Anyway, I’ve used the history degree I got at BobsLearningHut.com to translate all of these Viking runes! This one says “Niklaus,” this one says “Elijah,” this one say “Pull the goddamn dagger out of Elijah already,” this one says “Barbiepire,” and this one says “Eric Northman.”

Damon Salvatore: The one for “Eric Northman” is a guy who had his balls removed by a blond chick. Tragic story.

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