Vampire Diaries – S03E18 – Murder of One

Elena Gilbert: Hi Damon! I brought muffins! And my sneaking shoes! So where’s Alaric?

Damon Salvatore: Laying on the floor, naked and sweating. Guy stuff. So long now bye bye!

Alaric Saltzman: Is she gone? Because I have a powerful need for some nice, thick wood! Powersaw!

The Lady of the Manor: You don’t just HACK Garamond in HALF like that, RICK. UGH.

Stefan Salvatore: Guy guy guys! Length isn’t everything! Don’t forget the girth!

Alaric Saltzman: Well, that was invigorating, but I think I’m going to go turn myself in for murdering all those people.

Damon Salvatore: Do what because you something huh?

Stefan Salvatore: Please. I murdered more people than you when I got coffee this morning. If their name isn’t in the opening credits it doesn’t count.