Vampire Diaries – S04E05 – The Killer

– Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry – Mystic Falls Satellite School –

Connor Jordan: Hi Professor Dumbledore! Thanks for sending me into a pack of werepire murder machines without any kind of hint or warning! Do you know how hard it is to kill one of those things?

Professor Dumbledore: You introduce them in Act One and then wait for the inevitable, three scenes later?

Connor Jordan: They kidnapped me! And tortured me! And took off all my clothes!

Professor Dumbledore: That’s a shame, really. Hey, speaking of nudity, there’s this witch in Mystic Falls that’s central to all of my plots, schemes, and machinations. If you could avoid putting any bullets or knives in her, that would be great!

Connor Jordan: I’m sorry, all I heard you say was “murder murder murder murder tea murder murder.”

Professor Dumbledore: Sigh. I’ll occupy her myself. With my ~~penis~~ bibliography!

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