Vampire Diaries – S04E03 – The Rager

– Mystic Falls Hospital – Damnable Dentistry –

Connor Jordan: Hi Tyler! I just incapacitated every police officer in Mystic Falls using nothing but some bailing twine and my own sharp wits! And now I’m going to paralyze you, stick a thirty-seven inch needle in your gums, and suck out some of your fang juice!

Tyler Lockwood: …I liked it better when I was just subjected to unrelenting pain and terror on the full moon. At least I could plan for that. Stock up on whiskey or something.

– Connor’s Double Wide of Doom – Meth Lab of Mythology –

Martha Stewarts Hybrid Home Journal: Ingredients: 1 part wolfsbane, 2 parts fang juice, 1 splash Doppelganger blood, vervain to taste. Simmer over a low heat in a bunsen burner stolen from the local high school, sprinkle with shavings of magic moon rock, let stand for 300 years, serve under a full moon.

Connor Jordan: Wow, the Mystic Falls Inquisitor has full-page articles on all of my exploits! I better cut them out and post them on my wall! That’s never bit anyone in the ass!

– Castle Salvatore – James Dean’s Ghost –

Stefan Salvatore: Hi Damon! I have a cool motorcycle and a cool leather jacket and cool hair and a cool pack of cool cigarettes rolled up in the cool sleeve of my cool shirt! Don’t I look cool?!?

Damon Salvatore: Yeah, almost as cool as I looked getting a wrist job from your “girlfriend.”

Stefan Salvatore: …I am so going to think of a comeback to that, and you better answer your phone when I do.

Damon Salvatore: Speaking of wrist jobs, have you seen Matt lately?

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