Vampire Diaries – S04E07 – My Brother's Keeper

Caroline Forbes: Hi Stefan! As you know, odd social rituals are the most important thing in Mystic Falls, and I was wondering when you were going to show up to the High School Beauty Pageant of Doom 2012?

Stefan Salvatore: Sorry, but Elena is on Team Damon now, so I’m going to channel my sexual frustrations into sweaty, shirtless workouts and then probably murder a ton of people. I’m booked solid!

Caroline Forbes: What? Elena has feelings for Damon? The Damon who has saved her life countless times? The Damon who stood by her side when you went off and murdered literally hundreds of innocent girls? The Damon who didn’t threaten to murder her in the same way her parents died just to get back at Klaus? The Damon who was enough of a gentleman to not take advantage of her emotional weakness to get into her panties? The Damon who tired to help he get her urges under control instead of bottling them up like some kind of fanged time bomb? The Damon who tried to convince her to become strong and independent? That Damon?

Stefan Salvatore: I know, right? Like what the actual fuck?

The Lady of the Manor: Not even Caroline Forbes can make me like peplum tops.

Thomas: What in the nine fucks is a peplumb top?

The Lady of the Manor: See? You aren’t a complete girl!

Thomas: …Thanks?

Klaus: Hi Stefan! Remember how we talked about revealing Jeremy’s Hunter Mark so we could find a map so we could find a McGuffin so we could cure your girlfriend so you could have your sex doll back and I could have a hybrid-making blood bag again?

Stefan Salvatore: Sure do, boss!

Klaus: And remember how we talked about this being a super duper secret that no one should know about?

Stefan Salvatore: Yep! Mum’s the word!

Klaus: Then can you please explain this full-page ad in the Mystic Falls examiner, which reads, in part: “Wanted: Do you have strong urges to murder people with pronounced canines? Do you have dreams about slaughtering people who explode in the daylight? Do you have a magic tattoo that you don’t remember getting and that no one els can see? If so, call Hero Hair Enterprises at 1-800-4-STEFAN and we will provide you will all the cannon fodder you can stab (and tie you up naked so my girlfriend’s little brother can draw you (but don’t worry, it’ll be tasteful))”

Stefan Salvatore: To be fair, no one reads the newspaper anymore, so the chances of someone actually seeing that are slim to none.

Klaus: Good point!

Damon Salvatore: Hi Stefan! So I’ve been researching this cure, and in order to find the Magic Wobbley of Unvampiring, we need a hunter who’s killed enough vampires to reveal the magic skin map! And since we probably don’t want Elena’s brother to actually turn into a rage-driven murder machine hell bent on our painful destruction that we will probably have to murder, we probably should not, repeat should notjust start throwing chained up vampires at him like they’re getting shot out of a pitching machine.

Stefan Salvatore: Wait a second … throw chained up vampires at him like they’re getting shot out of a pitching machine. until he becomes a rage-driven murder machine hell bent on our painful destruction that we will probably have to murder, who also has a magic skin map to the Wobbley of Unvampiring? That’s a brilliant idea!

Damon Salvatore: …Oh god fucking damn it.

Stefan Salvatore: Anyway, I have to go into the woods to cry slash masturbate over my recent breakup. Tootles!

Damon Salvatore: …Wait a second…

The Lady of the Manor: I hate Elena-free, pissed-off Stean way less than regular Stefan.

Caroline Forbes: Hi Elena! Now, I’m your best friend and I will support you in whatever decision you make, but if you break up with Stefan and start sleeping with Damon I will personally cut your lying whore tongue out and staple it to the wall as an example anyone else who might dare offend the noble manifestation of goodness that is Stefan Salvatore.

Elena Gilbert: Thanks for all the support and not judging, Caroline!

Caroline Forbes: No problem, Elena! That’s what makes me awesome!

Professor Shane: Hi guys! Since there are only seven people still alive after last week’s series of odd gas main explosions, I’m here to judge the swim suit competition! Where are all the hot high school girls?

Caroline Forbes: Speaking of hot high school girls, have you seen Bonnie recently?

Professor Shane: Oh yeah, she’s tied up in the back of my van. It’s okay, we have a safe word!

Matt Donovan: Hi Jeremy! Your sister is making me take her to the dance tonight! It’s like she totally doesn’t remember ripping my heart out, trampling on it, and then rubbing my nose in all of the hot, dirty Salvatore sex she’s been having!

Jeremy the Vampire Slayer: I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the sound of how incredibly strong my secret vampire hunter tattoo makes me!

The Lady of the Manor: …Jeremy and Jeremy’s muscles are making me feel uncomfortable feels…

Stefan Salvatore: Let’s see … I need to murder someone, using Jeremy as a weapon, but I also want to pretend that I’m still a good guy! Good thing that Mystic Falls hospital has a convenient supply of convicted murderers that I can turn and then kill!

Klaus: Hi Caroline! I’m here to take you up on that date you offered me!

Caroline Forbes: Date what date you’re dirty and you’re disgusting and you’re British and you’re charming and you’re evil and you’re scruffy and wait why are my panties on fire?

Klaus: So, 8pm?

Heather Hybrid: UWAUGH!!!

Tyler Lockwood: Hi Haley! My girlfriend is going on a date with Klaus!

Heather Hybrid: RAAAAAGHHARAH!!!

Hayley: Oh, that is terrible. Yes, indeed, I am sincerely broken up about this. Truly, my heart weeps for the fact that Caroline’s affections may fall on another man. Woe.

Heather Hybrid: OH GOD PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!

Hayley: So … should’t we go to the dance together? You know, to “pretend” that we’re “fucking” “each other” so that “Klaus” will “believe” he has a “shot” with “Caroline”?

Heather Hybrid: WILL ONE OF YOU PLEASE KILL ME?

Tyler Lockwood: Yeah, sure, whatever. I’ll pick you up at seven.

Heather Hybrid: MY EXISTENCE IS PAIN!!!

The Lady of the Manor: Fayley makes a fantastic dominatrix.

Jeremy the Vampire Slayer: Hi Elena! Choke stab smash bang boom murder death kill!

Elena Gilbert: Alas! For I am dead!

Jeremy the Vampire Slayer: Wait, it was all a dream! And what’s this? I carved a Hunter’s mark on this stake while I slept? How odd! Usually when I dream about a girl it isn’t my sister, and I wake up holding a totally different kind of wood!

Jeremy the Vampire Slayer: And then I choked her! And Then I woke up! And then I my stake had a hunter’s mark on it!

Matt Donovan: Yeah, I hate nocturnal whittling.

Jeremy the Vampire Slayer: I’m worried that my Magic Ring of Not Dying (And Going Batshit Insane And Murdering Everybody) is making me go batshit insane!

Matt Donovan: Well, that’s one possibility. The other possibility is that you’re a new vampire hunter, and your Magic Tattoo of Vampire Slaying is making you want to, you know, slay vampires.

Jeremy the Vampire Slayer: That’s crazy talk!

Matt Donovan: Seriously, it says so right here in the Newbie Vampire Slayer’s Handbook.

Jeremy the Vampire Slayer: Whatever, dude. You’re just jealous of my sweet ink that no one else can see.

Stefan Salvatore (via text message): Hi Jeremy! Need to turn you into a homicidal maniac so I can get laid again! Meet my in the Lockwood Slave Pen! And don’t tell anyone else! -XOXO Stefan

April Young: Oh no! I can’t decide which dress to wear!

Caroline Forbes: You should wear the blue one!

Elena Gilbert: I totally agree!

Damon Salvatore: I like red!

Elena Gilbert: Please do epic amounts of sex to me!

Caroline Forbes: Wait what?

Elena Gilbert: I meant … yeah, the red one. Totally the red one.

Elena Gilbert: Damon Hi Damon I need to talk to you Damon! I broke up with Stefan Damon! Because I think I love you Damon! All I can think about is your penis Damon! Like I went to Starbucks and they asked what I wanted to drink and I was like Damon’s penis! And then I went to Dunkin Doughnuts and they asked what I wanted for breakfast and I was like Damon’s penis! And then Caroline asked me what I was wearing to the ball and I was like Damon’s penis!

Damon Salvatore: Hold on, I have to order an industrial sized jar of lube, an economy box of condoms, and Barry Manilow’s greatest hits.

Elena Gilbert: Wow, you can do all of that from your phone?

Damon Salvatore: With Windows Phone 8, I sure can!

Damon Salvatore: So Professor Shane, what’s the scoop on tracking down vampire slayers?

Professor Shane: Well, you could start with that guy over there, currently jamming pieces of wood into random stranger’s hearts!

Damon Salvatore: Why am I the only person who realizes that turning Elena’s brother into a mass murdering psycho is a bad idea?

Professor Shane: Whatever dude, I have to go watch some high school girls strut around in high heels and bikinis!

Damon Salvatore: You do that. Remember, no pity votes for April Young, even if you murdered her father.

Stefan Salvatore: Hi Jeremy! Can I interest you in murdering another guy who has never done anything to you in the probably vain hope of helping your sister?

Jeremy the Vampire Slayer: Boy can you! Super vampire slayer vampire slaying powers activate!

Stefan Salvatore: Good work, Jeremy! Now if you’ll just –

Jeremy the Vampire Slayer: Super vampire slayer Stefan stabbing powers activate!

Stefan Salvatore: My foolproof plan may have developed complications!

Caroline Forbes: Bus boy! Pick up those empty glasses! String quartet! Pick up the tempo! Klaus! Pick up my panties! I seem to have dropped them on the ground at your feet!

Caroline Forbes: And now I’d like to introduce our debutantes and their escorts! Except for April’s escort, who is currently plotting the murder of his own sister!

April Young: My babysitter was killed by psychotic bunny rabbits! It was an adorable way to die!

Matt Donovan: I would be honored to escort you to my untimely demise, m’lady!

Damon Salvatore: Hey, does the way Matt stepped up to escort April remind you at all of the way I stepped up to escort you last year?

Elena Gilbert: Yes it does and in other news please have all of sex with me.

Damon Salvatore: Check please?

Caroline Forbes: Elena! Where is your brother! Why is he not dancing with April!

Elena Gilbert: It might have something to do with all the homicidal dreams and visions he’s been having, but that’s just a guess.

Damon Salvatore: Okay, everybody relax. I’m sure Jeremy is fine, but I’ll go check on him just to be sure!

Caroline Forbes: Oh right! When has Damon ever been right, or helpful, or useful?

Thomas: Would like to introduce you to a little show called The Vampire Diaries, particularly seasons One, Two, Three, and Four.

Caroline Forbes: Elena Effing Gilbert! I can’t believe that you’re planning to do the sex to a disgusting, murderous bastard like Damon Salvatore! And now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go plan to do the sex to that guy who murdered you that one time!

Damon Salvatore (on the phone): Hi Stefan! Just wanted to make sure you weren’t actually doing something as stupid as turning Elena’s brother into a homicidal death machine hell bent on murdering her. I mean, that would just be crazy, right?

Stefan Salvatore (on the phone): Hey, funny story …

Caroline Forbes: I don’t understand why Elena is so into Damon! Damon is gross and a murderer and a schemer and a scammer and … why are you laughing?

Klaus: LOL THIS IS GOING TO BE HILARIOUS WHEN YOU FIGURE IT OUT LOL

Hayley: Hey, is that your airquotes girlfriend airquotes having a legitimately good time with the guy who almost murdered the entire town last season?

Tyler Lockwood: Yeah, if you could stop rubbing salt in that particular wound, that would be awesome.

Hayley: I’d rather rub something else, if you know what I mean.

April Young: Hi Jeremy! Thanks for standing me up and making me look like a fool in front of the entire town!

Jeremy the Vampire Slayer: Sorry April! I was busy plotting the death of my own sister! Just like your dad would have wanted! BRB, gotta commit a murder.

Damon Salvatore: Hi Shane! I’m really interested in finding a cure for Elena’s being interesting, and I’m seriously considering murdering you to make it happen!

Professor Shane: Bad idea, Damon, because in order to unlock the cure, you need the elhp of a witch! A very particular witch! A witch that only I can help!

Damon Salvatore: …You don’t mean…

Professor Shane: Yes I do!

Damon Salvatore: …It can’t be…

Professor Shane: It sure can!

Damon Salvatore: …It’s not…

Professor Shane: It sure is!

Bonnie Bennet: Say my name, bitch! Say it!

Carol Lockwood: And now for the moment absolutely no one gives a shit about, here’s my son’s ex-hussy to tell you that April Young is the new Miss Mystic Falls!

April Young: I won! I really won! You all love me! Just like my mother loved me before being torn to pieces by rabid squirrels!

Elena Gilbert: Hi Jeremy! I’ve been worried about you! Hey, what’s up with that wooden stake? And that wrist-mounted pain cannon? And that head-chopping machete? And that crossbow? And that-

Jeremy the Vampire Slayer: Super vampire slayer stabbing my sister in the neck powers activate!

Elena Gilbert: Okay, I guess that’s fair. Eye for an eye and all that.

Matt Donovan: Hi Jeremy! I’d like to take this opportunity to recommend you not murder your sister in cold blood. Get it? Cold blood? Because she’s a vampire, so her blood is cold? I’m not helping, an I?

Stefan Salvatore: Super Stefan trying to undo the epic clusterfuck I created powers activate!

Elena Gilbert: Thanks Stefan! You saved my life!

Stefan Salvatore: Aw, it was nothing! I just-

Elena Gilbert: Now I can get back to doing all of the sex with your brother!

Stefan Salvatore: …god damn it.

Hayley: Hi Tyler! I found out I was a werewolf when I drank, drove, and crashed my boat into somebody’s head! Then I turned into a dog and peed on my adopted parent’s carpet! And then they kicked me out! What happened to you?

Tyler Lockwood: Someone who looks exactly like Elena but with more style and less boring compelled Matt to murder me and I managed to break the spell but then Not!Elena’s backup plan kicked in and a girl tried to stab me to death with a fire poker and I shoved her away and she fell and hit her head on thirty two tables and broke her noggin and then the moon was like HELLO and I was like WOOF and Not!Elena was like GET ME THE MOON STONE and then that was all a JOKE and you know what I forget the rest, just buy the DVDs.

Hayley: …I kind of hate this town.

Caroline Forbes: Hi Klaus! Did you ever thing about taking the cure yourself?

Klaus: HAHAHA I AM THE MOST POWERFUL CREATURE ON THE PLANET AND YOU ARE CLEARLY MENTALLY CHALLENGED HAHAHA

Caroline Forbes: …

Klaus: Okay there was this one time I saw a humming bird and it was so cute and so fragile and I thought I might like to be cute and fragile but it was ONLY THAT ONE TIME and besides if I took the cure I’d just become a werewolf and then my bones would shatter ever full moon and what’s the fun in that am I right?

Stefan Salvatore: Hi Elena! I’m starting to think that killing vampires makes vampire hunters want to kill vampires ever more!

Elena Gilbert: …You mean THE EXACT FUCKING THING everyone has been saying for weeks now? You’re starting to think that might be a thing? Is that what’s happening now? Hold on, my magic hoo haa needs to go wrap itself around someone with a couple of brain cells, I’ll be right back after I’ve made all of the vampire babies. Jesus.

Matt Donovan: Hi Jeremy! It suddenly occurred to everyone that maybe living with and being supervised by a bunch of vampires wasn’t the greatest thing in the world for a baby vampire hunter! And since I’m wearing Damon’s “nobody makes sense but me” hat today, I thought I’d move in and keep an eye on you!

Jeremy the Vampire Slayer: That’s great, but where’s my sister going?

Matt Donovan: I don’t know, but she was packing all of her fancy underwear …

Elena Gilbert: I Stefan! I can’t stay at home anymore, since you turned my brother into a homicidal maniac bent on my destruction, and since I technically own this house …

Stefan Salvatore: No, it’s cool, I’m going to go watch Sex in the City II and eat a tub of ice cream with Caroline. Then we’re going to do each other’s hair!

Damon Salvatore: That’s a great idea! Me and Elena are going to do each other, too!

Stefan Salvatore: Do each other’s what?

Damon Salvatore: …

Elena Gilbert: …

Stefan Salvatore: Oh.

Heather Hybrid: PLEASE TELL ME IT’S OVER!

Tyler Lockwood: Okay, it’s over!

Heather Hybrid: You’re lying to me, aren’t you?

Tyler Lockwood: Yeah, you’re totally going to die a terrible, painful death in order to fulfill Team Elena’s plans. Sorry!

Hayley: Hi Professor Shane! Tyler just sent me a text message telling me we’re one step closer to our secret evil plan of world domination!

Professor Shane: Great! Boy, I sure wonder if your feelings for Tyler will make you betray me in order to protect him!

Hayley: Nah, what are the odds of that!

Elena Gilbert: Hi Damon! I’ve just realized that you are literally the only person who loves me for who I am, respects me, and consistently acts in my best interests instead of for your own selfish ends!

Damon Salvatore: Hey! Keep your voice down! I have a reputation to maintain!

Elena Gilbert: Also, when I was watching April dance with my old boyfriend because my brother was too busy assembling weapons with which to kill me, it made me remember that time we danced! And now I want to dance with you again! And by “dance” I mean roll around without very much clothing on at all!

Damon Salvatore: Elena, I want you to be sure that-

Elena Gilbert: Super Elena tearing Damon’s clothes off and showing him the night of his life powers activate!

Team Stelena: Dies from self-inflicted gunshot wound.

Team Delena: Dies from self-inflicted orgasm.

Twitter: Fucking explodes.

Caroline Forbes: I don’t understand it! Damon is so evil! And you’re so good! You were meant to be together!

Stefan Salvatore: That’s what I keep saying! Hey, remember that time I murdered all of those innocent people?

Caroline Forbes: Yeah, that was wacky!

Stefan Salvatore: Oh, and that time I threatened to throw Elena of Dead Parent Bridge just to make Klaus mad?

Caroline Forbes: That was hilarious!

Stefan Salvatore: Oh, and that time I convinced you to murder an innocent guy who was actually just trying to help us out!

Caroline Forbes: That one’s going on the highlight reel!

Stefan Salvatore: Oh yeah, and that time I turned her brother against her, and pretty much ensured that we’re going to have to slaughter him in the very near future!

Caroline Forbes: Exactly! You’re always doing what’s best for Elena! I can’t believe she’s not here right now, apologizing profusely with blow jobs and beer!

Damon Salvatore: Wink wink wink!

Elena Gilbert: Nudge nudge nudge!

Team Delena: Fap fap fap!

Team Stelena: Cut cut cut!

The Lady of the Manor: I love me some Damon, but I just cannot watch Ian and Nina together.

Thomas: …I do not share this problem.

Caroline Forbes: Of course! Elena is Sired to Damon! I mean, he said she needed to drink human blood, and she needed to drink human blood! And he said he liked the red dress, and she liked the red dress! And he said he loved her, and she acted like the last three seasons of build up, earned trust, and intimacy actually meant something!

Stefan Salvatore: OH MY GOD YOU’RE RIGHT!

Team Stelena: OF COURSE OF COURSE OF COURSE!

Team Delena: BRB, crafting a letter bomb for Julie Plec.

The Plot: Thickens.

Like I said last week, Stefan isn’t a good guy. What he is is a tragic hero.

He tries to do the right thing, he really does. He tries to keep the Ripper under control. He tries to keep the people he loves safe. He tries not to let innocent people get hurt. But, he has a tragic flaw that keeps thwarting his efforts, leading to inevitable disaster.

Now, you could argue that that “tragic flaw” is being a fuck-brained idiot who should just listen to his goddamn brother every once in a while, but that’s neither here nor there.

Take blood drinking, for example. Stefan is so terrified of the monster inside of himself that for the most part he refuses to even consider drinking human blood.He takes those dark urges and locks them down tight, shoves them under the bed and hides them. And it works. For years. For decades.

But.

Ninety percent of alcoholics relapse within four years of getting sober. The statistics are the same for drug users and sex addicts. The thing that made them addicts in the first place never really gets defeated, it just gets suppressed. And the relapse mechanism is built in to our psyche.

The same is true of Stefan. He never learns to control his urges, to master his darkness. He just hides it, bottling it up until the pressure makes him crack. And when it does, all those years of denial suddenly demand to be satisfied.

Damon’s approach is actually more sensible. He doesn’t deny himself, and he often even enjoyshimself. Because he’s learned to control his hunger, rather than letting the hunger control him, he isn’t prone to the same multi-state killing sprees as his brother.

But Stefan won’t, can’t, hear that. In Stefan’s mind, abstinence isn’t just the best policy, it’s the only policy. So much so that he tried to inflict the same thing on Caroline and Elena. He was so sure that he was right, that he just had to deny himself more, that he risked turning both girls into mirror images of himself.

He tries to do the right thing, but his methods are flawed. And sometimes, “the right thing” is very narrowly defined.

Right now, making Elena human again is “the right thing.” Sure, she said she never wanted to be a vampire, and he (and Caroline) could argue that finding the cure is the right thing to do. But Stefan doesn’t just want Elena human, he wants her to be hisagain. He isn’t motivated by what’s best for Elena, he’s motivated by his own … hunger.

And when he starts to tap into that hunger? Everyone around Elena is in trouble.

That’s why he went on that murder spree last summer. For Elena. That’s why he did Klaus’ evil bidding for months on end. For Elena. That why he willingly became the Ripper again. For Elena.

And now Elena “needs” Stefan’s help again. Stefan tries to do the right thing. He finds murderers to kill, so that his conscience will be clean. But the fact that he’s forcing Jeremy to kill, and to become an engine of death that will very certainly go after his own sister, doesn’t bother him. This is for Elena. Everyone else is collateral damage, just like all those sorority sisters from last summer.

Stefan’s trying to be the good guy, and thatis what makes him a villain.

And that is fantastic drama. I fucking lovethis characterization of Stefan, and I love Paul Wesley’s portrayal of it. This is both great writing and great acting. I love the Ripper, and I love the Ripper dressed up in Hero Hair.

What I don’t love is how nobodyon the show (aside from Damon) seems to realize this. In particular, Caroline.

Caroline’s hatred of Damon is completely justified. He used her, abused her, fed from her, terrorized her, and tried to kill her. That isn’t something you get over or forgive. It would be completely out of character for Caroline to be on Team Damon orfor her to be okay with Elena taking a ride on the elder Salvatore.

What doesn’tmake sense is how tirelessly she defends Stefan. Damon is evil, but Stefan is awesome! Damon is selfish and destructive, but Stefan’s love is epic!

Epic, sure. In the same way Greek tragedy is epic.

Stefan’s epic love for Elena resulted in hundreds of innocent deaths. Stefan himself terrorized Elena in a way Damon couldn’t have dreamedof harrowing Caroline. Stefan’s love for Elena made him turn her own brother against him … and into a monster that the Salvatores may very well have to kill.

There is no way Caroline should be blind to this, and no way she should be cheering for Stefan and Elena to be together. Their love is toxic, to themselves and to everyone around them.

I know Damon’s blood turned Caroline, but I honestly thing she’s somehow sired to Stefan. It’s the only explanation for why she’s clinging to Stefan’s jock so hard.

Or maybe, just maybe, Caroline is cheering so hard for Stefan because of her own dirty little secret. She’s falling for Klaus. Not because she has to pretend in order to keep Tyler safe, but for real. Something about him, his charm, his accent, the way he saved her life by explaining that eternity might not be so bad after all, or hell, maybe it’s just the pony he drew for her … Caroline is falling, hard.

And she probably hates herself for it. She hates that she’s betraying Tyler, she hates that she’s falling for a monster – again – she hates that she’s not really the good little girl she pretends to be. So maybe her hatred of Elena and Damon is a bit of projection? It’s possible. Because otherwise Caroline is just a huge, huge hypocrite.

Now let’s talk about siring.

Delena finally happened, for real, and then it was instantly yanked away by those cruel, poopey-headed writers. What the fuck do you mean Elena is sired to Damon? What, so he just fucking raped her? Had sex with her against her will? Bullshit! Fuck you! Death threats!

Hold on.

First, it’s been clear for a long time now that Elena has romantic feelings for Damon. That didn’t start when she became a vampire, although it did increase in intensity. And Damon didn’t forceElena into anything. Even if her actions were totally because of Damon’s blood, he didn’t know that. He didn’t violate her.

But this, like the whole cure plotline, has the potential to be awesomely dramatic.

To tell a good story, you have to walk a very fine line between denying the audience what they want without destroyingall hope.

If you just give the audience what they want, there’s no reason to watch. Oh well, Damon and Elena will be happy together forever with no conflict and no excitement and hey I wonder what’s on another channel?

The only kind of entertainment that can get away without conflict is porn, and despite how hot some of the scenes on this show can get …

You have to have conflict. You have to have tension. You have to have your characters come this closeto happiness, and then you have to yank it out of their grasp, because otherwise, what story are you going to tell?

But in addition to conflict, you need two other things: advancement and hope.

I said a couple of weeks ago that TVD was in danger of losing Delena fans because of the eternal cock teasing. There comes a point where the audience just looses hope, where they come to believe that they’re nevergoing to get an emotional payoff … and when that happens, they just stop watching.

For a story to work the characters always have to be advancing toward a goal. Even thought they suffer setbacks, they have to be moving forward.

So here’s what the TVD writers did: they let the characters advance – Damon and Elena had sex! – and they immediately added more complication. Wait, Elena is sired to Damon? Does that mean she doesn’t really love him?

Here’s what I think is going to happen. Elena’s feelings for Damon will prove to be real, and she is no longer going to be the one doubting their relationship. Instead, Damon will worry that Elena is only acting like she loves him because of the Sire bond, and Damonwill be the one moving away.

Damon finally has the one thing he most desperately wants … and he’s going to take it away from himself.

And that is some fine fucking drama. The people writing this show? Know what the fuck they are doing. Delena fans now have hope: Elena and Damon both realize they love each other, and they even acknowledge that fact with tasteful nudity! But there’s still conflict: now Damon is unsure that he’s right for Elena.

I also want to quickly mention how TVD and Twilight treat free will. In TVD, being sired, having your free will taken away, is seen as an evil to be overcome. In Twilight, on the other hand, imprinting (which has a similar affect to being sired) is seen as the highest form of love. Twilight argues that the truest love is the one you can’t chose not to give. TVD argues that without choice, it isn’t love at all.

I think you know which side I come down on.

Quick thought: even if Jeremy complete’s the hunter’s mark … why would he help them when his sole motivating force will be the murder of vampires? He’s not going to help Stefan if he was willing to kill his own sister, and that’s just going to get worse the more vampires Jeremy kills. This plan? Is not well thought out.

Also, I love that Faye is working for the bad guy. Phoebe Tonkin is a fantastic actress, and I’m excited to see her have more to do. Also: I noticed that she’s in the opening credit crawl now. Yay!

Finally: I love Hulu’s description of ths episode: Damon seeks to uncover Professor Shane’s motives! Yep, that’s the most important thing that happened this week …