The Vampire Diaries – S02E13 – Daddy Issues

Previously, on The Vampire Diaries…

The Producers: So, the CW has been taking a lot of heat lately. Something about Smallville and Supernatural, and something about burning the place to the ground and salting the earth.

The Writers: Well that certainly doesn’t sound good…

The Producers: No. And we aren’t immune, either. People aren’t in love with Tyloline, they think Elena has become a little too dumb to live in a horror movie, they’re afraid that Damon is losing his edge…

The Writers: What can we do?!?

The Producers: There’s only one thing we can do. It’s something we only like to turn to as a last resort. Something we like to save for Sweeps.

The Writers: You mean…?

The Producers: Yes. Fanservice. I want Salvatore skin as far as the eye can see. I want so much Vampire on Werewolf action that the Parent’s Television Council and PETA will be pissed at us. I want Stefan to man up for a change! I want so many extras dying, flames throwing, and hearts ripping that the gods will notice us again!

The Writers: We’ll go tell Ian to have his chest waxed…